Over the years, I’ve seen hundreds and hundreds of films of all different genres and origins, so many of which have had profound impacts on my personality and love for movies. For my last blog post of the semester, I wanted to compile 5 films that shaped me into the person I am today.

To begin chronologically, my first film is:

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)

Gore Verbinski‘s 2003 Disney classic was my first ever favorite film. I was about 7 or 8 years old when I first saw it and I remember wanting to be Captain Jack Sparrow really bad (in hindsight, perhaps not the greatest character to look up to). It isn’t just Black Pearl that I love, I also adore Dead Man’s Chest (2006) and am one of the very few people that loves/likes most of the films in the franchise.

I think this was the first film I ever truly connected with as a piece of media. I would walk around the hallways of my school humming Klaus Badelt’s monumental score. I cried at night because I wanted to be a pirate and knew that I never could be. I loved the world this film created and wanted to live in it. In many ways, it was the movie that made me love movies.

Atonement (2007)

With a large time jump, I’m taking you all to a much later period in my life when I was 15 years old. At this point, I didn’t watch movies consistently and I didn’t even think to put movies on when I was bored or needed something to do. I clicked play on this film on a whim in the summer because I was in the mood for a Keira Knightley period piece and found something that commanded my attention so deeply that I was shocked.

I had never seen anything as devastating and beautiful as this film and I didn’t know movies could be as emotionally evocative as Atonement is. I think this film made me more of an emotionally sensitive person because I have simply not approached movies the same way since I first saw it.

Two years after first seeing the film, I read the book, and was equally touched.

Suspiria (2018)

Luca Guadagnino‘s 2018 remake of Dario Argento‘s 1977 horror of the same name was a film I watched in bed on a snow day in 2019. Suspiria is a “horror” movie that I find incredibly comforting. It emanates femininity, sexuality, intimacy, while simultaneously being immensely and purposely disturbing and borderline ugly. Even upon first watch, it was more than just a movie to me, it was an experience, a feeling, a cradle.

Full of beautifully subtle performances by incredible actresses, monotone, yet appealing visuals, and a score/original soundtrack by Radiohead’s Thom Yorke, Suspiria is unforgettable. Since 2019, I’ve seen it several times and it has become a part of me.

The graduate (1967)

If you were to ask me what my favorite film is today, I would probably say that it is Mike Nichols‘ legendary 1967 film, The Graduate. I saw this film for the first time in late 2019 and liked it. I rewatched the film in June of 2021 when I was days away from graduating high school and absolutely fell in love with it.

At its heart, The Graduate is a movie about fearing the future and all of its uncertainty, something I resonate with very deeply. The inevitable disappointment that fate holds in store for us is something I think of nearly every day. While I always joke that I’m just like Benjamin Braddock, but a girl, I know deep down there is truth to this.

Roman Holiday (1953)

Lastly, I have a film I watched for the first time in November of 2020. William Wyler‘s Roman Holiday is a love story featuring a naive European princess (played by Audrey Hepburn) and a self-interested American reporter (played by Gregory Peck).

Prior to seeing this movie, I didn’t really see myself as a fan of romance. I was unbelievably pessimistic, despite being young. I hate to sound corny, but Roman Holiday made me realize that I love love in all of its forms. The movie’s tenderheartedness has changed me forever.

With that, my list comes to an end. Please feel free to say hi to me on letterboxd (@annikash) as I am always incredibly curious about what other people are watching!