Title: The Effects of Elective Cosmetical Procedures on Companion Animals
Companion animals are something many households enjoy for various reasons. We often have a symbiotic relationship with them, whether it is with the typical dog or cat, or even a spider in a box. These animals provide companionship, protection, entertainment, service, responsibility, and health benefits. In return, we care for them and provide them with a home and any necessary resources, including veterinary visits to improve their health. However, sometimes specific procedures are done to alter the appearance of the animal by changing the physical structures that they are born with. These elective cosmetic procedures include declawing in felines, tail docking, hair dying, devocalization, and ear cropping and are often done for reasons such as improving show animals’ appearance or removing aspects that could harm the owner, such as claws (1). Unfortunately, these procedures can lead to numerous side effects, including neurological and physiological reactions, such as lameness, behavioral alterations, and nerve damage (1). Neurological side effects can also manifest through behavioral changes in the animal (1). Additionally, any time an animal goes under anesthesia for these procedures, there is a great deal of risk involved (1). This paper will analyze the different effects of these procedures on cats and dogs. Due to these negative side effects and potential risks, these procedures should be outlawed, following in the footsteps of states that have already done so.
1. “Cosmetic Procedures.” VMBS News, March 11, 2022. https://vetmed.tamu.edu/news/pet-talk/cosmetic-procedures/.
1). Comment on the title. How does it offer a way forward on the issue? Does it hint at or echo the paper’s thesis? Make suggestions.
I think that your title is great and explains exactly what your paper will be about and hints/echos the thesis perfectly.
2). Does this piece’s title and introduction respond to an exigence?-Does it make the issue pressing or connect to other pressing needs and issues? Make suggestions.
I think that the title could be altered a bit to show more exigence; for example, it could be “The Dangers of Elective Cosmetical procedures on Companion Animals.” This could make the issue sound more pressing. I think that the introduction paragraph is strong, and you explain everything super well and clearly. If I were to add anything, I would add a bit more about the dangers to show what your sections will be.
3). Comment on the thesis. Does it set up a clear argumentative claim? Is it advancing a specific policy or practice? Can you imagine how the rest of the argument will unfold?
I think your thesis does a great job of setting up a clear argument and shows the direction of the paper. I like how you cited that states have done this before. I think in your paper you could add what states have already done this and how and add more about its effects to show how expanding the policy is a good thing.
Overall great job! I really like it, and I think your thesis and introduction I strong.
1). Yeah, title is pretty great. It gets to the point and clearly hints at the thesis perfectly.
2). I agree with Emma that the title could create a little more exigence. Other than that, I think the rest of the paragraph is good at creating a sense of exigence.
3). The thesis is pretty clear on what it is arguing and it is advancing specific policies. I agree with Emma that you should maybe add more detail to make it easier to see where the argument will go in the rest of the paper.