Many people struggle with jealousy and the urge to compare themselves to others at various stages of their lives. These reactions happen quickly and strongly because emotions can take over before we have time to think. When people are jealous, they often jump to conclusions, think the worst, or do things without taking the time to find out what’s really going on. Even when nothing bad is going on, this rush of feelings can cause problems in relationships.
In romantic relationships, it’s common for jealousy to arise when one partner notices the other interacting with someone else or receiving attention on social media. First, we feel something emotionally, and then we tend to think about it logically afterward. This is why misunderstandings can get out of hand so quickly. A short moment, like a friend laughing at a joke, can suddenly feel scary. If someone responds too quickly, it can make communication harder and hurt the relationship, even if nothing really went wrong.
Comparison is really important in shaping how people view their relationships and their own self-worth. The article by Tsatiris (2025) discusses how comparison often centers on individuals who appear more successful or attractive, leading to feelings of inadequacy. This is really amped up by social media these days. We don’t just compare ourselves to our classmates or close friends anymore. Now we look at ourselves in relation to celebrities, influencers, models, and individuals from around the globe. This means looking at different people’s bodies, lifestyles, achievements, trips, friendships, and all the little things that connect them. People often compare themselves to standards that aren’t realistic because a lot of content is edited or made to look better than it really is. Many people have a different persona online, which some may not understand. Not everyone is going to post their worst days; they want to show people the highlights of their lives. Such as today, we see people on TikTok and Instagram posting lavish lifestyles, but TikTok has also become a platform where people feel comfortable being themselves and talking about their issues and bad days. This comparison can affect mental health and lead individuals to feel less confident, particularly regarding their bodies or their achievements. These insecurities might affect relationships and can complicate trust or communication.
One thing that can really help with feeling jealous or comparing myself to others is just taking a moment to pause before I react. When people take a moment to stop and let their feelings cool down, they can better understand what’s going on and say what they want to say in a calmer way. Tsatiris (2025) says that we should really think about the stories we tell ourselves about our lives in relation to other people, because these stories are often based on assumptions instead of real facts. Setting limits on social media can help a lot by keeping us from seeing unrealistic pictures and always feeling like we have to compare ourselves to others.
It’s normal to feel jealous and compare yourself to others, but these feelings can hurt relationships if they aren’t dealt with. Understanding how quickly emotions can take over and recognizing the pressure that social media creates makes it easier to protect our mental health and our connections with others. By taking a moment to pause, engaging in open dialogue, and recognizing that digital narratives often omit crucial details, we foster deeper and more meaningful connections.
References
PSYCH 424: Applied Social Psychology, Relationships and Everyday Life.
Tsatiris, D. (2025, July 12). Stop comparing yourself to others. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/anxiety-in-high-achievers/202507/stop-comparing-yourself-to-others
Hi Lucy! I really enjoyed your post. I think you made a great point on how emotions normally come first and logic second especially in intense moments in a relationship. I think especially in this day and age social media is a huge issue and can make feelings of jealousy much more intense. Communication skills and taking time to think before you speak is one of the most important things for a successful relationship in my opinion. I found an interesting article pertaining to your topic titled When Social Media is hurting your relationship that discusses this issue. It states how jealousy can be fueled by social media and then impact mental health making it a dangerous cycle that can ruin relationships (Kuchenna, 2021). It’s interesting on how much outside sources can affect relatonships.
References
kuchenna, S. (2021, July 19). When Social Media is hurting Your Relationship Psychotherapy Kuchenna. Psychotherapy Kuchenna. https://www.psychotherapykuchenna.com/2021/07/19/when-social-media-is-hurting-your-relationship/
I really connected with what you wrote about how quickly jealousy and comparison can take over. I’ve definitely had moments where I reacted emotionally first and only later realized I misunderstood the situation. When you mentioned how something as harmless as someone laughing at a joke can suddenly feel threatening, that really stood out to me. That felt so true to the idea of hot cognition from the lesson, where our emotions jump ahead before we have the chance to think things through.
Your discussion about social media also felt very accurate. It really is overwhelming to constantly see people’s highlights online and then compare ourselves without even meaning to. I’ve caught myself doing this too, especially on Instagram. What you said reminded me of a classic point from Festinger’s social comparison theory, which explains that we tend to compare ourselves to people who seem “better off,” and this can increase feelings of inadequacy (Festinger, 1954). Your example about influencers editing their photos or only showing perfect moments is a great reminder that we are often comparing ourselves to something that isn’t even real.
I really liked that you mentioned taking a moment to pause before reacting. I have experienced situations where a few seconds of breathing or stepping away would have saved me a lot of unnecessary stress. The lesson mentioned that when we allow some time for our emotions to settle, our thinking becomes clearer and conversations go much more smoothly. I think this strategy is especially important in relationships, because reacting too quickly can cause misunderstandings that didn’t need to happen.
One idea that came to mind while reading your post is how much it helps to intentionally shape our online environment. For example, I have started unfollowing accounts that make me feel insecure and following more creators who focus on authenticity or self-acceptance. This small change actually made my time online feel healthier. There is also research showing that practicing self-compassion can buffer the negative effects of comparison and help people feel more secure in themselves and in their relationships (Neff & Germer, 2017). That idea fits really well with the message in your post about protecting your mental and emotional wellbeing.
Overall, I thought your reflections were meaningful and very relatable. You explained both jealousy and comparison in a way that felt real, and you tied everything together with helpful strategies from the readings. I enjoyed reading your post.
Reference
Festinger, L. (1954). A theory of social comparison processes. Human Relations, 7(2), 117–140.
Neff, K. D., & Germer, C. (2017). Self-compassion and psychological well-being. Oxford Handbook of Compassion Science, 371–386.