Through Hardships & Mistakes, Life Goes On
At 6:45 am on February 22, 2014, I woke up wide awake in a complete frenzy realizing I missed my very first THON performance with my dance team that was scheduled for 6 am. I didn’t believe it at first; turning on my phone and seeing I had numerous missed calls from team members, I checked the time hoping my phone said 5:30 am and not the 6:45 numbers that stared me down from my alarm clock. My heart sunk. How could I be so stupid and sleep through a performance my dance team and I had practiced for so long? I couldn’t accept it. Me? I felt embarrassed, ashamed, foolish, angry, sad, confused, and hurt all at once. “No no no no no no no no!” I said repeatedly pacing my tiny dorm room in East Halls trying not to wake my roommate.
However, as the realization began to sink in, tears sprung from my eyes as feelings of anger, stupidity, and humiliation rose to uncontrollable levels. Pulling out my phone I quickly textd the Penn State Dance Alliance’s GroupMe, “I overslept and missed our THON dance. I feel so stupid. I’m so sorry!” and continued to sob miserably onto my pillow. “God I don’t understand! Why!” I exclaimed. I then grabbed my phone again and called my mother sobbing to her about what happened. She was hurt because she knew how much it meant to me. Attempting to calm me down she explained that God has a reason for things happening and that’s how life works. Calling my father afterwards he expressed the same things and added that sometimes things happen to protect us from certain things.
I told myself I wouldn’t walk into THON looking miserable and depressed. That being said, it took me close to an hour to calm myself down and realize that there was nothing I could do to change what just happened. As I put on my bright THON attire, I looked at myself in the mirror puffied eyed but much more relaxed. Taking my makeup out, I began to add eyeliner, mascara, and eye shadow allowing each cosmetic to help show that I was moving on from the mistake that I had made. After finally adding a pink bow to my hair, I took a deep breath, grabbed my sweater and made my way through the frigid February air to the Bryce Jordan Center.
As I was walking, I tried not to think about the long hours of rehearsals I had with the team and tried to focus on what my parents had told me. I’ve accepted the fact that I will never know the true reason as to why I missed my first THON performance, but knowing that it was for a positive reason gave me strength to put a calm smile on my face once I entered the THON arena. From reflecting on these things it made me realize that everything in life happens for a reason, whether it’s to protect us, teach us, or open our eyes to something important.
