FREE HUGS Campaign: Sometimes, a hug is all we need

17288-sometimes-a-hug-is-all-you-need

While I was rushing to class yesterday I noticed a girl standing on Old Main lawn with a Free Hugs sign but thought nothing of it and did not give it much thought as I was frantically running to statistics. However, today, as I was leaving the library, feeling accomplished with the amount of work I was able to finish, I noticed once again that another person was holding another Free Hugs sign. Not in as much of a rush, I was able to stop and observe the situation. I watched as a few brave souls or those just in need of a hug approached the student with the sign, held out their arms, and were engulfed in the much-needed hug.

As he seemed genuine enough I then gained enough courage to approach this student, this stranger, and share a hug—this two-way interaction and symbol of warmth and friendliness. I thought it might be awkward and uncomfortable but it was actually a really good hug! The comforting vibes and the embrace that made me feel protected and shielded was exactly what I needed upon leaving the library on this extremely stressful day. As I walked away, smiling, I was thinking about how I really haven’t hugged anyone since coming to school. The last hug right before my parents pulled away on move-in day was the last physical embrace, the last proof of affection and love. I never realized how much I missed hugging my mom goodnight each night or just having her arms to fall into after a tough day at school. Hugs are so powerful and are something that while at school we fall away from; this is why the free hugs campaign on campus was so effective.

I was intrigued by this vulnerability it takes to stand there with the sign and the motive and thoughts behind it. This idea of standingfreehug on the street with a cardboard cut out of free hugs on it seems to be a new phenomenon as I have seen it multiple times back home in Philadelphia or on the boardwalk at the shore or in the mall. How did it begin? With research I found that the Free Hugs Campaign started with Juan Mann whose sole mission was to reach out and hug a stranger to brighten up their lives. He went back to his hometown of Sydney but had nobody to greet him, no place to call home so he decided to go to the busiest intersection with his sign saying Free Hugs in the hopes of human interaction to brightening his life as well as those who are also going through struggles. On the campaign website he states “to see someone who was once frowning, smile even for a moment, is worth it every time”.

In this age of social-disconnectedness and lack of human contact, the effects of the Free Hugs campaign became a hit and put smiles on people’s faces across the globe. These hugs are meant to be random acts of kindness—selfless acts performed just to make others feel better. A challenge to you is to give a hug to someone who needs it during these busy times of midterms and homesickness.1

Adichie’s TED talk “We should all be feminists”

As I said in my previous post I went to watch Adichie speak last night, which really sparked this interest in learning more about her views and other works so when we watched her TED talk in class today I was so excited! In the TED talk entitled “We should all be feminists” I found the most powerful components to be when she told her personal stories of being treated as lesser due to the fact that she is a women. Being a natural storyteller, Adichie was obviously able to articulate her tales very well which made them very strong, however, the content was what really moved me. Adichie told the story of how she strived to be the class monitor but the teacher denied her even though she had the highest score on the test because it was “obvious” that the class monitor had to be a boy. This made me sick to my stomach because I can feel the disappointment she must have felt as a little girl, the feelings of not understanding why it has to be this way and why the world was so unfair to girls. And also the fact that this was the “norm” that this was supposed to be “obvious”. This really hit me hard because it is this enforcing of the societal formation of gender roles in our children that continues the cycle of gender inequality.

She then continued with her proposal that we need to raise our boys and girls differently. We cannot let their young developing minds be swayed by these dated stereotypes and labels or the world will never ever change. I liked her stance that this word “feminist” or “feminist movement” is meant for the academic setting this isn’t real life—this isn’t practical change. We have to make change starting with raising the young as not seeing gender as a reason for differences between people or difference in treatment. I found it so true when she remarked that boys are raised to mask their feelings of weakness such as fear so they can be hard men that are “manly” and exhibit the desired societal masculinity. Girls are told to shrink themselves, be successful but not too successful so they do not threaten the power of the men. This was a moment of realization for me as I realized wow this really doesn’t have to be the way it is. Males don’t have to pay for dinner. This is something we are taught and conditioned to believe as necessary but it actually is downgrading and further enforces these unequal gender roles.

The line that still sticks with me from her TED talk was “it is the little things that sting the most” and I totally 100% agree with this. It is the little sexist comments or the slights that replay in your head over and over, hurting just as much as the first time. We live in this world where we aren’t seen as “racist” or “sexist” because we aren’t killing masses of people due to their race, sex, sexual orientation, etc. but we are still doing extreme damage. It is this not as obvious mistreatment that adds up to become this overwhelming oppression that is overlooked and not seen as a problem. In reality, it is even more of a problem. It isn’t clear to a lot of people so we don’t do anything about it—this is such a problem.

Adichie’s TED talk “We should all be feminists” is extremely relatable and has a practical calling for teachings of gender equality within our youth. Definitely give it a watch! Plus check it out in Beyoncé’s song Flawless!!

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s Compelling Talk

I just got back from Schwab Auditorium where I was lucky enough to see Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, author of the novel Americanah, speak. My honors Philosophy focuses on race so when given the prompt “what is race or racism in America?” for the midterm essay I immediately thought of Adichie’s Americanah where the concept of race and racism in America is revealed to the reader through the eyes of an immigrant from Nigeria, this illuminating outside viewpoint. On the day that the sales opened I purchased the ticket to hear Adichie speak in the hopes of gathering some more insight as well as quotes about race in her novel to incorporate into my midterm paper, however, the ultimate result of attending her talk was pure enjoyment. I absolutely loved it.

