“I am me. I’m who I’m meant to be. I am my past, my present and who I want to be. I’m not anyone, I am all three. I am a work in progress, a destiny. I am who I choose to be. I am me.” In the summer I stumbled upon this unclaimed quote on Tumblr.com and still till this day its meaning remains in my day-to-day life as it did in the past.
During my sophomore year, life took a turn for me in the most negative way possible. Add all the factors that come with school such as stress, pressure to excel, and the expectations expected of me from my mother. Now, add a sprinkle of dealing with drama within my friendships, a death of a friend and a relationship forming into a tarnished one. And that my friend brings you to the most difficult time I had to deal with as a sophomore in college. Due to this, overtime I lost myself in the midst of it all and for the longest I didn’t feel like my usual self. At the time, since I was aware of this change, I had to understand the difficult process of being incapable of interpreting it all. Which led me to a standstill point in my life of not having an idea how it happened, how I could obtain it all back and where to start.
I’ve always had an optimistic and rather happy outlook towards life. And in doing so, I believed to live my life in a spontaneous manner. Some may say spontaneity only leads to reckless behavior, but at the time my perception was this being the only right way to living it well. As I tried to stay afloat with schoolwork and my personal life stuck in turmoil, I started to believe the disappointing outcomes that occurred were my fault, my wrongdoing. I over analyzed situations and blamed it on my impulsive behavior. The one trait I constantly took pride in spiraled into something I became rather shameful of.
I recall having a conversation with my mother shedding some insight to the problems I previously faced and I recall her bringing up the term journey. See, my mother will always be someone I look up to. I have yet to encounter someone who holds such a strong inner strength like she does. I mention this because she said, “ Life is a journey and if it weren’t for the obstacles that I had to overcome as a young parent on my own, I probably wouldn’t have pushed myself to prosper more in life to or to how successful I am today”. She continuously reminds me that the valuable lessons are much greater than the negative outcomes. Eventually I had to come to terms with what my journey was and the misunderstanding I felt about my character. I didn’t lose myself. I’m still the same person, but with more wisdom and experience and in due time the past will remain as growing pains.
To conclude, another idol of mines, who goes by the stage name of Rihanna, aka Robyn Fenty stated, “Success for me isn’t a destination, it’s a journey.” All in all, journeys are all about personal growth because their endless.