One Is The Loneliest Number

According to (Schneider et al, 2012) there are four attachments that adults can have which are secure, preoccupied,fearful, and dismissing. At some point each one of us has participated in one if not all of the above. As adults we are luck enough to find someone to form an attachment whether it be a romantic attachment or a friendly attachment. Even though relationships are tough it is important to form any form of attachment. It is important to form some kind of connection because I have seen people grow old alone. It is the saddest thing I have witnessed. In my field of work I have seen a lot of elderly live out there last days alone with out a friend or loved ones by their sides.

Unfortunately not everyone is meant to get married and have children in that case forming a social group is important to have something to hold on to. As adults get older they become set on there ways and become stubborn and some angry.  But the great thing of getting older is that you also become wiser and truly find what is important to you and by that you can choose individuals who share your philosophy. I have been lucky enough to this point in finding several true friends we call ourselves the wolf pack. A little immature but that how we all are we are responsible when we need to be and we become big kids when were together. All of us are between the ages of 23-26 and are going through similar situations, were finishing school we’re buying homes and progressing.

Having this bond is amazing a group of men going through similar life changing events is great because if one needs advise we’re there to assist. Either by letting them know what worked for us or just by listening. Especially when it come to talking about work. I know a lot of guys say men don’t talk well actually boys don’t talk men converse. We all live busy lives but we try to meet face to face at least once a month over a BBQ or dinner or just a drink and catch up. Forming any kind of bond is key to become a better person and have someone there if the need arises.

Schneider, F. W., Gruman, J. A., & Coutts, L. M. (Eds.). (2012). Applied Social Psychology (Second ed., pp. 351-391). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.

1 comment

  1. Hello,

    I found your post to be very interesting and relatable. I have family members who currently live alone, and not only is it sad to think about their reality of doing activities with only themselves, but it adds an extra level of stress for those around them who may be worrying about their safety or happiness. Though autonomy and individuality are important, especially each of us learning to do basic activities on our own, life can be so much more enjoyable when it is shared and connected with those we care about. Just as you mentioned, even having a group of friends (large or small), that can associate every once and awhile is a great way to grow personally and take oneself out of their troubles and try to help another. Positive well being, a term from our text, is defined as a concrete adjustment to personal life circumstances. As our existence and phases of life are impermanent, this definition is ever changing with the phase said individual is in. In your specific age demographic and case, it’s clear to see that this social group is most definitely aiding in your positive well being.

    In your case of being able to spend time with friends who are similar and familiar to you, it reminds me of the benefits discussed in physical proximity, or the proximity effect discussed in our text. This term states that the more time we are in proximity with someone for extended periods of time (for example, work environments), the higher chance we may grow to like them and appreciate their presence in our lives (Schneider et al., 2012). Because you all have similar interests (all males, working, looking to purchase homes, and so fourth) your in-group dynamic seems to have fundamentals rooting at familiarity, similarity and a general level of understanding between one another. Great post!


    Schneider, F. W., Gruman, J. A., & Coutts, L. M. (Eds.). (2012). Applied Social Psychology (Second ed., pp. 351-391). Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.

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