Once again, I bring you guys something that may make you stay awake tonight. This week’s post is what you get when you cross an ad for chocolate with Humpty-Dumpty, and then breed it with insanity incarnate. Watch it now:

Okay, so, like last week, let’s begin by discussing what it’s supposed to be. Well, it’s supposed to be an ad for the Kinder Surprise, a chocolate egg with a toy in it. That’s simple enough. We see ads for chocolate all the time. Just turn on your TV, and I almost guarantee, that within one hour, maybe two at the most, you’ll have seen an ad for chocolate. Most of them involve pouring chocolate, and people slowly taking bites out of their tasty treat, but where those are stupid, this is disturbing. Now, let’s look at the commercial itself.

So, the commercial opens into a field full of trees, and in this field, sits is a wall. On this particular wall, however, sits Humpty-Dumpty. Okay, so, it’s Humpty-Dumpty sitting on a wall. Not too bad so far, right? Then, it zooms in. That’s not Humpty-Dumpty. That’s an egg wrapped in skin, with a smile that will make you jump out of yours. This…thing then proceeds to spout gibberish into your face in its mechanical, serial killer voice. As to what its saying right now, nobody knows. It’s probably telling you how it’s going to take your soul, and put it in a little chocolate egg. So, at this point, having just unwrapped it’s chocolate egg, you might think this egg thing is creepy, but not exactly scary or anything. Just at this point, things start to go from creepy, to downright traumatizing. At about eight seconds into the ad, this thing goes insane.

There are not too many ways to put what happens next. The thing just starts screaming. First, it starts yelling at you about a toy, and then it really goes crazy. It starts waving its arms, picking up toy planes, and just generally being insane. Then, it calms down just a little, looks at you as its mind visibly snaps, and points in your direction like its giving a warning, which it accentuates with yet more of its evil gibberish. Then, it just kind of gives up on life, and with a final “rocko”, it dives backwards over the wall, presumably to its death. You just watched the final ravings of some mad, skin wrapped egg, only to have it commit suicide before your eyes. How do you feel?

While this is disturbing and everything, to me, the creepiest part, is the fact that you don’t hear the body hit the ground. What do I mean? I mean that this thing is out there somewhere. If you stop what you’re doing, just for a second, you might be able to feel its insane, labored breathing on the back of your neck.

I think we can all agree that this ad is really, really, creepy. Next week, I’ll take a break from these traumatizing ads and put something funny up here. Comment on your thoughts. Thanks!

By the way, just as a heads up, use headphones when viewing these ads. Let’s not disturb anyone else in the room while looking at strange ads.