Nov
2017
Home Sweet… Dorm?
As Thanksgiving break approached, all I could do was count down the days until I finally got to go home. Home. It’s such a weird concept, like what does home actually mean. According to Google, home is defined as “the place where one lives permanently, especially as a member of a family or household.” Now you see, this definition made me a little uncomfortable. I had always considered New City, NY, the place where I grew up, to be home, but being here at college makes that idea a little iffy.
Technically, I don’t live at “home” permanently because for a majority of the year I live in State College, PA. Sooo… does that make this my home? Is my dorm room my new home? When I finally went back to New York for break, the first day there felt weird. Like very weird. It was as if everything had just kind of moved on without me, except my room was exactly the way I left it (with the addition of some dust here and there). Literally even the cup of water I left on my nightstand was still there.
So here I am, in this place that I had always considered home, my safe space, feeling kind of out of place. That day I started thinking, is my dorm room really my new home? I didn’t like that idea, not because I didn’t want to feel comfortable at college, but because I felt like that meant I actually was growing up and kind of, in a way, moving out.
The week went on, and as each day passed, I started to feel more and more comfortable in my house, and by the end of the week I didn’t want to leave. I had finally gotten back in the groove of living in my house with my family again, so I didn’t want to have to leave that behind once again. I was kind of nervous about coming back to campus because I wasn’t sure if I would feel the same being back in my dorm room because of how I had felt back in New York, but as I walked in the room, I once again felt that feeling of being “home”.
If I had felt at “home” in New York and at Penn State, what did this mean? How could I feel the same about both places? I decided I don’t need to figure out the answer to that right now. If I’m happy and comfortable at both places, why should I have to choose?
And anyways, how lucky am I to have two places that I get to call home?
Sarah Duffy
December 1, 2017 at 5:50 pm (7 years ago)I felt the same way about going home for Thanksgiving. Even though I live near Philly, which is relatively close to Penn State, I hadn’t been home since summer but over the course of the week, I felt like I never even left.
dqw5166
December 1, 2017 at 5:51 pm (7 years ago)Damn. I expected a nice fun blog post and now I’m all sad and emotional. Clearly you are one lucky women being comfortable in two places. I think that is perfectly OK and something you should take advantage of. Also… IT SUCKS being so old. I just want to be a young kid again and not be a real adult. Its crazy. Either way State college is the way better home and you should enjoy your four years here. Best Friend.
vxn24
December 1, 2017 at 5:58 pm (7 years ago)The days leading up to Thanksgiving break were brutal! All I wanted to do was go home! I finally got home, and had sort of an “out of body” experience. It looked so different than I remember. Then, I got too used to sleeping in late, so when I had to come back to school I nearly cried. It’s hard to believe that we can even consider our dorm room our home. I remember thinking halfway through the semester that I’d never live at home again, permanently. A wave of emotion hit me, because it’s sad to think that the house I grew up in I would no longer see everyday. While it’s sad, it’s also exciting, because it’s a sign that we’re beginning to grow up.
rbv5043
December 1, 2017 at 5:59 pm (7 years ago)I totally agree with this whole post. First of all, being from New York as well makes leaving so insanely hard because who wants to leave the Empire State? But, I felt the same exact thing when I went home. At first it felt so weird but now i’m here and hoping 2 weeks will fly right by so I can go back. Personally, I don’t feel “home” here yet but you’re very lucky that you do!