“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” -Martin Luther King Jr.

As someone who lives for inspirational quotes, the words spoken by Martin Luther King Jr. never cease to amaze and inspire me. I always have and probably always will love his quotes, not just because of the actual words, but the messages behind them. The way he used his words to provoke a movement is inspiring because despite all of the hardships he had experienced, he never turned to hatred. In many of his most famous quotes he focused on the contrast between love and hate, always proving that love continues to be the stronger force no matter what. He continued to look to the future, instead of dwelling on the past that could not be changed.

This quote in particular is inspiring to me because it is such a relevant message each and every day. I have always been a firm supporter of standing up for what you believe in, so these words really resonated with me. Immediately after reading this quote, I was brought back to a day that I will never forget. This day was one of the most life-changing, empowering days I have ever experienced within my short 18 years of life.

That day was January 21st, 2017.

On that day, I got to partake in making history. I walked through New York City along with millions of others to protest the injustice that women, and many other groups, are subject to on a daily basis. Yes, I participated in the Women’s March on Washington.

So many people questioned me, asking, what’s the point? Donald Trump was already elected and there is nothing you can do to change that. The answer was this: Whereas I know we can’t change the past, that doesn’t mean we have to accept it with open arms. We will continue to fight for our equal rights, no matter what it takes or who is in office. The purpose of this march was not to kick Donald Trump out of office; it was simply to show that we would not sit back and accept the injustice as it was.

This quote by Martin Luther King Jr. embodies this mindset perfectly, and I like to think we did him proud in the way we stood up and raised our voices so that there was no way we could be ignored.

This issue matters, and we refuse to be silent.

We’ve all been there, arguing with someone who will clearly never change their view or even try to see ours. So why do we keep arguing? Is it even worth it?

The answer is yes, it is almost always worth it. In one of my classes, we discussed the idea of conflicts and arguments. Although these two words might seem like the same thing, people actually had very different interpretations of each word. Whereas some people thought that conflicts led to arguments, others believed that arguments led to conflicts. Whatever the case was, we all were in agreement; conflicts/arguments are not always a bad thing.

If there is an issue that you feel strongly about, you should keep having arguments because it creates a conversation, even if it doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. Of course, there are some arguments where it might be worth it to wave the white flag, such as arguing about where to eat dinner with your friend. But when a conflict involves an ideology that you believe is worth fighting for, arguing is so important. It starts a conversation that otherwise might have never started.

When you think about it, some of the biggest conflicts in history have led to pretty incredible things. For example, had the Civil Rights Movement not created conflict through protests and civil disobedience, there would never have been any progress made in terms of achieving social justice.

I thought this topic was very interesting because a lot of people tend to believe that conflicts are a negative thing, but that just isn’t the case. Arguments don’t always involve anger and yelling either; they can be respectful conversations that just involve opposing views. These respectful conversations are the most constructive ones because you really listen to what the person has to say and they listen to you, instead of yelling over each other and not even listening to a word the other speaker has to say.

I began to realize that I was guilty of sometimes engaging in unproductive arguments. By this I mean I tend to only worry about my side of an argument rather than listening to what the other person really has to say. I might be thinking of my next response without even hearing what they have to say, which is not respectful or helpful when engaging in dialogue with anyone.

At the end of the class, we were told to make a small, achievable goal for ourselves in regard to conflicts and arguments. I decided that I would make a conscious effort to really listen to everything someone says to me during an argument instead of thinking of my next response first. I also want to continue to always fight for the things I believe in, even if it might seem like there is no hope in making any change. Everything has to start somewhere, and it usually begins with a simple conversation.

Last Tuesday, October 10th, I was lucky enough to attend the “Distinguished Speakers” event with Jill Biden here at Penn State.  I walked away with so many thoughts and feelings about what she said that I immediately went to my room and wrote down everything I could possibly remember from the talk so I wouldn’t forget the way I was feeling at that moment.  

