Aside from your own home, starting at a very young age we are all exposed different kinds of social interactions through our educational experiences. Going to school and obtaining an education is very much a social process (Schneider, Gruman & Coutts, 2012). What social experiences are our kids really having at school though!? As a parent when you send your child to school, you expect your children to be learning such things as leadership skills, resolving conflicts, cooperation, maintaining friendships and developing positive self-concepts aside from gaining knowledge of course. What you don’t expect is for your child to come home sullen, confused on their homework when they typically do very well in the subject, and with a black eye!
This happened with my son. He is in fifth grade now and has typically been a very good student. His best and favorite subjects have been math and science. He is a little guy, usually the smallest boy in the class if not the smallest kid, but he has always had friends and is very outgoing during recess. Unfortunately though, the other week he came home with a black eye from receiving a “flying elbow” to the face. It happened at recess when he accidently bumped into a boy and the boy started beating on him. There were several (at least 3) teachers present but none “noticed” the fight. Unfortunately my son felt it was best not to report it to any teachers for fear of retaliation. However, he came to school that day with no black eye and had one by the end of the day and no teachers ever questioned him about it…it was largely ignored. Once I reported the incident the very next morning (which I was furious), my son was made to defend himself/his statements about what happened against the kid that did it and that kid’s friends and no punishment was given to the kid that beat my kid up….what kind of a lesson is that!?
My son has also been experiencing difficulties in his academics this year as well. In the very first marking period his math grade went from an “A” to a “D” and he has been struggling with math homework assignments ever since. I feel this is attributed to the teacher/student interaction, or lack thereof, that is taking place this year. And my son has been feeling a lot more disappointed with his educational experience this year. It has been very disappointing to see as a parent. We learned in our lesson readings this week that kids that experience social, behavioral and emotional difficulties in school are at a disadvantage for reaching their academic potential (Schneider, Gruman & Coutts, 2012). I am concerned that if these issues continue and are not addressed properly at my son’s school that he will fall into this category. I, as his mother, have been experiencing a huge lack of communication between his teachers and me (not by a lack of effort on my part), which I think also contributes to a negative outcome for his education. For me, this begs the question….what kind of social experiment has education become?
Reference:
Schneider, F.W., Gruman, J.A. & Coutts, L.M. (2012). Applied Social Psychology (2nd ed.): Understanding and Addressing Social and Practical Problems. Thousand Oaks, CA. SAGE Publications, Inc.
Firstly, I am very sorry to hear about what your son, and your family, has been going through with regard to his education. It’s unfathomable to believe that the teachers, or any superiors, haven’t done more to investigate the situation and find a corresponding solution. Aside from this, it’s even more intolerable that there was no punishment given to the boy that was bullying your son. My immediate thought after having read that three teachers were present when your son was being bullied was that of diffusion of responsibility. It begs the question if there was a chance that any of those three teachers did see the bullying towards your son but didn’t feel responsible enough to do anything about it. It’s hard to understand how nobody could have seen or helped him with that much monitoring occurring.
As well, and in regard to the child who bullied your son receiving no punishment, belief perseverance may have been a factor in said decision. Though it’s overwhelmingly obvious (with a black eye present) that your son was in-fact bullied, it may have been the concrete beliefs of any teachers or supervisors that the accused child wasn’t responsible. This, and in this case very clearly, leads to unfair conclusions and solutions for members of different parties involved. To combat this issue, I would recommend speaking to higher authority (police, if you have to) about what the best solution would be. As other social learning and development theories have stated, it can be smart to fight for a just solution, even if it may cause excess attention, so your son internalizes his self-esteem and worth. As well, having him enrolled in an educational environment with clear-cut rules, regulations, and guidelines that are easily listed and accessible all may help in preventing bullying. This is because if ground rules are broken (in this case, a classmate hurting your son, a professional potentially turning their head to bullying, or a group of professionals letting a bully get away without punishment), those responsible for breaking such will clearly meet their consequences (Bullying, 2016).
Academic self-concept, described in our book, seems to possibly relate to you worry of your son not reaching is highest potential because of situational factors. I would think that, even if he is currently in an educational situation that isn’t serving him fairly, giving him continuous encouragement and support for the effort he exudes, in all respects, will help heighten is academic self-concept and social surroundings. As well, communicating what your son went through to other parents, asking for tips, and spreading the awareness of unacknowledged bullying at this specific institution may help decrease the potential of reoccurrence. Best of luck, and again, I hope the situation relieves itself as soon as possible.
Regards,
Elaine
References
Bullying, . (2016). Build a Safe Environment . In http://www.stopbullying.org. Retrieved March 22, 2017.
Schneider, F. W., Gruman, J. A., & Coutts, L. M. (Eds.). (2012). Applied Social Psychology (Second ed., pp. 365-378). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.
First, I am so sorry to hear that your son has been struggling, and even more sorry to hear that there were no repercussions for the child who gave your son a black eye. I am a nanny, and I can tell you if my seven-year-old little one ever got off of the bus with a black eye, I would be infuriated. I can barely imagine how that feels as a parent. Hopefully this does not become a repetitive theme in his school and with this particular other child, however maybe these articles are something you can bring to the principal’s attention. In a study by Rigby (2000), the effects of bullying are “further exacerbated by having inadequate social support.” It was additionally noted that lower self-esteem persisting into young adulthood has been noted in male victims of bullying (Rigby, 2000). Boys are also less likely to seek support when being victimized. This, combined with the lack of attention given to the situation by the school staff, combined with the way they dealt with the situation after you reported it, does not lend a hand to increasing support for your son. Perhaps, having the authoritative figure essentially put your son on trial for the occurrence, and let the bully walk away scot-free, left your son with “low perceived social support” (Rigby, 2000). Separately, there are positive relationships between social support and “ability to handle…school hassles,” student motivation, and grades (Rosenfeld, Richman, & Bowen, 2000, p. 206). Granted, social support can also be found within friends and parents, this study did note that in terms of getting better grades, higher self-efficacy, and school engagement, having the teacher as a source of high social support is more strongly related than if just parents and peers were the sources of social support. Hopefully with the school year coming to a close soon, next year will be better!
-Lia
References
Rigby, K. Effects of peer victimization in schools and perceived social support on adolescent well-being. Journal of Adolescence, 23(1), 57-68. DOI: 10.1006/jado.1999.0289
Rosenfeld, L. B., Richman, J. M., & Bowen, G. L. (2000). Social Support Networks and School Outcomes: The Centrality of the Teacher. Child & Adolescent Social Work Journal, 17(3), 205-226. Retrieved from http://sk8es4mc2l.scholar.serialssolutions.com/?sid=google&auinit=LB&aulast=Rosenfeld&atitle=Social+support+networks+and+school+outcomes:+The+centrality+of+the+teacher&id=doi:10.1023/A:1007535930286&title=Child+%26+adolescent+social+work+journal&volume=17&issue=3&date=2000&spage=205&issn=0738-0151