Essay Draft:
Johnny and Lisa were friends and liked to share their toys with each other, but one day Johnny got selfish and decided to take all of Lisa’s toys as his own. Some time passed, and Johnny decided to give Lisa her toys back, but he still got to use them whenever he wanted whether she liked it or not. Even more time has passed now, and Johnny claims to have given them back, but Lisa is still wondering whether her toys will ever truly be her own. This situation presents the same moral issues as the relationship between Europe and Africa. From the trans-Atlantic Slave Trade that continued through colonization in the 19th and 20th centuries, to the well-hidden ploy of Neo-Colonialism that exists today, African resources have been exploited by Western nations throughout history.
There are two civic artifacts that do a great job of addressing this issue. One, titled “Gold diggers” depicts how the material resources from Africa (gold, oil, cacao, fish, rare minerals, etc.) end up piled on the continents of North America and Europe. The other, which I’ll refer to as “The Resource Curse” illustrates the relationship between Western corporations and African people, where the Westerners “rejoice” over finding oil in Turkana, Kenya, but the citizens of the Turkana tribe are more concerned simply with finding clean water. I will use strategies of Ideological criticism, unpacking the commonplaces apparent in the artifacts, and the misrepresentation of progress in global media to examine this issue. Ultimately, both artifacts use visual rhetoric to communicate our civic duty to learn about neo-colonialism and attack the ongoing exploitation of Africa. If we address African exploitation carefully and collaboratively, we can work as a global community to repatriate the wealth of Africa, finally giving Lisa her toys back.
The rhetorical situation behind “Gold Diggers” is that most of Africa’s resources, worth trillions of dollars, still end up being exported to wealthy nations all over Europe, Asia, and North America, while many African people experience extreme poverty, hunger, limited access to clean water, and governmental corruption. This exploitation of African resources goes back to the 15th century, when the Portuguese began trading with West African merchants for gold and other commodities, including human captives. The ideological criticism in “Gold Diggers” here is the impact of this exploitation. As shown in the image, the gold from Africa physically ended up on the continents of Europe and, subsequently, America as well. Due to this, Africa is left barren, with only a little gold left. Though this civic artifact doesn’t depict any human individuals, you can see from looking at it the inequalities that have been created between the continents.
“The Resource Curse” also employs heavy ideological criticism in its visual rhetoric. In the image, the Europeans are all making expressions of joy and excitement, with heightened poses and wide cartoony smiles, while the Africans stand straight-faced and unenthused. This presents the ideology that the Westerners are more concerned with the monetary implication of new resources than the Africans’ plight. The physical difference between the thick and full-bodied Westerners and the thin, exasperated-looking Africans also suggests a gap in access to nutrition, another ideological criticism to the rhetorical situation. More visual commentary is found in the depiction of a few westerners who aren’t humanoid, like the pig-person and other people with animal heads to the left. This represents the animalistic greed of those who try to exploit others’ resources. The text, reading “Rejoice, we have discovered oil”, in which an African woman responds, “And when will you discover water…?” shows the misalignment between the two peoples’ values, which, similarly to “Gold Diggers”, emphasizes the inequality that lies between the two groups of people.
“Gold Diggers” also plays on a few commonplaces that we in the western world take for granted. One such commonplace is the association of Africa as a country and not as a continent full of nations. I vividly recall a moment in my childhood where our social studies teacher had to inform us that Africa was in fact a continent, just like Europe, Asia, or North America. Since the artifact has the entire continent voided out, it plays on our comfortability with grouping it all together, even though gold only comes from select places. It also uses the western commonplace that money=power. If the coins in the artifact represent gold, or currency, then the entirety of African resources adopt Western monetary value. It’s not just gold that gets exported from Africa, but also other rare minerals, oil, gas, cacao, coffee, raw food products, and much else. All these things were given monetary value by the Western world to trade them. Since it all ends up in the west, they have the monetary power in this situation.
The commonplace found in “The Resource Curse” is a very common and damaging one. It’s very likely that everyone who grew up in America has heard the phrase “There are starving children in Africa” before. This commonplace is especially harmful, not only because it’s not entirely true, but also because it teaches us to be comfortable with this fact rather than trying to do something about it. If we just take “there are starving children in Africa” as an unconditional truth, we will never stop and think about why this may be. The truth would connect back to the rhetorical situation of “Gold Diggers” and the exploitation of African resources, but since the Western world doesn’t benefit from a common knowledge of that inequity, it’s never a part of our education to learn about it. If the narrative was changed from “starving children” to “African people don’t have control over their own resources”, then maybe there would be more global effort for change.
