I was about thirteen years old when my Dad told me this story. I had never seen him so emotional and serious before. He had never really talked about his childhood much, but that day when I asked him about his Dad, my Grandpa, I got a story I never expected to hear.
My Dad grew up in New Jersey with my Grandma and her second husband. He also had two younger siblings. Growing up they did not have much money and spent what they had on things they needed to survive. The only father figure my Dad had in his life was his stepfather because he never had the opportunity to meet his real one. Unfortunately, his stepfather wasn’t a great guy. He told me that it was rough growing up in that house and that he was verbally abused. It was even worse for my Grandma. His stepfather physically abused her but continued to stay around for years. I remember sitting in the car with tears in my eyes thinking, how could he have kept this from me for so long. I could tell he was tearing up when he looked at me and said something along the lines of, “Now this part of my childhood may be hard for you to hear but I want you to understand something. I am only telling you this because I need you to know you always have a choice. You can let the bad things that happen to you in life make you a bad person or you can choose to learn from them and strive to be better.”
When my Dad was about eight years old his mother and stepfather had gotten into a pretty bad argument. The fight ended with his stepfather pulling out a knife on his mother and threatening to kill her. My Dad was home at the time and was able to call the police. That was the last day he ever had to see his stepfather. After that day, my Dad swore that he would be a better man to his own family. He went on to join the wrestling team and was the first one in his family to ever attend college. He is now a successful business owner and a great father. He is an inspiration to me every day and that is why I believe that your situation cannot define you unless you let it.
Since that day, whenever life hands me something unexpected, I remember what my Dad told me. I can either let that one bad thing make me a bad person or grow from it. I live a pretty great life. My family is very supportive, and we are financially well off. I do not have the struggles my Dad had, but that makes me grateful. I am grateful that he made the choice to grow from his bad experiences. I keep that in mind every day to remind me to stay humble and to be thankful for the opportunities that I have. I do have struggles of my own, but that story has taught me that any negative experience can be turned into something productive. I know that my life is not going to be perfect, but thanks to my Dad, I now know that it is my choice to either learn from the lessons life throws at me or let those lessons define me. Every day, my goal is to remember to learn from those lessons and to strive to be better.