Going into the auditorium, I wasn’t expecting much but I went because I thought it would be a cool experience considering my love for the Obama administration, especially the Obama and Biden families. Dr. Biden spoke beautifully about a range of issues that she is passionate about.  I admire her so much because of the fact that she kept a full-time job as a professor while being the Second Lady just because she didn’t want to have to give up her passion for teaching for her husband’s new position as Vice President.

The parts of the talk that stood out most to me, however, were when she talked about strength and leadership.

She led one portion of the talk by asking the question, “What is your strength?” She believes that no matter what kind of situation you are involved in, you can always find a strength of yours that will make a difference.  For example, she told a story about a time when 5 of her friends were diagnosed with breast cancer, one of them eventually dying from it.  She said all she could think about was how she could help or make a difference.  So she asked herself the question, “What is my strength?” and she realized she could use her teaching abilities to make a difference.  She created a foundation, the Biden Breast Health Initiative, and went around to every single high school in Delaware to inform teens of the importance of getting regular mammograms and self-checking in order to find the early signs of breast cancer.

This story really spoke to me because too often we discredit ourselves and think that because we aren’t professionals in a certain subject, that we can’t do anything to help.  Dr. Biden wanted to prove that this isn’t the case; anyone and everyone can find a way to make a difference if they just figure out a way to use their strength.

Another part of the talk that inspired me was during the Q & A portion when she was asked, “What qualities are important to be a leader?”  She responded in a way that surprised me; she said that a leader is someone that makes you feel something. She even went on to say that she sees more leaders in everyday life than she does within the politicians she has met throughout her time as Second Lady. Leaders are scientists and teachers and authors. Leaders make you feel something so strongly that you want to get up and do something about it.  They inspire you because of how they make you feel, and therefore anyone can be a leader.

Dr. Biden really impressed me in the way that she presented herself during this talk.  Not only was she well-spoken, but the messages she wanted to bestow upon the audience were eye-opening and inspiring.  She truly believes that anyone can, and should, do anything they set their mind to.

Due to my ever-present obsession with TED talks, I found myself hours deep on the website Sunday night.  Watching video after video, I was more than content to say the least.  Two TED talks in particular caught my attention and made me rethink my life a little bit.

Early on in my marathon, I found myself watching the very well-known TED talk, “Your Body Language May Shape Who You Are” given by Amy Cuddy.  She explained the impact that power-posing can have on how someone feels and how they are perceived by others.  She described “power-posing” as holding a stance that makes you feel powerful, whether thats standing up with your hands in the air or sitting up straight in a chair.

Standing in a posture with confidence can make one feel happier, more confident, and can even lead to more success in life. Amy Cuddy suggests holding a power-pose before any situation in which you want to be perceived well by others, such as a job interview, or when you want to be more confident in yourself, maybe when speaking up in class.

I have always been more introverted than extroverted throughout my life, and there have definitely been times when I wished I could just gain confidence in myself and what I’m doing, whether it was presenting in front of a class or in a job interview.  After watching this TED talk, I thought to myself, why haven’t I been doing this my entire life????? I want to try this “power-posing” thing and see if it really works.

And that’s where the second TED talk that I watched comes in.

Matt Cutts performed a TED talk about trying something new for 30 days.  He said to think about something that you’ve always wanted to add to your life and just try it for 30 days.  Thats it. And if you do it and hate it, at the end of 30 days it can be over, or if you love it, keep it in your life.  If you really want something enough, you can do anything for 30 days, within reason of course.

So that’s exactly what I’m going to do.  I am going to try something new for the next 30 days.  I want to wake up and power-pose everyday before starting whatever I have planned for the day.  Hopefully Amy Cuddy and Matt Cutts were right. Hopefully I can stick with power-posing for 30 days, and hopefully it helps me with my self-confidence and how others perceive me.

Last Friday night, I was singing and dancing with 6 of my friends when something magical happened.  Breaking Free from High School Musical started playing.  The second this song began, it was like the room transformed and it was just my friends and I singing and dancing our hearts out.  In that moment we all escaped any stress or worries that might’ve been lingering in our minds from the previous week.

