WARNING: This post contains major spoilers from Game of Thrones. If you don’t watch Game of Thrones, go watch it now (at least until Season 3 Episode 9). If you don’t plan on watching Game of Thrones, then go watch it anyways because it is literally the best show in existence. You have been warned.
If you watch Game of Thrones (I will refer to it as GoT), then you know exactly what this is about. And for those of you who don’t, well stick around because I need more readers (just kidding, do what you want. I don’t control you). The Red Wedding might just be the single most depressing, surprising, and WTF moment in the whole show…in a good way (at least to me). If you watched this and felt nothing, then you’re a sociopath and must seek immediate help. If you watched this and did feel some sort of emotion , then congratulations for being a normal human being. People who don’t watch GoT must be thinking “What is this guy talking about? Aren’t weddings supposed to be fun and happy?” and to that I answer: Nope. Not in Game of Thrones. Here’s why.
Previously on Game of Thrones: Big war going on. House Lannister is bad because they killed Ned Stark, the lord of House Stark. Ned’s oldest son and heir, Robb Stark, is mad because he doesn’t have a father anymore and wants revenge. He gathers the forces of the North (one of the seven kingdoms in the continent of Westeros) and travels south to King’s Landing (the capital and seat of power). On the way, he must pass a bridge that is controlled by Walder Frey, the lord of House Frey and a really nasty old man with a bajillion wives. Because Walder Frey is greedy and old and has too many kids, he offers to let Robb and his army pass only if he agrees to marry one of his daughters (who are notoriously ugly). Robb accepts and crosses the bridge. Later on, Robb meets a hot field medic and decides to marry her instead. Walder Frey is not happy about this. For some reason (I forget why), Robb and his army decide to go back North and return home, and along the way they must cross Walder’s bridge again. Lord Frey knows of Robb’s new wife and proposes to let them cross the bridge if Robb’s uncle Edmure Tully (brother of Robb’s mom, Caitlyn Stark) marries one of Walder’s daughters (who are still really ugly). Edmure reluctantly accepts and a wedding is prepared. Ok, you’re all caught up on the basics.
The wedding ceremony has started and Edmure is walking up to see his wife for the first time expecting her to be as ugly as Walder himself. Surprisingly, she turns out to be extremely beautiful which makes Edmure really happy. Blah blah blah do you take this man as your husband blah blah blah yes I do, blah blah blah they kiss. After the ceremony, Robb, his mom Caitlyn, Robb’s pregnant wife Talisa (oh yeah I forgot to say she’s pregnant. Oh well) a bunch of important people from Robb’s army, Edmure, Edmure’s wife, Walder and his family, and Roose Bolton (one of Robb’s advisors) are all feasting, getting drunk and having a good ‘ol time. Now here’s where shit hits the fan.
Edmure and his wife are walked up to their bedroom. The doors to the dining hall are closed and locked from the outside, but everyone except Caitlyn is too drunk to care. The musicians playing fun medieval wedding music switch it up and play the song “The Rains of Castamere” a song all about how House Lannister absolutely smoked House Reyne for disobeying Tywin Lannister, the lord of House Lannister. Again, everyone except Caitlyn is too drunk to care. Already suspicious, she looks over at Roose Bolton, who’s sitting next to her. He points at his arm and Caitlyn pulls back his sleeve and sees that he’s wearing armor. Caitlyn realizes what’s going on. She stands up, smacks Roose in the face and shouts at Robb to warn him.
WARNING: What you are about to read will make you think “Wow, he was right. This IS really depressing, surprising and a really big WTF moment.” One of Walder’s family members stands up, pulls out a knife and repeatedly stabs Talisa in the belly effectively killing her and her unborn child. The musicians put down their instruments and pull out crossbows and shoot at any Starks they see. Robb takes a few bolts to the back and falls to the ground as he sees his wife die. Caitlyn is also shot but hides under a table. Walder Frey watches all this with a big smile on his face. While under the table, Caitlyn sees one of Walder’s wives hiding too and grabs her. She picks up a knife knife and threatens to kill Walder’s wife unless Walder lets her and Robb go. Robb stands up and weakly says “Mother”. Roose Bolton approaches Robb, says “The Lannisters send their regards”, and stabs him in the heart. Caitlyn watches it all, screams in agony, and slices the wife’s throat and stands there not knowing what to do with herself. Then one of Walder’s sons gets behind Caitlyn and slices her throat. The rest of the Stark army, all drunk, unarmed, and celebrating outside, get decimated by the Frey army. And just like that, the army of the North and a bunch of Starks are wiped out. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the Red Wedding.
I TOLD YOU. For those of you who still aren’t too overwhelmed by what just happened, let me tell you something. House Stark are the good guys and Robb was pretty much on of the main protagonists of the show. For 3 seasons and 9 episodes, we have rooted for House Stark. The show-runners made us really care for these characters (especially Robb and Caitlyn) by dedicating a lot of screen time to their story arcs and character development. And out of nowhere, they decide to kill them off. What makes it worse is that in later episodes, we see how the rest of the Stark family reacts to the Red Wedding which makes the whole event even more depressing and meaningful. I know right? So rude! On one side, I like this because it means that no character is safe which makes the show less predictable and more entertaining. On the other hand, Robb was one of my favorite characters and my 14 year old self who watched this for the first time couldn’t believe his eyes. To the show-runners, I want to tell you from the bottom of my heart that you suck but keep doing what you do. So yeah that’s that. If you don’t watch Game of Thrones, I recommend you go watch it now because it is filled with crazy and insane moments like this. And to those who do watch, I’m sorry for digging up bad memories. More crazy GoT moments will be discussed in future blogs. Until next time folks!
Hi, this is a comment.
To get started with moderating, editing, and deleting comments, please visit the Comments screen in the dashboard.
Commenter avatars come from Gravatar.