Last weekend, the Blue Band marched in a parade in Ligonier (for details, see my last post). During the parade, we played two tunes: a medley of Penn State fight songs and “Americans We” by Henry Fillmore. I dreaded every time I heard the rolloff for “Americans We” because it could only mean one thing: the next five or so minutes of my life would be wasted playing offbeats. And I would never get those five minutes back.
I don’t know exactly who came up with the form for the march; maybe it was Sousa, King of Marches, or maybe it was someone before him. But whoever it was must of had some sort of grudge against horn players, because every single march I have ever played has had essentially the same horn part. Here, I’ll sing it for you:
oom PA oom PA oom PA oom PA
Now imagine that on repeat for an entire song. Sometimes we’ll get lucky and the composer will throw in a downbeat for kicks, but I’ve played marches where I have a grand total of two note changes in the entire piece. I’ll never understand why the horns, who have a unique tone and exceptional range, get stuck with boring offbeats while the trumpets get soaring melodies, the woodwinds get fun ornamental parts, and the trombones get powerful basslines. Even the baritones generally have a phrase or two of intricate countermelodies, and most people don’t even know what a baritone is (it’s like a baby tuba, by the way).
So although it may sound un-American of me, I must confess: I despise marches and I always will. John Phillip Sousa, I’m looking at you.
Back when I played flute in middle school, I probably would have appreciated just having two notes to play. By eighth grade, I was so tired of band that I would never practice the music, and I would have no idea what I was doing when it came time for the concert. And, of course, since we were seated alphabetically, I was always right at the front. I got really, really good at fake flute playing. But if the songs were only two notes, I have a feeling that I would have been a much better flute player!
I would disagree. As a former trumpet player I would say that nearly all brass players hate marches – sure, trumpets have soaring melodies, but playing those soaring melodies for five minutes on repeat absolutely destroys your chops. When I switched to sousaphone, I found it considerably easier to play, although incredibly boring, and that was just as bad.
So really, you’re not the only one. Probably the only person who likes marches is the bass drummer – it’s an easy, steady beat on the downbeats at constant tempo.