It was such a beautiful moment that we all shared together.  For some unknown reason, that song just connected us and left us feeling exuberant. After that song we all looked at each other and felt exactly the same.  That moment had bonded us and we were closer because of it.

Since that night, I realized it’s the little moments that mean that most.  It’s so easy to get caught up and overwhelmed in a large event, but we need to take a step back and appreciate the little things that make that time special.  For example, on that night that I just told you about, we had fun the whole time, but in that moment it was different.  We were present and aware.

Mindfulness is something a lot of us often rule out as being a waste of time or just pointless, but it really isn’t.  Being mindful is just taking in a situation for what it is and truly being aware of your surroundings and your own thoughts.  It has also been proven to improve one’s mental health when practiced regularly.  The best part is that there isn’t just one way to practice it.  You can meditate, do breathing exercises, or, like I said, just be present in whatever you are doing.

In an age where technology is so easily accessible–literally at our fingertips–it can be quite difficult to be completely aware of your surroundings.  It is so easy for us to escape any situation by just looking down at our phones, pretending to text or scrolling through social media, that we often forget to look up.

I want to challenge everyone reading this to take a step back, even if it’s just once a day, and recognize where you are, who you’re with, and how you’re feeling.  Take a deep breath.  Cherish these few seconds that you’ve taken out of your day and really see the moment for what it is.

So remember to enjoy the little moments, even if your day seems crazy, because it might just make it that much better.  And that my friends, is being mindful.

How often do you get a fresh start? How often do you wish you could get a fresh start?

Fresh starts are hard to come by, as it is very difficult to just erase what was previously ingrained in your mind and the minds of others.  Sitting in temple on the eve of Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish new year, the rabbi began to read a passage written by Rabbi Rami Shapiro about new beginnings.

Normally, I sit and listen to the passages and think oh, that was nice or oh, that was boring and ok maybeeeee sometimes I end up zoning out just a teensy bit.  For some reason, this one really spoke to me.  Maybe because of how much my life has changed recently, starting college and living on my own for the first time, or maybe it would have resonated with me at any other point in my life.

The passage is called “Head Changing Day” and it is all about clearing your head before the new year.  (It’s super short and I HIGHLY recommend you read it!)  I loved the way the rabbi spoke about the stories we keep stored in our memories. The way we remember events is so telling of who we are as people and what you choose to remember is up to nobody but yourself.  The rabbi says that the best way to go into a new year is to change heads, and the only way to have a new head is to be “story-free”.  By this he means taking a step back and really evaluating the stories you keep with you.  If they are weighing you down and causing you to be anything but humble and happy, stop telling those stories and use the new year to make new ones.

I loved this passage because every year I like to think I’m starting over with a blank slate, but I never have. I never have really cleared my head with the new year. I always keep the baggage of the past years with me, somehow expecting that things can be different.  But as the Rabbi says, you can’t have a new head with the same old stories in it.

Of course this doesn’t mean go and forget every good memory you have, it just means that we should all try to keep an open mind about everything, despite any past experiences we might have had.

So with that said, its a new year, and hopefully I’ll figure out how to change heads at least a little bit.  Happy New Year (שנה טובה)!

Sitting on my bed with a 101 degree fever last week, I wanted to watch a simple movie that I could fall asleep to.  Scrolling through Netflix, I remembered my little campers this summer telling me to watch Zootopia because they loved it.  Thinking I would end up falling asleep halfway through because it was a movie fit for second graders, I hit play.

Snuggling into my blankets, I never could have predicted how much I would come to love this movie.  Not just because of its fun plot line…actually the opposite.  The serious underlying themes throughout the movie totally shocked me and all I could think was wow. just wow.

***For those of you who have yet to watch it….SPOILER ALERT! Go watch it and then come back to this post.***

I think the reason I was so pleasantly surprised by this movie was because of how clearly they addressed social problems such as racism and sexism.  Many producers and writers shy away from doing so because they don’t want to be too “political”, but the makers of Zootopia surely hit the nail on the head with this one.