A final lens that can be used to analyze both artifacts is the misrepresentation of progress in global media. Investigative journalist Tom Burgis claims in his book The Looting Machine that Africa is: “the continent that is at once the world’s poorest and, arguably, its richest” (CNN). In terms of monetary value of resources, no continent has Africa beat, and yet many countries in Africa have some of the highest poverty rates in the world. One aspect of the rhetorical situation that neither artifact touches on is the corruption present in certain governments of Africa. According to a survey by Transparency International, people in countries like South Africa, Ghana, and Nigeria reported increased corruption in 2015 (Transparency.org). This is important in analysis of the two civic artifacts, as the governmental corruption is directly tied to the exploitation of political power and resources that the Europeans left behind in Africa, as depicted in the artifacts. “Gold Diggers” depicts the economic results of colonial exploitation, and “The Resource Curse” shows the ways in which neo-colonialism still plagues the African people. All of this is misrepresented in the media because the Western world is taught that colonialism is long dead and gone.
The exploitation of African resources addresses the SDGs of reduced inequalities, no poverty, zero hunger, good health and well-being, decent work/economic growth, and peace, justice, and strong institutions. The civic artifacts “Gold Diggers” and “The Resource Curse” use many different rhetorical methods of communicating the issue at hand, but there is still much of the rhetorical situation that they are unable to cover. As civic artifacts, they are educating us so that we may gain a better understanding of the issue and possibly make more efforts to address it. The less we think about it as an African problem and rather as a global problem, we can work towards restoring wealth and resources to the people of Africa.
Resource curse:
Transparency International 2015
https://www.transparency.org/en/gcb/africa/africa-9th-edition
CNN 2018
https://www.cnn.com/2016/04/18/africa/looting-machine-tom-burgis-africa/index.html
Speech Outline:
- Johnny and Lisa were friends and liked to share their toys with each other, but one day Johnny got selfish and decided to take all of Lisa’s toys as his own. Some time passed, and Johnny decided to give Lisa her toys back, but he still got to use them whenever he wanted whether she liked it or not. Even more time has passed now, and Johnny claims to have given them back, but Lisa is still wondering whether her toys will ever truly be her own. This situation presents the same moral issues as the relationship between Europe and Africa. From the trans-Atlantic Slave Trade that continued through colonization in the 19th and 20th centuries, to the well-hidden ploy of Neo-Colonialism that exists today, African resources have been exploited by Western nations throughout history.
- “Gold diggers” depicts how the material resources from Africa (gold, oil, cacao, fish, rare minerals, etc.) end up piled on the continents of North America and Europe.
- I will examine this issue through the lenses of Ideological criticism, the commonplaces apparent in the artifact, and the misrepresentation of progress in global media.
Ideological criticism:
- The rhetorical situation behind “Gold Diggers” is that most of Africa’s resources, worth trillions of dollars, still end up being exported to wealthy nations all over Europe, Asia, and North America, while many African people experience:
- extreme poverty
- hunger
- limited access to clean water
- governmental corruption.
- The ideological criticism in “Gold Diggers” here is the impact of this exploitation.
- As shown in the image, the gold from Africa physically ended up on the continents of Europe and, subsequently, America as well. Due to this, Africa is left barren, with only a little gold left.
Commonplaces:
- “Gold Diggers” plays on a few commonplaces that we in the western world take for granted.
- the association of Africa as a country and not as a continent full of nations. I vividly recall a moment in my childhood where our social studies teacher had to inform us that Africa was in fact a continent, just like Europe, Asia, or North America.
- Since the artifact has the entire continent voided out, it plays on our comfortability with grouping it all together, even though gold only comes from select places.
- It also uses the western commonplace that money=power. If the coins in the artifact represent gold, or currency, then the entirety of African resources adopt Western monetary value.
- It’s not just gold that gets exported from Africa, but also other rare minerals, oil, gas, cacao, coffee, raw food products, and much else.
- All these things were given monetary value by the Western world to trade them. Since it all ends up in the west, they have the monetary power in this situation.
