Updates with title!
Title: Monitoring and Treating Mental Health in Students As A Result of COVID-19
The year 2020 brought nothing but the unexpected; within three months of the New Year, the daily routines of almost every American were turned upside down. Students –– used to a day full of in-person education and social development amongst peers –– took one of the largest shocks, as their days shifted from a socially rich environment to strict isolation. With online-only learning persisting deep into 2021, physical health of students has remained a top priority for educators, but the true pandemic became the vast detriment of the mental health of students. Up to 80% of students report that COVID-19 has negatively impacted their mental health and 20% describing a significant worsening of mental health issues, students everywhere are left isolated, anxious, and depressed. Worse yet, 55% of students do not know where to look for help for mental health assistance. The toxic stress placed on students of all ages from the COVID-19 pandemic can increase psychopathologies experienced by students, hinder development in younger students, and set youth on a path to chronic mental health disorders that will continue into adulthood.
(Thesis) In order to address the vast mental health crisis amongst students, all institutions of education should begin administering routine mental health surveys of students in order to identify at-risk individuals, track mental wellbeing of the student bodies, and coordinate students in need with adequate resources and counseling.
1). Hey Ashley…I am supposed to comment on the title but I don’t think you thought of one yet, neither have I !!!
2). I think that your introduction is well done. You give the audience a general understanding of the topic with the many statistics you included. Statistics is an easy way to grab attention and help your audience put the problem of the mental health crisis into perspective. Then you wrapped it up with your solution to the issue brief, which by the way makes a lot of sense and is well written.
3). I really like your thesis, it is very specific and you describe how exactly institutions of education should implement the mental wellbeing of their students.
1. The new title is very clear, which is always a positive aspect when interacting with new information.
2. The introduction is also written really well. There is already a lot of detail apparent within this draft of the introduction.
3. The thesis is again very clear at describing what you would like to accomplish, which will help teach your audience about said topic.
1. The title you added works great as far as I can tell, I would say that it hints at your thesis more than echos it, and to be clear, I believe that that is a good thing. It’s something I was struggling with, but I think you did well on that.
2. Once again, you absolutely nailed the exigence. COVID is the story still, and your addressing something directly related, which you make very clear in both the title and the introduction.
3. The thesis, as well, is very straightforward. It’s clear what you plan to write about going forward, it isn’t too vague, and I can tell exactly what it is you are trying to advance.