How Long Love Lasts?

How long do you think love lives? One French writer called his novel, “Love Lasts Three Years”, but Is it true?

Three years usually lasts a candy stage of relations; a period of passion and love. When the heart beats more often, the future is radiant, the lovers are concentrated on each other and much is forgiven to the partner; and it seems that it should always be so. But no. The enchanting extravaganza fades away, and somewhere in the depths a spark begins to flare up a true love; but after violent passions and vivid experiences can it be very difficult to feel it. True, mature love develops and is realized gradually; and for its disclosure, the internal development of a person is necessary. Immature people often do not discover this gift in themselves. It is the mental immaturity of partners that ultimately leads the union to cataclysms.

Broken boats of love

Psychologists know that almost a third of people suffer from problems in relationships, such as distrust, suspicion, addiction, betrayal. The art of love is almost forgotten. This is the ability to accept and appreciate and consider a partner as his property, without the conditions and expectations that these relationships are forever and ever. Even those who parted with their partner are usually given a chance to meet a new suitable person. That is, never was it about one single half. However, if people didn’t “grab” their life companions with a death grip, then there would be much fewer problems in relationships, partings. Moreover, women are especially afraid of changes in their personal lives.

How to get through some of the relationship’s problems:

  • Relationships in a pair – this is only a matter of two. No need to let outsiders into this space, even if they are relatives and friends. Especially if they perceive your partner negatively, and this even applies to children – tactfully, gently, but do not let the child stand between you, quarrel you.
  • Discuss all the problems that arise in the family: monetary, related to relatives, ex, friends, as well as your feelings and doubts, etc.
  • Try not to focus your attention on your partner’s annoying habits: eat on the go, don’t wash dishes, etc. Otherwise, the internal accumulating tension can one day explode, and starting from a trifle, turn into a grand scandal.
  • None of the partners should consider their desires more important than the needs of another. Suppression, domination destroy the family. Relationships require respect.
  • Show your feelings more often so that loved ones understand that you are dear. Try to avoid reproaches, claims, claims. Show your love right now – then it may be too late. And “turn off” criticism in yourself, thinking about a partner, you can always find something to complain about, only this destroys the relationship.

Crisis management

There are age crises of each partner when you want changes and novelty, family crises in changing circumstances (birth of a child, death of relatives, forced relocations, etc.) and crises of development of life together. At such moments, it is important to maintain the internal unity of the couple, respect and affection for each other. And do not succumb to erroneous, usually formed in childhood emotional reactions, such as: the habit of feeling sorry for oneself (usually accompanied by reproaches from others), the desire to take responsibility for malfunctions in relationships (based on guilt, for example, because of the fact that feelings have cooled), removal from a partner (due to fatigue, etc.). With the right approach, respect and appreciation, love will keep growing and you can be sure: will last very long.



Durayappah-Harrison, A. (2011, February 3). Brain Study Reveals Secrets of Staying Madly in Love. Psychology Today. Retrieved from

Gregoire, C. (2014, December 24). The Psychology Of Loves That Last A Lifetime. HuffPost. Retrieved from

Harra, A. (2014, September 27). 7 Ways to Save a Struggling Relationship. HuffPost. Retrieved from

Johnson, S. (2010, June 1). Can Love Last a Lifetime? Psychology Today. Retrieved from

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1 comment

  1. It is interesting you wrote about long lasting love when I just celebrated my 7 year anniversary. What I find most interesting is that in today’s society, millenials are less likely to get married soon and are actually staying married longer which in turn has led to a decrease in the divorce rate according to Insider (2019). A problem I find often in a lot of relationships is that people seek validation in each other instead of seeking it in themselves so it can lead to arguments and dysfunctional relationships when a person constantly needs reassurance from the other partner. The strength of relationships are also influenced by how the country’s economy and politics are doing at the time. During the Great Depression, couples had to stay together to survive so divorce rates plummeted. However the divorce rate was high during the 60’s and 70’s when women were seeking independence and suffrage. But I can say that from my years of marriage and from years of experience in dating that communication, respect, and finances (mostly for married couples) are a big determinant of how successful a relationship will last.

    Olito, F. (2019, January 30). How the divorce rate has changed over the last 150 years. Retrieved from

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