Since the onset of the Great Recession in 2007, America’s birth rate has steadily and precipitously declined¹. Moreover, data released by the Journal of Economic Perspectives in 2022 reports that births per 1,000 women have fallen nearly 20 percent over the last decade, and such trends are expected to continue in the aftermath of the Covid-19 pandemic². And while analysts and pundits alike can debate the political and/or economic bases for these reports, the impact of conflicting priorities among employed Americans will remain largely discounted. Specifically, America’s extraordinary gains in wealth and productivity may be largely attributed to its heavily educated workforce, with two-thirds holding at least some post-secondary degree³. In turn, the prioritization of job performance by a staggering amount of college graduates has emerged into a work-family imbalance which coincides with a drastic decrease in the national birthrate over time. With more people, particularly women, attending college now than ever before, attitudes geared towards career advancement will gradually direct the masses away from child rearing4.
As birth rates in the U.S. continue to decline, action must be taken to alleviate the concerns wielded by much of the nation’s aspiring workforce. Primarily, parents of dual-earning households are unable to maintain a proper work ethic while also navigating a labyrinth of obstacles related to childcare. In other words, future workers fear the burden of time management. A traditional full-time shift in America is scheduled from 8 AM to 5 PM compared to the traditional school day which runs from 7:30 AM to 2:30 PM5. While more than 70 percent of parents are classified as full-time workers, they remain forced to accommodate an outdated, illogical school schedule. However, the grand solution is not to discourage future generations from bearing children altogether. Rather, a legislative alteration must be made to the existing K-12 schooling schedule. Not only would this strategy reduce the remedy of child rearing on parents, but it would also improve the capabilities of children as well as organizations which will progressively attain a more educated workforce. Requiring children to stay in school for longer hours through a greater portion of the year would enable dual-career families to establish a suitable balance between work and family6.
Wonderful flow and structure as usual. The varience and precise word choice kept me engaged. In the first paragraph you do an exquisite defining and diving into America’s changing family life and work place demographics.
However, I find it hard to transition your proposal in the second paragraph as a direct solution to the problem. Maybe a little more substance in why this would be the best or a significant solution to the stop demographic changes. Potientially a comparison to use other countries who have tried this as a case study?
The second paragraph is great. Well written and easy to follow your logic through. Yet, I am still a little confused on how signifigant it is as a main solution to the problem identified in paragraph one. Maybe consider other benefits of your proposal, including better school performance or a potential for greater moral among students.
Overall, it is a great and impressive intro to what I believe is an important topic.
1). Comment on the title. How does it offer a way forward on the issue? Does it hint at or echo the paper’s thesis? Make suggestions.
I think that your title offers a good overview to what your paper is going to be able. I do not necessarily believe that this echoes your stance on the topic, however. I think that it shows the want of a revision to the educational calendar. I think that it could be worded differently to represent more of an opinion that you have about the topic. I think overall this is a good title.
2). Does this piece’s title and introduction respond to an exigence?-Does it make the issue pressing or connect to other pressing needs and issues? Make suggestions.
Yes I thought that this topic is very related. I thought that the title made you want to read more. Since this is a topic that all students are experiencing first hand. The title gives explanations to how educational calendars came about and therefore connects the topic to previous issues such as. the great recession and Covid-19. I think the title gives insight to how educational calendars have developed which is the main part of the intro.
3). Comment on the thesis. Does it set up a clear argumentative claim? Is it advancing a specific policy or practice? Can you imagine how the rest of the argument will unfold? Yes the thesis sets a clear claim. It explains how you think that being in school for larger hours would be more suitable for working families. I can imagine how you will transition into talking about the effects of longer school hours. I think that this is introducing opportunity to explain your claim.
I think that you had a very sophisticated and informative tone. I think that your word choice and evidence is really strong. This is a good start to your issue belief.
1). Comment on the title. How does it offer a way forward on the issue? Does it hint at or echo the paper’s thesis? Make suggestions.
I think it’s a good basic title. It gets the point across, but it could be a little more creative instead of just stating exactly what the paper is about.
2). Does this piece’s title and introduction respond to an exigence?-Does it make the issue pressing or connect to other pressing needs and issues? Make suggestions.
I think that the issue is highlighted in the title and introduction and relates to the reader, especially students.
3). Comment on the thesis. Does it set up a clear argumentative claim? Is it advancing a specific policy or practice? Can you imagine how the rest of the argument will unfold?
The thesis is clear and argues for a good change in policy regarding the amount of time that children are in school.
Comment on the title. How does it offer a way forward on the issue? Does it hint at or echo the paper’s thesis? Make suggestions.
While I love the title, I am not sure it necessarily gives insight to your opinion the issue or hints at the thesis. My only suggestion would be adding a personal touch of your opinion to the title.
2). Does this piece’s title and introduction respond to an exigence?-Does it make the issue pressing or connect to other pressing needs and issues? Make suggestions.
I really liked this intro and thought it flowed very smoothly. The only suggestion I would have is to add further evidence on how your solution addresses the problem and explain why more.
3). Comment on the thesis. Does it set up a clear argumentative claim? Is it advancing a specific policy or practice? Can you imagine how the rest of the argument will unfold?
You have a very strong and assertive thesis! I really like it!