As life begins, there is a bond between a mother and child. After being in the womb for so long, it is often hard to detach a child from its mother. Not only does this happen for infants, this goes on throughout life with other relationships. For example, a husband and wife often have a bond with each other. They become a support system and an attachment is formed between them.
While looking into the relationships that are formed throughout life, attachment is often found. When humans become close with one another, they develop a need to be around those that they have become close with. This is seen as an attachment.
As an attachment gets stronger, the fear of losing someone can be unbearable. The problem with this is that it is natural for relationships and attachments to be broken. Often when this happens, separation distress begins. This is attention focused on the lost other and extreme discomfort at that person’s inaccessibility. (Schneider, Gruman & Coutts, 2012)
If we think about a husband and wife, most of the time they are going to be with each other while they are sleeping. While spending time apart, many couples will report not being able to sleep without the other around. Often times, partners will feel more emotionally distressed as well. (Eastwick,P. 2008) This could revert back to the fact that mothers are often around their children. As an infant is tired and cranky, a mother will hold them and rock them to sleep. This attachment being formed also makes it more comforting to be comforted by those that you are attached to.
In reality, mothers and their children will have a bond. Most mothers also have an attachment with their children and are comforted when they are soothing their children. With that being said, attachment is not a bad quality. It shows that we care about those around us. What could make attachment not leading to separation distress is by being practical. As we get older, we need to realize that we can not always be around those that we love all of the time. By understanding this, we also need to allow ourselves and others alone time. It is normal to spend time apart from loved ones and this time apart could bring you closer together.
Schneider, F. W., Gruman, J. A., and Coutts, L. M. (Eds.) (2012). Applied Social Psychology: Understanding and Addressing Social and Practical Problems (2nd ed.). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications. ISBN 978-1412976381
Eastwick,P. (2008) Separation Distress Among Romantic Partners and its Lessons for Human Mating. Retrieved from http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attractionologists/200808/separation-distress-among-romantic-partners-and-its-lessons-human