In a world full of different animals trying to live in peace and harmony, there is a clear social hierarchy which causes some species to put at a disadvantage over others.  For example, foxes are seen as having a totally different culture than other animals.  They are seen as criminals and are not trusted to have important jobs.  This is an overt reference to how people of color are treated in modern society.  Not only are they often discriminated against in the workplace, but they are also much more likely to be arrested and incarcerated due to prejudice.

And if addressing racism wasn’t enough, the makers of this movie went above and beyond to break gender stereotypes as well.  In the movie, the bunnies represent women, and are often told that they aren’t big or strong enough to have tougher jobs.  There are many little comments said in the film about bunnies that people in our society sometimes say about women, and the bunnies break each stereotype one by one.  The main bunny, Judy, goes above and beyond as a cop to save her community and prove those who doubted her wrong.

Zootopia is definitely not a snoozer like I might’ve originally thought.  After watching it, I actually sat and reflected on the issues addressed in the movie.  I thought the creators of this movie did an incredible job, and the fact that a film with such a positive message is so popular with young children gives me hope for the future.  If they can see how the discrimination in this movie is wrong, hopefully they can make the connection to the real world and help make a difference.

I’m inspired by the bravery of a cartoon bunny and fox, what can I say?

“Everything happens for a reason.”

I know what you’re thinking, ugh this is just another cliche blog post. Understandably so because yes, this is probably the most overused, cliche line ever.  I can remember my mom saying this to me every time something didn’t go the way I planned it ever since I was really little.  It wasn’t until a year ago that I realized what this sentence truly meant to me.

Maybe you take this sentence to mean that there is some type of magical, mythical, god-like force that is planning out every little thing that happens in our lives like it’s some Hollywood movie.  Maybe you just believe in fate or destiny or whatever you want to call it.  Hey, to each his(or her) own.  I don’t know, but for some reason this phrase never resonated with me. Until one day it did.

I have always been a firm believer in working for what you want.  I don’t think anyone gets anything handed to them just because it’s a part of some larger plan or something, however, if you work hard, you just might catch a break every once in awhile.  Now don’t get me wrong, this isn’t just karma I’m talking about.

Even though we work hard, life still finds a way of sticking out its tongue and laughing at you from time to time.  Sometimes, you just gotta roll with it.  Shake it off.  Whatever you gotta do to get up and keep going.  Now you might be asking, “Jess, what does this have to do with ‘everything happens for a reason’”.  Well, I’m glad you asked.

Last year, I ran for president of a club that I had poured my heart and soul into the years prior. I really thought I had it in the bag because I thought everyone would recognize how much I had done for the club.  Well, the day of the election rolled around and I came home devastated.  I had lost.  I was so upset I literally cried into my mom’s shoulder and I heard that phrase again:

“Everything happens for a reason.”

At first I was mad.  If I had worked extremely hard, why wasn’t I getting recognized for it. That night I went to sleep still upset, but repeating the phrase my mom had said to me, even if I didn’t totally believe it.  When I woke up the next morning, I told myself I couldn’t be upset anymore and I had to use the time I would’ve spent being president to do something else.  

I ended up having way more time on my hands and got to focus more on a club that I otherwise would’ve just been a bystanding member in. I got a part-time job. I spent more time with my friends and family who I would soon be leaving for college.  I made so many memories and had so many good times that might not have happened if I had gotten that position or even if I just kept dwelling on the fact that I lost.  

My part-time job hostessing at a restaurant called “The Place”

Somehow this all makes sense it my head.  Maybe it doesn’t to you, I don’t know.  Basically what I’m getting at is if something doesn’t go the way you planned it, don’t give up and just say that there’s a reason it happened and there’s nothing you can do about it.  I’m saying the exact opposite.  If something goes wrong, go out and find a reason that it happened.  Use it as an opportunity to branch out, try something new.

So, with that said,

Everything happens for a reason.  Well, if you’re able to find one, of course.