Misrepresentation of progress:
- Investigative journalist Tom Burgis claims in his book The Looting Machine that Africa is: “the continent that is at once the world’s poorest and, arguably, its richest” (CNN).
- In terms of monetary value of resources, no continent has Africa beat, and yet many countries in Africa have some of the highest poverty rates in the world.
- According to a survey by Transparency International, people in countries like South Africa, Ghana, and Nigeria reported increased corruption in 2015 (Transparency.org).
- Governmental corruption is directly tied to the connection between political power and resources that the Europeans left behind in Africa, as can be inferred from the artifact.
- “Gold Diggers” depicts the economic results of colonial exploitation
- All of this is misrepresented in the media because the Western world is taught that colonialism is long dead and gone.
SDG’s:
- Reduced inequalities among nations
- Europe > Africa
- no poverty
- zero hunger
- good health and well-being
- decent work/economic growth
- peace, justice, and strong institutions
That’s it!
~Asim
Hi commenters!
Here you’ll see my draft essay and speech outline, but I’d prefer if you just focus on comments for the essay, as the speech is still rough around the edges. I’d appreciate if you let me know if the points I’m making make sense, and also if you feel like I’m accurately analyzing the artifacts
1. Identify the writer’s main claim about the rhetoric, ideology, lenses of analysis, or and subtext of the piece.
The main claim is that “Ultimately, both artifacts use visual rhetoric to communicate our civic duty to learn about neo-colonialism and attack the ongoing exploitation of Africa.”
2. Identify and comment on the writer’s introduction or “way in” for this piece of rhetoric. Name one thing that might be added, deleted, changed, or moved.
In your introduction I liked how you have a hook with the short story to draw the reader in. On thing I would maybe change is this sentence as I feel like you could show not tell “There are two civic artifacts that do a great job of addressing this issue.”
3. Warning flags: check any of the following predominant themes this paper contains that might suggest a weak introduction or thesis:
You did a good job in this category I did not see any of the sue of the phrases which indicate weak introductions.
4. Find a strong analytical topic sentence and a weak one. Explain why you have identified them as such.
The weak topic sentence would be “A final lens that can be used to analyze both artifacts is the misrepresentation of progress in global media,” as you could maybe not say lens and use a different word or just delete it fully. One good topic sentence was ““The Resource Curse” also employs heavy ideological criticism in its visual rhetoric,” as it accurately speaks on what is in the paragraph relating it back to your thesis as well.
5. Comment on the organization of the piece. What other possible arrangement strategies might make more of the material and develop arguments more fully? How well is the second comparative piece of rhetoric incorporated?
I liked your overall organization as it flows well and it was easy to follow. I would just work on the transitions from one paragraph to another as they are a little bland compared to your body of your paragraphs.
6. You wanted to read more about….
I would want to read more about how civic action can be used to combats this and solve this problem of inequality.
Hi Asim, I understand you wanted commentary about your speech but I’m writing this after the due date for your speech so it will not be helpful. Although I do want to say you did a good job and it all flows well.
1) ”
Ultimately, both artifacts use visual rhetoric to communicate our civic duty to learn about neo-colonialism and attack the ongoing exploitation of Africa”
2) I think your introduction is very creative in the way you created an analogy for your social problem. I do wish that you had mentioned your artifacts or lenses earlier to make very clear what will follow in the rest of your speech.
3) “There are two civic artifacts that do a great job” is one of the warning flags she advised against
4) Strong topic sentence: The rhetorical situation behind “Gold Diggers” is that most of Africa’s resources, worth trillions of dollars, still end up being exported to wealthy nations all over Europe, Asia, and North America, while many African people experience extreme poverty, hunger, limited access to clean water, and governmental corruption.
“Weak” topic sentence: “The commonplace found in “The Resource Curse” is a very common and damaging one” This could be improved by explicitly stating the commonplace in the topic sentence rather than the sentence following.
5) The pieces are incorporated well and thoroughly explained.
6) I think all points are concise and easily understandable. There is not much I would want for further expansion on your topics.
1)Ultimately, both artifacts use visual rhetoric to communicate our civic duty to learn about neo-colonialism and attack the ongoing exploitation of Africa
2) I think your introduction is very creative in the way you created an analogy for your social problem. I do wish that you had mentioned your artifacts or lenses earlier to make very clear what will follow in the rest of your speech.
