The other day, my fellow New Jersian friend and I were talking about the DMV (also called the MVC) to our other friend who lives in Pennsylvania, who has never had the privilege of experiencing the DMV in New Jersey. For those of you Pennsylvanians out there reading this, I would say that the NJ DMV is equivalent to any kind of torture you can think of. It literally sucks. Therefore, this week I’d like to share why I would never want to work for the DMV.

I don’t know if the workers are not paid well, if they’re working 12-hour shifts at a time, or if each day before they arrive to work they get into a fight with their significant other, but they are so mean. If you say hello to them, they will actually grunt at you. This is every person you go to at every DMV. I know this will sound slightly mean, but I do understand that many people in this world are just stupid and it’s probably extremely frustrating to deal with that. However, in order to provide a positive experience for all, you have to “overlook” that stupidity sometimes. There are so many comic strips about this and I will add some for all of our enjoyment.

Have you ever heard that joke that someone needs to bring the Declaration of Independence with them to the DMV? Honestly, it’s true. No matter what, you will most likely have the “wrong” documents, even if you’ve brought your social security card, your birth certificate, your passport, proof of residency, or anything else you can possibly think of that is legally issued. You still should have brought the Declaration of Independence with you. C’mon, what’s wrong with you?

Even when you have to get your car inspected, those people have no desire to make your experience even relatively nice. I’m convinced that they thrive in anger and meanness. They treat you like you’re lower than the dirt on the bottom of your shoe. If you say anything, they snap at you like an angry alligator! It’s best to stay silent unless spoken to. I wouldn’t be surprised if they failed your car just because they wanted to, not because there’s something actually wrong with your vehicle.

I truly wonder if one of the requirements to work at the DMV is to be mean. Is there an interview process? If so, I’m sure one of the main qualities they look for is to be one of the Devil’s acquaintances.