Isn’t thinking about the future just beautiful? The joys of wondering where you’ll be and what you’ll be doing. The cool fake life you’ll make up when you try to go clubbing in your forties. Thinking about those 36 cats you want to have and how you will name them, wishing your wife and kids had let you name one (JUST ONE MIND YOU) Mr. Fluffypants. Sadly, sometimes the future is not exactly how we pictured it. For example, I thought I was going to have a pet T-Rex I could ride around and scream, “GIVE ME THAT FILEYAH FISH!!!!” on.

What did I get instead?

Two arms to crunch up and swing around like a velociraptor. Yes, I was a badass, but I was definitely not as scary and awesome as I could’ve been… Can you imagine a high school senior riding through the halls on a fricking dinosaur!!!!! Everybody would be giving me their fish at lunch. I know ole Sparky would’ve enjoyed it <– See I even had a name prepared and everything!!!

You are probably wondering what the hell my unstable thoughts have to do with today’s great movie! Well, think about how you feel when your dreams don’t come true. Upset, angry, mad at the world for letting you down. Well for this Los Angeles cop, everything he ever cared about, his family, his job, and the people of his city are all stripped away, within what to him feels like the blink of an eye.

Have you ever felt so obliged to watch Demolition Man? As it turns out, killing people’s dreams can make a fantastic work of art! I give this movie a 10/10 every time I watch it because the plot is so juicy and the characters are so well developed I just have to bite into everything it offers like a delicious RATburger! Yep! You heard that right! Ever wondered what a ratburger tastes like? If Sylvester Stallone enjoys it you can damn well bet, you will too!!!

Demolition Man is an R-rated film coming in at about an hour and fifty-five minutes ,but let me tell you that you will be on the front of your bootleg desk chair the entire time!

“BUT WAIT!!! MR. BLOGGING WITH A DOG, WHY ON EARTH WOULD I WANT TO WATCH A BLOODY AND GRUESOME RATED R FILM!?!?!?

First off, my young inexperienced movie lover who still thinks AMC is a good theater (seriously though???), this movie takes death and violence and turns it into a fun, comedic experience the whole family can get behind! And if you are watching it with small children, tell them the very mean man is just putting people to sleep so he can use the ATM machine more efficiently! Trust me, cracking necks feels good, it gets all those kinks out of there so nicely and ahhhhhgggg the very thought makes my goosebumps rise.

Second, you didn’t even let me develop this plot yet! Alright, so imagine taking down the most advanced criminal in the world only to be imprisoned as well for a crime you did not commit. In this 1984 style Utopian society, a police officer and a vicious criminal are put in cryogenic freezing to undergo rehabilitation in the year 1996. 36 years later the criminal is awoken to attend a parole meeting where he is able to execute his superior skills and escape the prison. To combat this situation, the police officer is also awoken and reinstated, told he must stop the criminal before it is too late. Oh, and did I forget to mention that in this new pseudo-pacifist world human behavior is tightly controlled? That means no one has access to guns, you can’t curse or you get fined, and a whole bunch of other rules that render the police defenseless against the criminal, especially after he steals guns from the museum of guns (I know right how funny, why even ban guns if you are just going to put them on display somewhere?).

The cast is also comprised of some of the most incredible actors of the time including Sylvester Stallone, Sandra Bullock, and Wesley Snipes. Don’t freak out though, Sandra Bullock actually had a good movie career before gravity.

I know my description may sound concerning, but trust me as Mr. Fluffypants will one day, even the violent scenes are hilarious. As weird as that sounds, Wesley Snipes is constantly making jokes about the cops trying to apprehend him with not so much as combat training. Plus!! There’s the most wonderful description of what a ratburger is, to say “what’s up” you actually say “What’s your boggle,” you find out the only restaurant around is taco bell, and both Stallone and Snipes are constantly getting fined throughout the movie for cursing. If that’s not enough for you, Stallone’s first interaction with a future car may impress you as well…

So, maybe everything you ever knew being wiped out by a giant earthquake while you were in cryogenic freezing, including your family, isn’t your cup of tea. But please, please, please, give this movie the time of day and I promise you will not be disappointed like I was when I found out I would not be riding a Tyrannosaurus Rex named Sparky to school every day.

This movie makes the most humorous references while still providing a perfect story with fully developed characters, a thick plot, and best of all only taco bells!!

So, pop your popcorn, pour out your large chocolate milk, light a fire, and get ready to gaze (or torrent) upon this masterpiece. It is 100% worth your time and I promise, the only reason it is rated R is because kids back in the 90s didn’t shoot the crap out of the Russians in call of duty when they were ten years old.

Enjoy the movie and let me know what you think!!!

Love your very caring,

Blogging Dog 😊

 

P.S. If you can’t hold in your curiosity, here are some of my favorite clips from the movie:

What’s Up?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4XWlroqZYg

 

Cursing Fines

 

Police Incompetence

 

BEST SCENE OF ENTIRE MOVIE (MUST WATCHHH!!!!!)