“It must be nice to sit at home all day and spend your spouse’s money.” One of the many stigmas surrounding housewives is that they stay home and spend too much money. If you’ve never been a housewife or had a housewife, you may not actually understand the inner workings of what happens day to day. Not all housewives have children, but that’s a common reason women choose to stay home and assume the role. It does come with a significant responsibility and high rate of burnout.
It is always a blessing when you can spend time with your children. However, it’s not exactly a luxury that every woman chooses to take on. As it turns out, housewives are extremely stressed and may actually be more at risk for mental illness than those working outside the home. As someone who has both worked outside the home and stayed home with my child, I can say each lifestyle has their own struggles. Sadly, housewives tend to get overlooked as making the “easier” life choice.
Reports have shown that housewives are experiencing higher levels of stress and burnout than those working outside the home (Durak, Senol-Durak, & Karakose, 2022). They also report lower quality of life and less satisfaction. Take into account the things these women are facing each and every day. They wake up, take care of traditional chores like laundry and dishes, make sure the kids are fed and happy, fix all meals, sleep, and repeat. Day after day. It can almost feel like the movie Groundhog Day.
So how can you help? You can start by making sure there are good coping strategies in place. Managing everything alone can be overwhelming, so housewives need healthy ways to cope. Talk with the person and see what they do to combat daily stressors and maybe come up with a gameplan that works for them. The textbook talks about to general approaches to coping. Problem-focused coping is tackling the problem head-on, so it doesn’t continue to affect you. Emotion-focused coping is centered around emotion regulation.
Social support will also play a big role. You may have heard “it takes a village” and that is totally true. You cannot get through life all on your own. You need people to lean on during good and bad times. Having a good support system is key. Having friends to talk to, family to help out, and people to network with. Being a housewife isn’t for the faint of heart and can feel extremely lonely.
If you have a housewife or know a housewife, take some time to check in and see how they’re doing. Ask if you can help out in any way. Provide them a break from the mundane routine. If you are a housewife, reach out and make connections. Tons of people support this amazing lifestyle and don’t want to see you struggling. You are NEVER alone.
References:
Durak, M., Senol-Durak, E., & Karakose, S. (2022). Psychological distress and anxiety among housewives: The mediational role of perceived stress, loneliness, and housewife burnout. Current Psychology: A Journal for Diverse Perspectives on Diverse Psychological Issues, http://dx.doi.org/10.1007/s12144-021-02636-0
Gruman, J.A., Schneider, F.W., & Coutts, L.A. (2017). Applied Social Psychology: Understanding and Addressing Social and Practical Problems. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.
Tags: burnout, coping, housewife, social support, stress
Life is hard, jobs are hard, and responsibilities are hard. It doesn’t matter which set of responsibilities a person decides to shoulder; they’re going to have to work. The view that life as a housewife is easy results in a lot of negative outcomes. Some people undervalue housework. Others think becoming a housewife will be preferable to working and paying bills.
Knowing that life as a housewife is tough, what should we do? An understanding of stress should be a key component of offering support to housewives. One theory about stress in the work of Lazarus and others posits that frequent, minor annoyances generate cumulative stress (Gruman, et al., 2016) They developed a scale (Hassle’s Scale) which measured the connection between cumulative stress and psychological outcomes (Gruman, et al., 2016). They found a significant link between minor, cumulative stressful events and negative mental health outcomes.
Major life events can certainly be stressful, but it seems that the type of stress a housewife endures is the frequent and repetitive type. The stress of a routine workload in a close environment can drive just about anyone mad. It also means that, since the home is where all the work takes place, that a housewife never gets to leave her job behind and go home.
Overall, the stress of being a housewife is not something that should be dismissed. It is a tough job, and a lot of responsibility.
Gruman, J. A., Schneider, F. W., & Coutts, L. M. (2016). Applied Social Psychology: Understanding and Addressing Social and Practical Problems (3rd Edition). SAGE Publications, Inc. (US). https://mbsdirect.vitalsource.com/books/9781506353951
Really enjoyed reading your post. I am not a housewife, but some of my close family members and friends choose to be. They are not just women who choose this field, but its also stay at home dad’s. I do see the ins and outs of how they deal with the work load and they never get a time alone. Like people who have jobs at the end of their shift they can go home and not think about work. However, this is not the case for housewives or stay at home dad’s. We don’t realize how important and vital a parent who is there for their child as they grow up or all the things a housewife does. They cant leave it behind and go home.
I do think that coping how to deal with the situation is vital so it doesn’t cause depression in some people. Talking to friends or having a network of friends to talk about other interests and things help. I do also think that their partners understand that its not easy and talk to them and do other activities to show support. Emotional loneliness is something my friend dealt with. “Loneliness can sometimes be a stepping-stone to depression,” is exactly what happened to my friend (Gruman, 143). She eventually got help, but is there anything else to prevent emotional loneliness?
How come there is not a bigger awareness? Just some things that make me wonder that housewives have an important job in raising the children and ensure a safe and healthy environment and we don’t look into their situations more. I do think that discussion it is a start.
Thanks
Reference
Gruman, J.A., Schneider, F.W., & Coutts, L.A. (2017). Applied Social Psychology: Understanding and Addressing Social and Practical Problems. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.