First, I’d like to discuss how social media has affected my romantic relationships and my relationship with myself. Social media, specifically Instagram in my case, has opened me up to sharing and viewing other people’s lives since I started an account in 2012 when I was about 14. I was always interested in following my friends, and high school crushes or boyfriends on Instagram. I would post pictures of myself with my friends and boyfriend/eventually a few different boyfriends throughout high school.
Social media started to have an impact on my self-esteem and security in my relationships shortly after creating an account. I was constantly worried about how I looked compared to other girls my boyfriend/s might have been looking at online. I wanted my relationship to appear well online so other people could see I was “happily taken”. This theme has become less of an issue for me as I have matured into adulthood, but I still struggle with comparison sometimes and can admit I have checked my partner’s phone before even though I consider this a breach of trust.
The article I found is a review from Pew Research Center that discusses a topic from our lesson this week, dating and social media. In this study, “adult users under the age of 30, those shares who have used social media to checked-up on a former partner (70%) or posted about their own love life (48%) are even higher.” and ” 23% say they have felt jealous or unsure of their relationship because of the way their current partner interacts with others on these sites, and this share rises to 34% among those ages 18 to 29.” (Vogels, 2020) These statistics came from a survey conducted in 2019 including over 4,800 adult participants.
In general, the amount of time their partners spend on their cellphones was also a topic brought up in this study that relates to our lesson. Our lesson discusses how cell phones have made us feel less alone, but also feel that we’re always on call. The results of the survey from Pew Research Center can coroborate the notion that we are attached to our mobile devices and that this can sometimes bother our partners; “Four-in-ten partnered Americans say they are at least sometimes bothered by how much time their partner spends on their cellphone.” (Vogels,2020)
It seems as though cell phones and social media always being available to us can sometimes be a helpful thing, but can also be a hinderance in some relationships. But, like the article mentioned in our lesson that stated online dating services are responsible for 1 in 6 marriages,(Chadwick Martin-Bailey, 2010) social media clearly gives us the opportunity to find love and connection which is a great thing. I too found love using an online dating service, and now I’m getting married in May, and I have cell phones and social media to thank for that.
Chadwick Martin-Bailey. (2010). The Evolution of Dating: Match.com and Chadwick Martin Bailey Behavioral Studies Uncover a Fundamental Shift.
Vogels, E. A., & Anderson, M. (2021, June 5). Dating and relationships in the Digital age. Pew Research Center: Internet, Science & Tech. Retrieved March 15, 2022, from https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2020/05/08/dating-and-relationships-in-the-digital-age/
Completely agree that in the modern age of being interconnected as much as we are can be a double edged sword. Below study shows the negative, positive and indifferent results from use of social media. On one letter you would think there is no difference considering long distance relationships have existed seemingly forever. If anything the ability to communicate quickly should make them easier. However the study I reference shows negative satisfaction in the relationship if social media usage is high. Interesting points all around to think about.
Reference: https://cyberpsychology.eu/article/view/12441
This is an extremely interesting topic for me in many ways. I think interpersonal relationships are so interesting especially as they become more and more intricate and intimate. I think that social media has become an intricate part of our relationships and even our self-confidence/esteem. Your statistics support that fact.
It is not uncommon to hear stories about people in romantic relationships complain because their partner doesn’t post them enough, they like certain pictures, follow certain people, etc. Then there is the “40% of partnered adults say they are bothered by the amount of time their partner spends on their cellphone” (Pew Research Center, 2020). Sometimes it is almost like “damned if you do, damned if you don’t.” Everyone seems to have different outlooks on things like this too – some don’t care when some do. I think that is why when you are getting to know someone with the intent to become an intimate or romantic relationship, it is important to have conversations about what you like or don’t like when it comes to social media.
https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2020/05/08/dating-and-relationships-in-the-digital-age/pi_2020-05-08_dating-digital-age_00-03/