By Kiernan Riley, BSN, RN
PhD Student, University Fellow, Penn State College of Nursing
Graduate Research Assistant, Nurses’ Stories of the COVID-19 Pandemic: A Qualitative Study
When I first heard of COVID-19, as a nurse working in the field, I felt like I became the go-to person for information and knowledge among family and friends. However, for the first time, I didn’t know the answers OR where to find them. As days became more and more unclear, instructions began to change, and work places became near frantic. The reality of the virus set in, and nursing (like the rest of the world) was changed forever. I was working as a home health and hospice nurse at the turn of COVID-19 in 2020. Leaving the house suddenly felt like a death threat; yet, we were asked to enter the homes of others and provide care for them. How do you provide quality care when you’re scared for your own health? Drives to work became eerily empty, and every day seemed overcast regardless of weather.
As a hospice nurse, I saw that every death was impacted by COVID-19, whether the virus was present or not. Funerals stopped. Family couldn’t visit. Often times, it felt like nurses were one of the few with the opportunity to bear witness. To complicate the processing of already difficult emotions, there was the immense guilt. I constantly thought, “I am a nurse, and yet I am not doing enough.” Watching the suffering of hospital nurses in major cities internationally, and working humbly as a rural hospice nurse, I couldn’t see the work I was doing as important. Through all this, phrases such as “unprecedented times” and “healthcare heroes” were being tossed around. Phrases that made me personally feel deep resentment for the people that created them. What did the “hero” sentiment mean for people who were scared to step out of the front door, into patients’ rooms, and do their jobs? At the time, I certainly didn’t feel like one.
Now, a year later, I feel braver and more resolute in my abilities as a nurse and as a caregiver. I see myself and my fellow nurses, even in my rural area, as heroes. My guilt has faded, and I feel proud I was able to help where I was at the time. As patients, interactions, and jobs slowly return to normal, and vaccinations are readily available in the United States, I have found myself feeling overwhelming pride for the entire nursing profession.
That’s my story as a nurse in the COVID-19 pandemic. But what about other nurses, those working directly in COVID units and truly on the frontlines, that continue to this day? Who are the people behind the term “heroes”, and how have they been dealing with COVID-19 both professionally and personally?
Using stories as a basis for exploration, a team of researchers from both the College of Nursing and the Arts and Design Research Incubator at Penn State hope to dive into the experiences of nurses working the frontlines during the COVID-19 pandemic. Nurses’ Stories of the COVID-19 Pandemic: A Qualitative Study is a pilot study in which frontline nurses will share their stories of working during the pandemic, and the impact this work has had on their professional and personal well-being. Through this work, a team of researchers will 1) explore the experiences of frontline nursing staff during the COVID-19 pandemic and 2) explore the feasibility, acceptability, and perceived efficacy of storytelling with frontline nurses as both a qualitative methodology and therapeutic group process for nursing staff.
Stories can serve as the medium to further connect to frontline workers as well as to gain an understanding of their experiences, encouraging smart and connected health. Findings will provide foundational data for a larger study that will inform 1) the preliminary development of strategies to support the well-being and effectiveness of nurses during emergency/disaster situations, 2) the effectiveness of storytelling as a therapeutic benefit and as a methodology to collect data, and 3) pedagogical approaches to prepare prelicensure nursing students for these situations.
Preliminary stories gathered during the pilot have revealed moments of despair, trauma, hope, and resilience among nurses. These stories have been compelling, thought-provoking, and awe-inspiring. The team looks forward to sharing the stories of nurses with the public.
This research has been graciously funded by the Arts and Design Research Incubator (ADRI) at The Pennsylvania State University and is a collaborative effort between Dr. Michael Evans, Assistant Dean for Nursing Education at the Commonwealth Campuses, and Dr. Bill Doan, Professor and Director of the ADRI, along with funded graduate research assistants, Kiernan Riley and Kalei Kowalchick, BSN-PhD Students, and funded undergraduate research assistant, Logan Desanto, Junior Honor’s Nursing Student at the Scranton Campus.