Blog 1: This I believe…by Danielle James

I believe in the power of choice.

Anyone who knows me knows that I’m a bit of a Jersey girl. I was raised in North Jersey, I’m a huge Mets fan, and I have a deep appreciation for good bagels. But if you were to look at my passport, you’d see that I was born in San Antonio, Texas. This is usually a surprise to newer friends and it’s strange for me because I don’t personally identify with Texas at all.

My older brother was also born in Texas, but raised in Jersey in the same house as me. Our parents adopted us from birth through an adoption agency. Amazingly, my brother and I have the same birth mother. She gave my brother up for adoption when he was born, and three years later she gave birth to me and gave me to the same parents.

Being adopted has taught me a lot of things, but the most important is that choice is extremely powerful. The saying “blood is thicker than water” means nothing to me. Sometimes people who aren’t adopted have a difficult time understanding the idea of it all. Often I hear about how it must be crazy to technically have “two sets of parents”. What I try to explain is that I don’t have two sets of parents. I don’t have two families. I have CHOSEN my “adoptive” parents as my family, just as they chose me. I could have grown up rejecting them as my family, always believing that my biological mother was my only true mother. But I didn’t. I chose them for the amazing parents that they are.

I have also chosen to not be angry or sad about being adopted. Some (not all) adopted children live feeling greatly confused about why their biological parents would give them away. I went through a phase like this myself, where I was sad by the idea that my birth mother didn’t keep me. But over the years, I have chosen to become more understanding of her own choices. And in that, I have become much happier and satisfied with the blessing that I have a family at all.

I think that this lesson can be useful in all aspects of life. I am always making choices that can impact my life and attitude. I chose to come to Penn State (which is a decision I’m very happy about). I chose to major in Journalism & Political Science. I choose to identify with being from Jersey instead of Texas. And in the next few years, I’m sure I’ll make even more life changing decisions.

I have so much power in the choices I make. We all do. And sometimes it’s important to realize that we can choose how to live our lives. Sometimes we can choose happiness over anger. Even the smallest decisions have the power to alter our persons forever.

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