Adichie started off by telling a captivating story about her house back home in Nigeria that was absolutely beautiful as it intertwined funny stories of childhood and writing on her father’s dusty desk with current tales of struggling to find the words and her rituals of walking around the house when having writers block. I loved how she has this deep connection with her childhood home and it was there that she went back to when she wrote her second novel; her house was more of a symbol it seemed as it was here that she was inspired and felt that she could be herself and was loved and accepted. The language that Adichie used through this opening speech was so compelling and moving as it was elegant and sophisticated but also at the same time real and relatable. I found that this was the case through the entire talk.

What really struck me through Adichie’s talk was the fact that it was actually a talk not just talking at us through a disconnected speech or description of a book. The audience was assumed to have read the book so the talk Adichie had with us was not necessarily about the book itself but was real talk about the writing process of the book and several topics that either come up in the book itself or are just prevalent in our lives today. She was talking to us like we were her friends, cracking jokes and talking about unspoken topics, that it made me feel so comfortable and engaged. She made me really laugh when she talked about excess in America and her reaction to having a whole entire row dedicated to cereal; she has never been so confused that Americans have to have so many different options and types of things. It really made her realize the vastness of the world. I also really loved when she talked about her parents letting her be a little odd and different from the “norm” in Nigeria as they let her stop the medical school path because “she wasn’t happy” and go to America to write. In Nigeria success was being a doctor or an engineer not a writer. She cracked jokes that she was the 5th child and the four children before her had become successful engineers, doctors, scientists, and pharmacists so they could let her go since they had done pretty well so far. She told stories so naturally and incorporated her unique personality that I was laughing out loud quite often. I don’t know how else to describe it other than she was so real.

I loved the layout of the talk and how it was mainly question based from the audience which was so cool! This made the options endless on what could be discussed and led to a lot of topics that were very thought-provoking and interesting to me. I had a feeling that a feminist question would come up and I was very excited when it did because I loved what she had to say about leaving certain things to the academic space as change is less about the movement and more about practical change. We have to raise boys and girls not thinking about gender and justifying things based on gender and not falling into the lie that the community tells itself. This really got me thinking. Also, I was very interested in her point that she discovered she was black when she came to America. This was something I found very interesting in the novel so when it was brought up for discussion I was very interested in what she further had to say. I commend her a lot for learning and reading about American history to become more aware of this identity that was placed on her and this new knowledge and respect led to happily and proudly identifying as black. The African American ethnic group as she calls it is whom she admires the most in the world. She feels as though there are many questions and conversations on race that are not being asked or had. I was so happy that she brought up this key element of the book that has been on my mind since the moment I read it.

I have even more respect and admiration for Adichie and really want to read some of her other books. I would recommend reading her novel Americanah or just watching Adichie’s TedTalks or just reading a little about her. She is truly fascinating.IMG_0062

I apologize for the quality of the shot:/

Inspiration from Ellis’s speech: A simple compliment can go a long way

compliments

When Ellis started off her speech today with complementing random people within the audience of our class the room immediately got a spark of life. People that were starting to doze from the lengthy stretch of listening to speeches snapped awake and hearts began to race as the anticipation of her saying something nice about them generated excitement. Smiles spread across everyone’s faces as this was not something we expected from one of the speech nor is it a common occurrence in our every day life. Ellis turned to me and with her friendly, genuine smile and perky attitude simply stated, “Anna, I really love that sweater”. At first confused and honestly shocked I was speechless and felt my face flush with color. A smile was all I could do. A thank you was all I could utter.

However, the feeling that I felt, something not many people get to experience these days as face to face compliments are not that common was so much more than the thank you I gave or the smile I returned. As she went on to state in her remarkable speech, sometimes these compliments are brushed aside or not given much notice but the immediate feeling someone gets, this spark of confidence and genuine connection and just overall happiness should not be forgotten. This is the fuel needed to continue the chain of kindness; it is needed to spread random acts of kindness or just a way of life where kindness is a key motive.

I did not experience having a “You’re Pretty” post-it stuck to my backpack to uplift my miserable day like Ellis described (which is such a wonderful, adorable thing by the way), however just hearing about this occurrence was enough to inspire me. Sitting there in class, listening to Ellis speak about how it is our duty as Penn State students as well as general citizens to be kind to those around us I could not agree more. I love how she pointed out that it is one of our many civic duties as general citizens, specifically current members of the Penn State community, to spread this love and kindness. We are all in the same boat—we are away from our loving families, have heaps of homework, and miss our dogs. So making someone’s day a little bit better while walking around campus will make our new home an actual loving home.

Walking around the rest of the day I made it my goal to compliment as many people as I could. In the hopes of making other people’s days better, my day actually turned out to be such a happy, positive day as smiles spread across the people’s faces. As I was walking into my next class I loved this girl’s bold pants and really admired her for having a unique style. Instead of holding to myself how much I love her pants like I probably normally would have, scared to talk to someone in the class I never have, I told her how much I absolutely love her pants. This led to a couple minutes discussion on the store Metro downtown where she got them; I had a new friend in my classmate. You never know what a simple compliment can do. Make it a goal to fulfill your civic duty to keep the kindness coming here at Penn State!

Thanks so much to Ellis for her fabulous speech! And for whoever placed the post-it on Ellis’ backpack to start it all, you rock. Did you ever think it would have had such a huge impact?