It’s supposed to be the most important day of her life. It’s supposed to be an exciting new chapter of her life. It’s supposed to be happy. So, why is she looking at us with that stare? 

Weddings. I’m sure if none of us have ever been to a wedding, the idea or topic has been brought about in some way or another. In a strange sense, weddings are deeply embedded into not just the next progression of life, but as a culture. It’s the biggest celebration of life and love, and the beauty in it can be seen by any kind: expensive, frugal, traditional, modern, intimate, or grand. Everyone from all walks of life can appreciate a good wedding. But, does everyone want one? 

It goes without saying that marriage is almost expected. In fact, it sometimes feels as natural as getting a job or buying a house– it’s just what you’re supposed to do. Especially as women, there usually isn’t a question of if you’ll get married, and more of when. Although this idea has been steadily changing, it’s no wonder that many girls think this way when marriage has always been a role to fulfill for as long as history can remember. 

When looking at this painting, it is clear as day what is going on here. The Hesitant Fiancée created by Auguste Toulmouche in 1866, has a strikingly modern feel to it. In fact, if your Tik Tok for you page is anything like mine, this painting has been used with a recent trend of people (mostly women) sharing their frustrations and relating it to the face of the woman in the center. 

The woman in question is undoubtedly the bride with her white dress and bridesmaids surrounding her before her big moment. Yet, that striking look on her face, directed straight at the viewer, cuts as sharp as a knife. While there is no strict story behind this painting, it doesn’t require much digging to reflect a very common reality at the time– she’s being married off unwillingly. There’s numerous reasons for this: status, wealth, arranged, politics, or all of them. She’s clearly unhappy, yet all she can do is sit there and release her frustrations through her expression.

It’s interesting when you look at the other women in this painting in contrast to the bride– her bridesmaids comforting her and giving her reassurance and the flower girl touching herself up in the mirror. I’d like to believe that the other women sort of represent the traditional woman who has accepted that this is what is to happen and that they must make the best out of it. As for the flower girl, I see her as sort of a reflection upon the older bride– the innocent and easily influenced child in love with the ideas of marriage unbeknownst to the downsides that await in the future. 

As stated before, this painting definitely has a more modern take, especially for the time it was painted. It challenges the idea that the ultimate and most important role for women is to get married in a subtle way that is just so perfect. And seeing this message change into a general repression and embodiment of women struggles today is somewhat sweet to see. That there is a shared experience here, even some 150 years after this painting was created. It just goes to show that there’s a lot more work to be done, but none of us are alone in the struggle.

Sources:

• https://www.ninertimes.com/arts_and_culture/a-rhetorical-analysis-of-the-hesitant-fianc-e/article_caad3e74-29a3-11ed-ab63-67ed9200f935.html
• https://fashionhistory.fitnyc.edu/1866-toulmouche-hesitant-fiancee/
• https://www.nytimes.com/2023/11/12/style/auguste-toulmouche-hesitant-fiancee-tiktok.html