I thought it was an interesting concept that we tend to avoid conflicts of “face,” even when someone’s claim to that “face” is false. I’ve seen and experienced countless examples of people being “very full of themselves” or otherwise overconfident, and the response is frequently an avoidance, or perhaps a behind-the-back snickering, but rarely a confrontation trying to “put anyone back in their place,” so to speak.
I have a few friends whom I also consider potential networking sources, as they are in careers that I find fascinating, and are very high up, status wise, in those careers (e.g. one is a manager at Microsoft, another is the Chief of Staff for Winklevoss Capital in NYC), and I do find that my treatment of them is different than other friends or acquaintances. I find myself being less critical (internally) and assuming that, because they are so successful, any decisions they make or views they espouse must be for good reasons that I respect (definitely an expectations thing). I also notice that my way of talking to them is a bit more guarded, and I am a bit more prone to try to “show off” a bit more in the sense of showing my success or ability for any hypothetical business opportunities or connections they may throw my way in the future. I also have more leeway when it comes to boundaries, and am more apt to do favors for them in order to preserve that relationship as a positive one.
I can, and think we all can, notice how that sort of communication differs from those whom we find less appealing. I am far less accommodating, open, and willing to be friendly or helpful if it’s more of an “acquaintance” whom I do not really care for, and do not find their personal or work lives interesting or desirable at all. I think deep down, the instinct as far as motives is “these people have very little to offer me,” so I treat them differently than the aforementioned group.
Of course, none of this is set in stone; I have close friends who have little to offer career-wise, and I have people that I value their input on career and other things but don’t really enjoy their company. However, the general observation remains.