3)“There are two civic artifacts that do a great job” is one of the warning flags she advised against
4) Strong topic sentence: The rhetorical situation behind “Gold Diggers” is that most of Africa’s resources, worth trillions of dollars, still end up being exported to wealthy nations all over Europe, Asia, and North America, while many African people experience extreme poverty, hunger, limited access to clean water, and governmental corruption.
Weak” topic sentence: “The commonplace found in “The Resource Curse” is a very common and damaging one” This could be improved by explicitly stating the commonplace in the topic sentence rather than the sentence following.
5) The pieces are incorporated well and thoroughly explained.
6) I think all points are concise and easily understandable. There is not much I would want for further expansion on your topics.
1. Identify the writer’s main claim about the rhetoric, ideology, lenses of analysis, or and subtext of the piece.
“Ultimately, both artifacts use visual rhetoric to communicate our civic duty to learn about neo-colonialism and attack the ongoing exploitation of Africa.”
2. Identify and comment on the writer’s introduction or “way in” for this piece of rhetoric. Name one thing that might be added, deleted, changed, or moved.
I like how you used an analogy in your intro. It made your main point easier to understand and it nicely draws in readers. It then flows nicely into the rest of your essay.
3. Warning flags: check any of the following predominant themes this paper contains that might suggest a weak introduction or thesis:
I did not see any warning flags.
4. Find a strong analytical topic sentence and a weak one. Explain why you have identified them as such.
The only topic sentence that could be considered “weak” would be “A final lens that can be used to analyze both artifacts is the misrepresentation of progress in global media.” I think this sentence could be improved a bit if you did not directly say lenses. Using a word-like strategy could improve it a bit.
A good topic sentence was, ““The Resource Curse” also employs heavy ideological criticism in its visual rhetoric” I like how it relates to your thesis and flows nicely into the rest of your paragraph
5. Comment on the organization of the piece. What other possible arrangement strategies might make more of the material and develop arguments more fully? How well is the second comparative piece of rhetoric incorporated?
Overall the organization is done well. Both artifacts are examined nicely. The flow of the essay is nice.
6. You wanted to read more about….
I’m interested in reading about how these artifacts relate more via the use of your other lenses.
1. Identify the writer’s main claim about the rhetoric, ideology, lenses of analysis, or and subtext of the piece“
Ultimately, both artifacts use visual rhetoric to communicate our civic duty to learn about neo-colonialism and attack the ongoing exploitation of Africa.
2. Identify and comment on the writer’s introduction or “way in” for this piece of rhetoric. Name one thing that might be added, deleted, changed, or moved.
I personally love your introduction, I remember yours was one of my favorites. I don’t think you should do much to change your “way in”. You put this issue in perspective, by comparing it to a scenario we can all relate to. You then hit every step of your introduction for the reader to understand what you are going to be talking about. The one thing I would potentially change is the sentence that says, “The other, which I’ll refer to as “The Resource Curse” illustrates the relationship between Western corporations and African people, where the Westerners “rejoice” over finding oil in Turkana, Kenya, but the citizens of the Turkana tribe are more concerned simply with finding clean water”. It obviously is a lot of good information, I just found it a bit too lengthy and difficult to analyze.
3. Warning flags: check any of the following predominant themes this paper contains that might suggest a weak introduction or thesis:
No warning flags
4. Find a strong analytical topic sentence and a weak one. Explain why you have identified them as such.
Weak: I would maybe elaborate a bit more on the topic sentence, ““The commonplace found in “The Resource Curse” is a very common and damaging one””. I feel like it doesn’t have a great flow to it in comparison to the paragraph it leads into.
Strong: I like the sentence ““The Resource Curse” also employs heavy ideological criticism in its visual rhetoric”. It gives a preview of what your paragraph is going to be talking about, connects to the previous paragraph, and is just a perfect balance of introductory information and prior knowledge.
5. Comment on the organization of the piece. What other possible arrangement strategies might make more of the material and develop arguments more fully? How well is the second comparative piece of rhetoric incorporated?
You did a really good job incorporating your information into your paragraphs, and you have a beautiful style in your writing. I just feel like the start of each new paragraph was almost a little abrupt, and written like that were not working in consideration of each other. Add some transitional phrases in there to make it flow better!!!
6. You wanted to read more about….
I would like to read more about the misrepresentation in the media. I found that paragraph to be one of the most intriguing, but felt that it was kind of rushed through.