Difficult Conversations
| Lesson 12: Student-Centered Advising | ||||||
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Most institutions have specific policies and procedures for disruptive student behavior in a classroom or public setting. Penn State has an Office of Student Conduct, which is housed within Student Affairs. A Code of Conduct for Penn State students is listed on the site.
While it is important to familiarize yourself with these sites and policies, one-on-one settings present alternative challenges. As advisers, we work within this individualized setting via in-person meetings, phone conversations, and e-mail exchanges, but each of these settings present challenges for difficult conversations. Emotional outbursts, inappropriate language, and threats all present themselves to advisers, so learning to manage these situations and understanding the policies and procedures is important for advisers.
It is very common for advisers at World Campus to work with a variety of students. Having a difficult conversation with a student who is not assigned to you requires an adviser to analyze a student’s background as well as a student’s situation.
Some adult learners consider themselves to be consumers, and believe their educational experience to be an investment. They value freedom of choice and can perceive policies and procedures as a hindrance to their progress and success. Advising is a cooperative relationship in which both advisers and advisees share responsibility for making the advising relationship succeed. The Advising Syllabus helps guide the relationship and is a resource for both adviser and advisee.
At some point of your career with AA&SDS, you may need to address situations presented by angry students and frustrated students. It is important to plan for and respond to these types of students. Although is it not a common everyday occurrence, advisers should be prepared.
Angry Students
Advisers may encounter students who are angry over issues such as a course which has no available seats, a faculty senate petition that was not approved, or a grade in a course.
When you are contacted by a student who is upset, begin with a calming voice and express your desire to assist the student. Speak in a low tone and take the time to listen attentively to the student. Give the student time to express their anger. Judging the situation or offering solutions too quickly does not give the student time to be heard. Very often, this is all they need—someone to listen.
Once the student has had the opportunity to express their concern, paraphrase the student’s problem but also recognize their feelings. Listening and validating a student’s feelings is a powerful technique.
Sometimes students misunderstand a university policy, or a procedure. Advisers need to help the student understand the problem and assist them with a solution; however, it is likely you will need to check on some aspect of the student’s record to do so. Explain this to the student and, if necessary, put the student on hold or tell the student that you need to review pertinent information or consult with another office or staff member. Maintain a professional tone and stay calm. Be sure the student does not feel ignored or discounted. If necessary, take the student’s information and ask for a convenient time to reconnect. If the problem involves another office, call a representative from that office and make a personal transfer whenever possible. If no one is available, explain this to the student and offer to make a personal connection so an individual from the office may follow up with a call, e-mail, or appointment.
Review with the student what they can expect from the other office or staff member and remind the student of your role in addressing the issue.
If appropriate, follow up with the student to see if the issue has been resolved. This tells students that they are important and that their experiences matter to you as their adviser.
Should you experience a situation where the student’s behavior and/or language escalate, calmly state that the behavior and/or language is not acceptable. Reaffirm your commitment to help the student, but be firm that there are consequences for this type of behavior. In-person appointments may warrant assistance from other staff. If you feel threatened, use the AA&SDS emergency phrase, “Have you seen my red stapler?” This question will alert nearby staff to your situation. You can also call a staff member and use this statement if needed.
For phone conversations, you have the option of ending the call. If a student is truly unable to contain their anger, you can inform them that you intend to end the call. Should you need to do so, it would be important to make your supervisor and other staff and/or offices aware of the call.
Email messages with inappropriate or overly angry language should be brought to the attention of your supervisor. Do not respond to these e-mails until you have reviewed the student’s record and discussed the situation with your supervisor.
Frustrated Students
Some students experience frustration at some point in their college career. Students experience frustration about many things including faculty, class content, grades, policies, procedures, time management, study skills, and finances.
Consider these points of frustration as opportunities in the advising relationship. If an adviser reaches out to a student and assists him or her with a frustrating situation, the student is more likely to learn a new skill or develop knowledge that enriches their academic experience. Unresolved frustrations can develop into inflammatory situations, so it is important for an adviser to work with students to manage situations that result in frustration.
Take the time to listen to a student who is frustrated. Utilize the same techniques for an angry student. Listen to their frustrations, give them time to explain the issue fully, and then paraphrase or repeat the problem back to them while acknowledging their feelings.
Refer the student to appropriate information and encourage them to bookmark or make note of a resource for future reference. If the student is on the phone or contacting you via e-mail, provide links and help the student find the information so he or she learns how to research information in the future.
Helping students to understand the services that are available is crucial for student success. Perhaps, the student is struggling with a course for which tutoring or writing assistance is available. Perhaps a conversation with an instructor would provide the individualized guidance a student needs to understand a particular concept or recognize the importance of content. With no support, students assume they are alone and that no one is willing to help them or that no one cares.
Advisers can encourage students to make connections that lessen frustration. They can help students understand the appropriate means to seek assistance and emphasize to the student that using good communications skills may help them resolve their problems more effectively. Until that student is encouraged to seek assistance and communicate their difficulties, their frustration will increase, and the likelihood of the student becoming angry or despondent also increases.
Work to encourage proactive communication and behaviors from your advisees. Adult learners often try to manage their difficulties and neglect to inform instructors and advisers of their struggles. Proactive communication skills are important for success in the academic environment.
Browse the Penn State Student Conduct website provided above.
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