Key: Italics are delivery notes to myself, while anything written normally are actually a part of my speech. Also, I changed my first lens from rhetorical situation to visual criticism lol. So now my lenses are visual criticism and the trust lens.
Intro:
A. I believe that we will win!
For this to be a good attention getter I need to be loud.
How does that phrase make you feel? What memories are tied to these words.
Feelings of triumph, of pride, inspiration. These are all things that any athlete, or even any spectator, can relate to.
B. When you hear that chant, no one stops to ask, “men’s or women’s?”
So why is that such a distinction in today’s athletics? Pause.
In 2019, the National Women’s Soccer Team released an ad titled “Never Stop Winning,” utilizing the “I believe that we will win” chant to address this exact (emphasize this word) issue within their everyday experiences as a successful female team.
C. The “Never Stop Winning” ad aims to provoke questions of equality within sports and the everyday work force for women.
D. In the rest of my speech, our main focus will be on how the equal pay gap was addressed on and off field as well as how the ad calls for opportunities to be given to girls and (emphasize) boys through equality.
Claim 1: the women’s soccer team uses their continuous pattern of success to reason that men’s and women’s sports should not be spoken about unequally.
- the narrator of the video lists off a continuous line of accomplishments that she then ends with “we will keep winning until we not only become just the best female soccer team, but the best soccer team in the world.”
- Notice how she drops the “female” in best team in the world. Women’s accomplishments in sports are always stated with their sex. “Best female soccer player, first female basketball player to score so many shots” and so on, however (pause). Many of men’s accomplishments are labeled just greatest player of all time. There is never a distinction with male players, as if they are the baseline, the standard. Highlighting that type of language after listing all the soccer team’s accomplishments truly makes the audience feel how absurd it is that only one side of the sports world is supposed to designate their sex when showing their accomplishments, and how it diminishes women’s success compared to men’s.
I think your outline was very straightforward and easy to understand. I think you missed including the second claim, but your first claim did a great job of introducing your speech. I was confused in 1. of claim 1 where you said, “The narrator of the video lists off a continuous line of accomplishments that she then ends with ‘we will keep winning until we not only become…'”. I think there should be another word after she and before then. I love how you highlighted that female accomplishments are usually gender specific. I think this ad does a great job of addressing that problem.
You are doing a great job with writing for the ear; I can imagine your speech and how you are emphasizing certain words while reading your outline. Just make sure that you do not miss the second claim, evidence, and reasoning to complete the first set of arguments, as Ali pointed out in her comment as well. Though I am sure that you will have no problem with those because your first claim is well supported by the evidence and reasoning. I especially identified with your reasoning and how you extended upon the list of accomplishments having another added layer of inequality with the emphasis on a “female” accomplishment as opposed to just an accomplishment made by a male.