I believe in dancing like nobody’s watching.
I began performing when I was very young, maybe three or four. My dance season began in late August and finished mid-June. Then the obligatory summer ballet camps began in July and finished in early August. The cycle continued for most of my childhood, and only intensified when I started high school.
When I was in fourth grade I was asked to be on my studio’s competition team. Two years later, I was given a solo. I spent hours rehearsing with my dance teacher and stayed long after my scheduled practices to perfect each and every part of my routine. When the time finally came to perform onstage, my nerves nearly numbed my body. My overall score was frightening, and it seemed like I had disappointed everyone. I was bitter following that dance competition. I returned home to my studio, where I worked tirelessly and exerted twice as much effort and pizazz. No matter how hard I worked, however, I was never satisfied with my dancing.
I knew I had to make significant changes in my life when I realized dance became more toxic than beneficial. I spent years obsessing over a placement that in reality meant nothing. I was not trying to better myself. I was not trying to improve my self-esteem or stage presence. All of that preparation was for a plastic trophy and a false sense of achievement.
During my junior year of high school, I made it my goal to forget about the awards and the trophies, and focus on my growth as a dancer, even if it meant I would never win first place. Once I began dancing as if nobody was watching, dance became a form of therapy. I could release all of my stress and worries onto the marley floors, and did not care what anybody thought or said. I realized the only person I needed to please was the dancer looking back at me in the mirror.
This attitude adjustment not only impacted my dancing, but had a ripple effect throughout other aspects of my life as well. I saw every challenge I encountered as a chance to better myself. I did not obsess over my mistakes, but rather learned from them. I always thought dance would be a part of my life throughout high school, and then I would stop when I attended college. However, the complete opposite is true. I am still dancing today, and continue to benefit from the idea of dancing like nobody is watching. I never imagined a hobby would teach me a valuable lesson I could apply to my life outside the studio. College can be demanding, overwhelming, and confusing. However, I know that if I stay true to my beliefs and disregard the background noise, I will be happier and healthier in the end.