Jealousy is a common problem or concern that arrives at some point in most if not all relationships. Most people do not like to admit the fact they are jealous in their relationship in fear of being perceived as insecure. There is a huge debate as to whether jealousy is healthy or unhealthy in a relationship. Some psychologists say that jealousy prevents “mate-poaching” which keeps mate from wandering off to someone else by using mate-retention behaviors (Eckel, 2016). Some of these behaviors include putting your arm around your partner at a party. Many individuals feel more self-confidence when their partner is jealous because they feel that they are still interested in them.
Jealousy can be extremely dangerous. It can lead to domestic abuse, emotional abuse as well as suicide or murder-suicide. There are individuals who kill their partner if they see the relationship ending because the partner wants to be with someone else. One example is seen in the movie Fatal Attraction with Glenn Close. She had an affair with Michael Douglass character and became jealous of his wife and their family. Her jealous rage caused her to terrorize the family. Another example which is a high-profile case of Jodie Aries for killing her ex-boyfriend Travis because he didn’t want to be with her anymore and he was talking to other women. She wanted to be exclusive but he didn’t want a relationship with her so she stabbed him to death numerous times.
Infidelity can also cause future jealousy especially an individual decides to take the partner back. They will want to check their cell phones, social media pages, e-mail accounts and sometimes monitor calls. It can be hard for them to trust their partner again. In relationships without infidelity you may hear a partner say, “I trust you. It’s him/her I don’t trust.” So, does trust and jealousy go hand in hand?
References
Eckel, S. (2016). Listening to jealousy. New York: Sussex Publishers, LLC.
I think that jealousy is definitely a common factor in romantic relationships and sometimes even in just friendships. Just a couple weeks ago, my younger cousin who is in high school was complaining that her best friend had started hanging out with someone else at the school and it was really bothering her. She said she could not stand this other person despite never having a confrontation of any kind with her. It seemed more like instead of hating this girl, she was experiencing jealousy over the time her best friend was spending with someone other than her. In relationships in general, people can become insecure about themselves and whether or not they are still valuable to the other person. In some cases, childhood issues such as parental abandonment can lead to a constant fear that others will leave also causing them to become irrationally jealous and overprotective of their relationships for fear that if they aren’t, that they will lose another person.
Fatal Attraction definitely seems like an interesting movie that I will watch! It was a great way to explain jealousy with movies. Jealousy is a very interesting feeling, you even have it when you are a baby. You never want to share your mother with others, even siblings. It is also an interesting fact that jealousy is the number one leading cause in divorces. People not only get jealous of their spouses, they get jealous of celebrities, friends, even strangers. I have an idea that cognitive-behavioral techniques could be used to decrease jealousy and it will work positively.
Jealousy can be very dangerous. I’m sure most people in their relationships in their lifetime have dated or had friends who have become jealous for one reason or another. Being jealous ,demonstrates that the person who is acting in that manner has some significant growing up to do.
Jealousy can be observed or even learned , but it is very destructive to any relationship and will generally hurt you rather than help you.
I really enjoyed reading your thoughtful post. You really provide some exceptional insight on the views of jealousy.
Thank you