I believe in the importance of mental health. I believe that one cannot be physically healthy without being mentally healthy. To me, mental health has always been something that I take very seriously. One’s emotions and mental stability can change their whole life, for better or for worse and in doing that, it can change the lives of individuals around them. After being diagnosed with anxiety in the summer of 2017, I was immediately put on medication and placed into therapeutic and psychiatric help. This all came upon me so quickly and once I started talking things out and getting more used to my medication, I noticed that this thing called “anxiety” was living in me for longer than I thought. I always thought it was normal to have trouble breathing before major events, while meeting new people, or when put in a situation of sadness or stress. To me, it was all I had known and it was what my mind and body were used to. After leaving home for Penn State summer session, this feeling that I was so used to had amplified more than I thought was possible. Once I found myself not being able to leave my dorm room, excessively sweating through the night and losing my appetite, I knew that this had gone way beyond a small panic attack. I believe that without realizing the issue at hand and without getting the help I needed, I wouldn’t have been able to continue my college career. That was until I came upon a deep depression in the summer of 2018.
Just when I thought I had conquered this issue, I experienced another side of mental health, which led me to a lasting and deep depression. The most frustrating part about experiencing and learning about myself through this time was when people asked, “why are you so upset?” and that’s the thing, I don’t know. I never know. Anxiety was a bit more understanding and I knew what would trigger my panic attacks, however, when I would wake up in the morning with a pain in my chest, a weight on my shoulders and a darkness in my soul, I could never explain why. So, I got back on the carousel and went back into intense therapy, reoccurring psychiatric visits, and I soon started increasing my dosage in medication. It was at this point that I hit rock bottom. I was so disappointed in myself for letting this disease take over me. I knew that this wasn’t who I was and I knew that there was no reason for me to be feeling this way. I had a great family, great friends, an amazing college career and there was nothing in the world that could change any of that, except for this.
Once I was able to conquer any and all situations, I came out on top. I knew that if I could fight for myself to stay on this planet and to be with the people I love, I could do anything. Today, I view mental health as one of the most important issues in society. I don’t want to use the word “survivor,” but in some instances, I am. I am here now to help those that feel as though everything is crashing down on them and I’m here to show that anyone can come out on top. It’s the people and the resources around you that can do that and ensure your well-being, but it starts with you. Always remember, it’s okay to not be okay.