“If you want to change the world, find someone to help you paddle.”
This is a life lesson from Naval Admiral William H. Mcraven. In his book titled, “Make Your Bed,” he gives ten life lessons that he’s learned from Basic Seal Training. Particularly, this one stuck out to me the most.
In life, we are faced with moments of happiness, moments of heartache, moments of fear. In trying times and in times of joy, we simply cannot go through them alone. Within the rest of the contents of this blog, I will describe to you how this lesson has encompassed my life.
It was the summer of 2006. My mom and I were at Mommy and Me Girl Scout camp, my dad out of town for work, and my little brother at my grandparent’s house. The rain was relentless, nonstop. We were concerned throughout the passing days about flooding at our house. Our home is in a flood zone, so we knew if it did flood, it wouldn’t be good. At the camp, my mom would call home to my grandparents’ house to ask how the creek was doing. My grandma knew that it had flooded and that everything was ruined, but she didn’t tell my mom. My mom had a gut feeling that we had to leave the camp, so we did. When we arrived home, everything was ruined. Five feet of water in our downstairs. Couches and dressers floating, pictures scattered on top of the water and buried under the mud. No longer did we have a road, no longer did we have a driveway, a sidewalk…even a front yard. Our in-ground pool had been filled with mud and flood waters. Cars and trees were piled up all over our acre yard. Though I was young, I was old enough to remember the damage.
On the flip side, the one thing that stuck out to me was the amount of people that helped us get back on our feet. Immediately I remember seeing people from our church family at our home; gutting out the downstairs, rinsing off basketballs and objects from the garage. The people who took me (age 8) and my brother (age 5) to their homes to watch us so our parents could take care of the mess that mother nature created. My family and friends who helped in any way they could whether it was salvaging pictures, making us food or ripping out sheetrock.
“If you want to change the world, find someone to help you paddle.”
It was the summer of 2018. My entire family was at the beach. My dad at home but at work at the time. The rain was relentless, nonstop. We were concerned about the water levels of the creek. Tuesday morning, we called my dad from the beach. He had gone to work at 7 a.m. but left work two and a half hours later, when he received a phone call that the creek had overflowed its banks. Immediately, my mom, brother, his girlfriend and I started the five-hour trek back home.
It’s hard to know what to feel when you don’t know what you’re coming home to. My dad called my mom on the car ride home. Four words. 2006 all over again.
At that moment, my vision became blurry from the tears flooding my eyes. Yes, I felt sick. My mind flashed back to 2006, me standing in knee deep mud in my childhood fort thinking the world was ending. But the one thing I said to myself when I flashed back to reality was, “We have good people. They will help get us through.”
At 3:00 p.m. we arrived home. That smell. I could recognize it as soon as the air particles hit my nose hairs. There are three things I remember from 2006. The damage, the support, and the smell.
My family who had come home earlier from the beach was already there helping my dad. My grandparents and cousins were on their way home as soon as we told them how bad it was. Soon enough, my whole family was there helping us. My brother’s friends, my friends, all there asking what they could do. There were people we didn’t even know showing up to our house and giving us food and water at every time of the day.
People took clothing and shoes to be washed, furniture to restore. Teachers from my high school showed up and shop-vac’d the water out of the downstairs. Neighbors that we hadn’t spoken to in years paying a stranger to get gas for our generator and telling us he loved us. People offering to get any supplies I needed to go back to school (which started in four days).
“If you want to change the world, find someone to help you paddle.”
It was August 25, 2018 when I discovered black mold in my apartment at Penn State. Just as I thought I was getting away from dealing with a destroyed home, I was stepping into a toxic one.
So began the process of dealing with the realtor, getting brushed off as a college kid, and contacting mold testing companies as if I were a home owner. I felt alone and discouraged, but my family had my back. My Uncle Brad helped walk me through the next steps to take. After I told him what the mold testing company said, he told me, “Have them give me a call with the payment. I got this one.” He didn’t have to do that, and he didn’t have to help me and my parents sort out the mess.
My Uncle Brian once said to my grandma, “You know Mom, not every family is like ours.” We are there for each other all the time. We don’t let anything get in between us. They help us move into college, they help us cook Thanksgiving dinner, they help us recover from floods. They rejoice with us in our triumphs. They teach us lessons. They are my rock, and I know I can count on them to help me paddle; through lazy rivers, rapids, and all.
“If you want to change the world, find someone to help you paddle.”