My Husbands Community

I didn’t always understand my husband’s desire to play video games. He’s played a few over our 14 years of marriage, nothing I’d call an obsession or and addiction but for sure something I found annoying. Honestly though, I just didn’t know what benefit he was getting from it. I tried playing one once … World of something … just to see what it was like. I thought it was a waste of time. After all, I had real friends and real things to do.

A couple of things about my husband first, he doesn’t like crowds of people or going out dancing (he does it usually only for my benefit). He would prefer a small backyard barbeque with a couple of friends instead of an all-out party environment, I could go either way.

It wasn’t until I decided to go back to school to get my BS in psychology that I really started to understand the psychological benefits he was getting from it. I often heard him laughing and talking with others, just enjoying himself and his little bit of free time he took to do something he enjoyed doing. This week’s commentary discussing online communities drove this point further home for me. A world where someone can limit and monitor the about of stimulation that they allow in doesn’t seem so bad after all (PSU, 2014). The games foster a sense of belonging and being a team player is important as they must all work towards a common goal.

I came across some interesting research. The Social Benefits of Computer Games by Peter Forster. Forster conducted an online self-nominated survey to try to ascertain benefits people get from participating in online gaming. What he and apparently other researchers have found is that people who play computer games, especially role playing games, have a higher psychological sense of community within the groups that they play with. The psychological sense of community can be beneficial to the development of identity (Forster, 2009). Obviously studies that use self-nomination are limited in their external validity but one can admit that a correlation makes sense. The availability of online communities forces us to reevaluate our definitions of community. The mold of the American community is changing and can take on many different forms. Face to face communication and relationships that demand physical proximity are not the only available ways for us to engage in activities anymore. If the computer gaming takes over all areas of life and creates a degeneration of actual physical and emotional relationships then it could become a problem. As with anything, a healthy balance is necessary in order to reap the benefits that online computer gaming can afford to those who play them.

I’m comfortable in groups and love face to face interaction, strangers, friends, or whatever, I say bring it. My husband, not so much, and you know what? That’s okay. I’m happy that he is seeking a sense of community and that he engages in life. Just because it is not the way that I choose to engage in life doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Don’t worry though, the moment he starts demanding sandwiches and locks himself in a room with his computer … I’ll pull the plug!

 

References:

PSU (2014) PSU.edu Retrieved from: https://courses.worldcampus.psu.edu/su14/psych424/001/content/12_lesson/04_page.html

Forster, P (2009); The social benefits of computer games Proceeding of the 44th annual APS conference pp 62-65 Retrieved from: http://www.academia.edu/705294/The_Social_Benefits_of_Computer_Games

3 comments

  1. Protein-Shake

    My Husbands Community | Applied Social Psychology (ASP)

  2. I agree fully with your sentiments in this blog post. I too feel that people are different and inherently, will find support in a variety of different places – its the beauty of the world right? We’re all of us unique in our own way. In fact, studies have shown that some people benefit from unorthodox instances of community, by this I mean, online chatrooms like reddit, bodybuilding forums etc. People sometimes excel at certain things but are more comfortable speaking to those whom they feel, can get them.

    Just like your husband, a transgender male, Shawn Francis, felt maligned due to who he was and might not have thrived in a conventional setting due to workplace discrimination but having an outlet, and others to support him can definitely help.

    http://www.bozemandailychronicle.com/news/article_702b0fbe-ff02-11e3-a853-0019bb2963f4.html

  3. Ha-ha, I don’t blame you for drawing the line at sandwich requests.

    After reading your blog I thought of how online gaming communities differ from other interactions such as a party at someone’s home. I also don’t mind face time but I often feel pressure to quickly find someone who I have something in common with. Its never any fun to be surrounded by people and find yourself the odd ball out. But with online gaming communities, you know you are among others like you, who enjoy the types of games you are playing and possibly share in similar social behaviors and perspectives. Whenever I log into a blog about other women with BRACA2 or women with young children, I don’t have to worry if the people I’m talking to are going to understand my concerns. There isn’t even any pressure to say anything at all. I could just log on, read posts and comments and be content with that alone. In a face to face crowd, there are those pressures to say the right things, act the right way. At a face to face function, there is always a risk of coming across someone who clashes with you.

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