How long do you think love lives? One French writer called his novel, “Love Lasts Three Years”, but Is it true?
Three years usually lasts a candy stage of relations; a period of passion and love. When the heart beats more often, the future is radiant, the lovers are concentrated on each other and much is forgiven to the partner; and it seems that it should always be so. But no. The enchanting extravaganza fades away, and somewhere in the depths a spark begins to flare up a true love; but after violent passions and vivid experiences can it be very difficult to feel it. True, mature love develops and is realized gradually; and for its disclosure, the internal development of a person is necessary. Immature people often do not discover this gift in themselves. It is the mental immaturity of partners that ultimately leads the union to cataclysms.
Broken boats of love
Psychologists know that almost a third of people suffer from problems in relationships, such as distrust, suspicion, addiction, betrayal. The art of love is almost forgotten. This is the ability to accept and appreciate and consider a partner as his property, without the conditions and expectations that these relationships are forever and ever. Even those who parted with their partner are usually given a chance to meet a new suitable person. That is, never was it about one single half. However, if people didn’t “grab” their life companions with a death grip, then there would be much fewer problems in relationships, partings. Moreover, women are especially afraid of changes in their personal lives.
How to get through some of the relationship’s problems:
- Relationships in a pair – this is only a matter of two. No need to let outsiders into this space, even if they are relatives and friends. Especially if they perceive your partner negatively, and this even applies to children – tactfully, gently, but do not let the child stand between you, quarrel you.
- Discuss all the problems that arise in the family: monetary, related to relatives, ex, friends, as well as your feelings and doubts, etc.
- Try not to focus your attention on your partner’s annoying habits: eat on the go, don’t wash dishes, etc. Otherwise, the internal accumulating tension can one day explode, and starting from a trifle, turn into a grand scandal.
- None of the partners should consider their desires more important than the needs of another. Suppression, domination destroy the family. Relationships require respect.
- Show your feelings more often so that loved ones understand that you are dear. Try to avoid reproaches, claims, claims. Show your love right now – then it may be too late. And “turn off” criticism in yourself, thinking about a partner, you can always find something to complain about, only this destroys the relationship.
There are age crises of each partner when you want changes and novelty, family crises in changing circumstances (birth of a child, death of relatives, forced relocations, etc.) and crises of development of life together. At such moments, it is important to maintain the internal unity of the couple, respect and affection for each other. And do not succumb to erroneous, usually formed in childhood emotional reactions, such as: the habit of feeling sorry for oneself (usually accompanied by reproaches from others), the desire to take responsibility for malfunctions in relationships (based on guilt, for example, because of the fact that feelings have cooled), removal from a partner (due to fatigue, etc.). With the right approach, respect and appreciation, love will keep growing and you can be sure: will last very long.
Durayappah-Harrison, A. (2011, February 3). Brain Study Reveals Secrets of Staying Madly in Love. Psychology Today. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/thriving101/201102/brain-study-reveals-secrets-staying-madly-in-love
Gregoire, C. (2014, December 24). The Psychology Of Loves That Last A Lifetime. HuffPost. Retrieved from https://www.huffpost.com/entry/psychology-of-lasting-love_n_5339457
Harra, A. (2014, September 27). 7 Ways to Save a Struggling Relationship. HuffPost. Retrieved from https://www.huffpost.com/entry/love-and-relationships_b_5624213?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAAAxisiqyJcy3K-YMecXl181egMQUDKLNbvMcdXlcfZz8mJmcnLk5Pxtwxlbs5_MOSAerHZuyhBqut3aHDx2-GuPxHKy7rIhgQQplI6PpJ327CEQBu0EAglI-JiFIRFbKKgTF6ODyHfFtNk4TfZSZmWtv1SOiuVrij7QNKpl1vgHQ
Johnson, S. (2010, June 1). Can Love Last a Lifetime? Psychology Today. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hold-me-tight/201006/can-love-last-lifetime