My high school had a dress code. It wasn’t well enforced, and when I was a senior, it had been changed so it didn’t target girls quite so much. The highlights of this dress code are standard; shorts can’t be too short, no bare midriffs, no exposed underwear, no tank tops, etc. Most schools around the country have similar dress codes. I was lucky, I suppose, in that this wasn’t really enforced. I’m a tall girl. Companies don’t really make comfortable shorts that are accepted by the general rule of fingertips – if your fingers go below your shorts, they’re too short.

While not the exact dress code that I had in high school, it’s similar. Most schools have equally similar, though some are considerably more detailed and strict. Photo courtesy of schools.graniteschools.org

Girls had all kinds of ways to get around being caught for dress code violations. If you walk by a teacher, keep your elbows and your hands well away from your hems. Scrunch your shoulders together and use your hair as a way to hide your bare shoulders. There were tons of tricks and tips meant to avoid dress code violations. I was most commonly caught out for the no hats rules, especially as a senior because that’s when I decided that if the boys can wear their ball caps then so can I. The closest I came to getting an actual violation was when I was hiding a truly terrible mess of hair under a beanie and my chemistry teacher told me to take it off. I refused and she threatened me with a violation. I stood my ground and got away with it because she decided I was too much trouble.

I was never at risk because I typically stuck to hoodies, tshirts, and jeans. My style of clothing is comfortable and warm. Some friends of mine, however, were much more feminine in how they dressed. They got dress coded all the time. Sometimes it was for the length of their dress, skirt, or shorts. Other times because you could see their bra straps. I never once heard of a boy being dress coded for exposed underwear, that part of the dress code was only ever applied to girls.

Plenty of similar side by side images have gone viral as schools are blasted with criticism following what appears to be unjust punishment for dress code violations. Many will feature a before photo of the outfit with an after photo displaying what school administrators made the girl in question change into. Photo courtesy of @emilylacerra

Again, my high school was relatively lax about the dress code. However, that’s not the norm. With the increased scrutiny offered by social media, it has become incredibly common to see strict enforcement on dress codes on girls. The obvious disparity in enforcement, and the most cited cause for enforcement, unfairly places the burden of self governing on teenage girls. They are being told that their bodies are something to be ashamed of and that it is their responsibility to protect themselves from boys. Additionally, the dress code enforcement restricts identity expression amongst a group of highly questioning people thus stunting their ability to explore their potential identities as transgender or nonbinary individuals.

We know, as a society, that dress codes are unfair from their purpose (reduce distractions for boys), their actual content (largely aimed at what girls wear), and their enforcement (concentrated on girls). Just as dress codes teach girls to be ashamed of their bodies, dress codes teach boys that they are not responsible for their actions. It’s not their fault if they get distracted by a girl’s shoulder, or her collarbone, or her breasts – it’s her fault for tempting them. It’s her fault for being in the same room as them. It’s her fault if they can’t resist the temptation to touch her.

This lack of responsibility for their actions, in conjunction with placing the blame of attraction on women, is what ultimately teaches boys that it’s the woman’s fault if she is assaulted or raped because if she didn’t want to draw attention, it was her responsibility to cover up. Is that all attributed to dress codes? No, of course not. However, dress codes and their strict enforcement remove the possibility that boys’ will learn how to function in society with women around. When they are being told that their education is more important than girls’ and that it’s not their fault that they’re being creepy weirdos by staring down a girl’s shirt, it takes away their ability to grow as people.

They aren’t learning that there are consequences for distraction in life. They aren’t learning that women are not props their lives, or that women are not simply objects to be looked at. Dress codes teach boys that they don’t have to curb their attraction to women in order to operate normally as human beings. Dress codes teach boys that girl’s are there to be looked at, and that it’s the girl’s job to prevent being looked at.

These kids protest their own unfair dress codes in the face of hot weather. This is in sharp contrast to how girls’ have to protest because they’re being slut-shamed when wearing clothing like jeans and sweatshirts. The pictured boys’ administrators seemed open to taking advice from their students (and students’ parents) about potential changes to the dress code. Photo courtesy of @SimonHallNews

Boys should be taught that women are more than objects. They should be taught that it’s not okay to ogle women instead of doing work. The burden of self-policing should be on the boys, instead of on girls. All the girls do is exist; it’s not their fault if people look at them while they go about their lives.

And if dress codes are really necessary, enforce them equally. No one wants to see whatever weird boxers dudes have hanging out of the back of their pants.