Words have the ability to be empowering and inspirational. Words can make us laugh, they can make us cry, but is it the words themselves that we find so empowering and inspirational or is it how they are said to us?
Nonverbal communication refers to all the different aspects that go into the meaning of the message besides the words themselves (Schneider, Gruman & Coutts 2012). The way a person is standing, their facial expression and tone in their voice all help contribute to understanding the meaning of the message. These nonverbal cues can add important information that give insight to what the speaker is trying to convey. It becomes more than just words, it’s as if you are listening to the speaker with your eyes trying to gauge an understanding of the emotion behind the words.
I personally find nonverbal cues to be more powerful than the words themselves. A person can say “I am so angry”, but the look on their face or their body language can give much more insight to how angry they actually are. It is not necessarily how the words are said, but instead how a person says them makes all the difference.
When trying to come up with a situation to prove my point, I couldn’t help but think of my dog. He doesn’t necessarily understand all the words I am say to him, but he is able to pick up the nonverbal cues such as my body language and facial expressions. He is able to tell when I am angry at him, perhaps by the angry face I am giving him or the tone in my voice. The wiggle in his tail when I say “good boy” in a high pitched shows helps him understand that I am happy with him. He doesn’t judge my words by the words themselves, but rather by the nonverbal cues I give off.
Sure, we can say there in a big leap between humans and dogs in understanding the meaning behind spoken words. However, this silly yet simple example shows exactly how powerful and important nonverbal cues are. Nonverbal cues can add important information that give insight to what the speaker is trying to convey. My dog is more likely to pick up on the nonverbal cues rather than the words themselves, yet he still understands when I am happy or angry.
Reference
Schneider, F. W., Gruman, J. A., & Coutts, L. M. (Eds.). (2012). Applied social psychology: Understanding and addressing social and practical problems. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications.
“I personally find nonverbal cues to be more powerful than the words themselves.”
I find that non verbal cues are a way to understand someone and to connect with their emotions. I enjoyed reading your blog post because I really can relate that non verbal cues can have more of an effect on people then using words.
In my personal opinion words are just words. Words can be repeated so many times and still have no real meaning nor emotion behind them. Like when a person says “I’m sorry”, when a person says that but repeats the bad behavior over and over again it just shows the word “sorry” doesn’t mean anything. When a person says sorry and they really mean it you can tell if their behavior changes that they really meant that they were sorry.
Non verbal cues can have an effect of people. When a person is really mad they won’t have to verbally say that they are mad for the people around them to sense that this person has a problem. When a person is truly made you can tell by their gestures and also there tone that they aren’t at ease. When a person is happy, they can say that they are happy you can tell from the tempo in the person voice, there gestures and body language that they are in an upbeat type of mood. Non verbal cues are easier to examine than verbal communication.
Do you think that non verbal cues can be false? The reason I ask is because some people are able to put on a act for how they feel when they really might feel differently.
The focus on how the words are said as opposed to what words are used is a very interesting topic. Nonverbal communication is without a doubt a very strong player in how our messages come across as we speak (Schneider et al., p. 236). I understand where you come from with the argument that how our words are said matter more than the words we use, but I counter-argue that what truly matters isn’t how we say the words, but how the words are received.
Even if we take the precautions to show favorable body language, speak in a soft tone, and keep a smile on our faces, our words and body language can be misinterpreted. Whether our channel is a computer cable, air molecules, radio waves, or telephone wires, whether we speak with care or carelessly, what truly matters is how our message is decoded, perceived, and interpreted (Schneider et al., p. 233). The receiver is the one who decides what they believe we meant, and what we really meant or how we though we sounded won’t play as big of a part as how we were interpreted.
I do, however, agree with you 100% on the statement that nonverbal cues hold more power than pure words. Even if we say “I love you,” if our body is closed up, our tone harsh and sarcastic, and our facial expression disgust, the meaning conveyed will be completely different than the meaning which would be carried in the words themselves. With those nonverbal cues, the phrase “I love you” now turns to have the meaning “I don’t love you at all” or perhaps even “I hate you” or “You disgust me.” The language of the body is often perceived as speaking more truthfully than the language of the tongue, and it’s not uncommon for individuals to believe the message that the body conveys over the message that the tongue does (Beebe & Masterson, p. 152-164).
Your dog was a wonderful example of the power of nonverbal communication. The same goes for my cat. I can understand whether she wants outside, food, water, attention, or a place to lie down beside me simply by the tone of her voice and her body language. She does not use words, and yet we communicate efficiently and effectively. I’ve learned to understand her to a point that even if she could use words, I don’t feel it would help me to understand what she wants any better. Likewise, she knows if I’m upset, happy, or simply asking her over by the tone of my voice. She has no idea what words I’m using, but she comprehends my feelings nonetheless.
References
Beebe, S. A., & Masterson, J. T. (1986).Communicating in small groups: principles and practices (2nd ed.). Glenview, Ill.: Scott, Foresman.
Schneider, F.W., et al. (2012). Applied Social Psychology (2nd Ed.). Los Angeles: Sage.
One specific area of nonverbal communication I find most interesting is that of facial expressions. Before reading the section in chapter 10 devoted to nonverbal communication, I was unaware of how crucial body language can be. In the section the authors cite that individuals seeking a position at a company were seen to be more desirable solely based on cues such as smiling, eye contact, and nodding. My parents stressed these behaviors constantly, yet I never understood the magnitude of nonverbal communication.
I mentioned that facial expressions piqued my interests when considering the variety of nonverbal communication. Below is a link to an informative video that was produced by KQED, a public media provider in northern California. This video introduces psychologist Paul Ekman who, inspired by Charles Darwin, worked to uncover the variety of emotions that can be produced by our faces. While gestures and movements of the body vary in meaning from culture to culture, Ekman (1971) suggested that there are at least six universal emotions that humans show with their faces. These emotions include: anger, surprise, fear, disgust, joy, and sadness. These forms of expression aren’t merely imitated, but work to promote survival from infancy. Paul Ekman and his associates at the Ekman group have continued advancing technology necessary to identify emotions in facial recognition software and continue in their research in contemporary times.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PFqzYoKkCc
Finally, I relate to your experience of nonverbal communication with your pets. I don’t currently own a dog, but have a house full of three cats. They are generally well behaved, but I have learned a few pointers from watching the show My Cat From Hell, and the cat whisperer Jackson Galaxy. In the show he demonstrates how useful the “slow blink” method is. By relaxing his face and blinking slowly, he is non verbally communicating peace and trust to many confused cats!