Growing up in a traditional home with a mom, dad and little brother, I was raised with lots of love, protection and support. I wanted for few and needed for nothing. My family provided me with all of life’s gifts and even a bit extra. I was encouraged to be kind to others, use my manners, and to do my best at all times. I love my family dearly, and I owe them more than a lifetime of gratitude.
The young woman I am today has been greatly influenced by the devotion of my family; however, my family has never pushed me to my greatest extents. They preached to me “the sky’s the limit,” and I told myself to go even further. I wanted to do better, be stronger, and go bigger. When I did well in academics or sports, my family would reward me. I went home to congratulations, job well done, and prideful moments. I was told what I did well but never what I did, well, not well.
In the third grade after a long visit to the doctor, it was determined that I had stomach ulcers due to stress. A third grader getting sick because she’s “stressed?” What on earth would an 8-year-old be worried about? Sounds a little odd and irregular, but it’s true. For the next two years I continued to have stomach ulcers off and on. I would take two medicines daily. I would make trips to the nurse’s office after breakfast and lunch to ensure that I would not upset my stomach after a meal.
At 10 years old I learned a crucial life lesson. One week after school left out, the end of my fourth grade year and my brother’s first grade year, my father walked us down to the mailbox to grab our report cards. Ever so anxiously I raced ahead while taunting to my little brother, “I did better than you this year! I know it!” (Don’t tell my brother this, but he is much smarter than I am- never will I admit that to his face though!) I grabbed the big yellow envelopes out of the long black mailbox and ripped mine open as fast as I could. Up until that moment in my life, I had earned straight A’s. I put an enormous amount of pressure on myself to live up to my high standards. I can only imagine the look on my 10-year-old face as I read over the big white page with black writing all over it and came across the scariest letter of my life: B.
How could I have let that happen? A “B” was not my best work, and I certainly was not prepared to accept it. Unfortunately, my perfect academic record was a bit tarnished, but I would learn to get over it and move on with my life. My father, like always, rewarded my brother and I for our hard work during the school year. We each got our own dirt bikes and were able to ride them all summer long. Even though I had earned better grades than my brother, we did our best and our parents knew it. Because of that, we earned the same honor. After that summer, I was able to stop taking my medicine. My stomach ulcers had gone away along with my unneeded stress. To this day I am still haunted by the taste of certain foods or drinks which remind me of my old medicines, but it reminds me of the better place I am in and the improved mindset I have.
I was able to turn my desperation to be flawless into a means of self-inspiration. I moved forward knowing that as long as I did as much as I possibly could, it was enough and my results were enough. My parents were still proud of me with a B on my report card and my brother was still an instigator when I needed him to be.
Self-motivation has been a major key to my life’s success thus far. My need for perfection was and continues to be my Achilles’ heel. At times I am my own worst enemy, but I would not have it any other way. Competition is not a bad thing. As nice as it would be, we cannot all be winners all of the time. But is competing against our own selves a bad thing? I say no. I have competed against myself for many years now, and I haven’t lost once. Yes, I have failed many times, but I use each failure as an ingredient to achieving my greatness.
My impulse to thrive has become second nature. I am reminded daily to stay true to my morals and values and live for my life’s purpose. Creating my own self-motivation makes me a better person. My family often tells me, “we don’t know where you came from, but we sure do know where you’re going.” I believe that adding valuable ambition, the strong desire to succeed, to our lives has life-changing potential for everyone.