Depression Hurts

I see those signs that say “Depression Hurts” almost everywhere. Every time I see one, I think: “How much does it hurt? Who does it hurt? Why does it hurt?” I think back to my very first relationship. I thought this person and I would be together forever. I was in 9th grade and in love. But my heart was broken when we broke up only 2.5 months later. I thought I would never find love, I thought that I would be alone for the rest of my life. I went to school numb on the inside, on weekends I didn’t want to get out of bed. I stopped eating and the things that I used to love to do I simply didn’t want to do anymore. I knew I was depressed. My friends would tell me to “snap out of it”, to just come and hang out with them, but the thought of being around others was simply overwhelming. But over time, it got better. I started to engage with others at school, hang out with my friends, get up on weekends again and eat food. With time I got over it. From that experience, I learned that I hurt my friends, because they didn’t know what to do with me, I hurt myself, because I knew I should get out of bed and hang out with others, I knew in my head that I am a good enough person to be with someone else, but my heart lead me to believe otherwise(or maybe it was the other way around), but I couldn’t and that hurt and depressed me more. That is a feeling that I would feel again and again as I got older, but always a little differently and always a little less.

So, now I imagine that every time I ask those questions when I see those signs, because there are people who have to feel what I felt their entire life. Imagine feeling like you are never able to accomplish your goals and dreams, imagine that people don’t want you to be around them, that you have nothing worthwhile to contribute. It’s not as easy as snapping out of it, it’s not as easy as choosing to not be depressed. It takes time. We’ve all been there, so why do we always tell others to “just don’t be depressed?”

By being nice to each other and by showing our classmates, coworkers, etc. that they matter, because they are people too, we can help prevent others from feeling like they are less. A simple smile, a friendly “Hi” can really make a difference.



  1. Gabriel A Haggray

    Jason- Thank you for your thoughts on my post. I agree that time is what will determine if it is clinical or situational. In this particular case, it was situational and in no way am I implying that a simple “snap out of it” is sufficient for overcoming depression. The statement about feeling that feeling again and again… is because I’ve had my share of heart breaks and emotional pain. Each time I repeated a heart break I knew that I’d been there before and that I will get through this. This a lesson that i’ve learned about many situations of disappointment.

    Christy – Thank you for your response! I think that when it comes to situational depression and I define that as being depression based on a specific situation and not indicative of systemic depression, can be healed over time. In this case it is very helpful to be there for the person who is going through those feelings. Being available and willing to listen what this person could need and would be helpful. Not judging, not trying to fix the situation, but listening and responding and understanding.
    In the case of systemic depression, it is very important that someone with a degree is reached out to ensure that someone with who is trained can help. It is equally important that one is a good listener to someone with depression and that one tries to understand where they are coming from. There are other different ways to understand and help someone who has depression, but leaving the diagnosing and treatment to a professional is still the most helpful thing someone can do.

  2. Jason Raymond Johnson

    I have to admit; while I was reading your blog, I couldn’t help but to recall some old grade school memories myself. I think just about everyone I know, including me, went through similar experiences growing up. I’m sure we all remember our first love, then it was probably followed by our first heartbreak soon after. Back then, two of the toughest challenges we faced was either coping with the loss of our true love, or not remembering our locker combination.

    Depression does come in all forms though, and those forms have their own unique way of overcoming those feelings. You mentioned some examples of depression when someone may feel a loss of appetite, distance yourself from others, stop doing things that you enjoyed, or as you put it “being alone for the rest of my life.” Sometimes it would be easy for people to just “snap out of it”, but I’m sure you’ll agree with me that we have learned in more in depth that it’s a little bit more complicated than that. You mentioned that it “takes time” as a solution to offer someone advice that appears to be in a depressant state of mind. I believe that “time” is one of the key components that truly define whether or not that person is suffering from a form of depression. In your case, we all know it’s common for someone to experience some type of sadness especially soon after dealing with the loss of someone who was special to them. But it is the “time” that truly distinguishes the severity of the depression and determines if it’s just common, or something that has developed into something much more.

    One statement that you made on your blog, and I was hoping that you would have elaborated on it just a little bit more, was when you stated “that is a feeling that I would feel again and again as I got older, but always a little differently and always a little less.” Why is this?

  3. Christy Rae Kellogg

    I really appreciate your post. It interesting to hear about a case of depression. I would wager that when you were going through this that you didn’t think you were depressed but just going through some stuff. Its interesting to see how easily depression can happen.

    I like your suggestion on being a good human being to help those around you out of a depression, even if you don’t know anything about their situation. Can you think of any other ideas that an individual can do to help someone stuck in depression? Or does it just take that long to get over that minor aid is all that can be applied?

Leave a Reply

Skip to toolbar