I believe that only you could decide who you want to be.
Since I was a kid, the grown-ups around me adored me a lot because I was a “good kid” to them. I barely get into troubles and I always knew how to coping with adults politely and respectfully. I was always been told that I was a very well-behaved kid and being a good kid was the most important thing to accomplished. All these characteristics of mine had me benefit a lot when I was a child. I got the most attention and compliments from my family; every Chinese New Year, I always got the most red packets, which I believe is the happiest thing for every kid during Chinese New Year.
To me, the most important thing to me is that my mom was deeply proud of me and she always told me so. My mom raised me up all alone by herself since I was one year old. It was awfully hard for a single mom to raise a child when her revenue was not stable at all means. I knew that she had a very hard time, so making my mom satisfied and not letting her worry about me was everything I care about in my childhood. My biggest dream back then was to earn more money when I grow up and give it to my mom. I was so desperate to please everyone around me but barely focusing on what I really want.
In most of my lifetime, I stay in school just like all other kids. Especially in my high school, we were asked to stay 16 hours a day at school and we barely have the chance to attend extracurricular events. I knew if I attended school and work hard, it would be a satisfaction to my mom. To be frankly, it was easy to stay at school all the time because all we were asked to do was studying and taking tons of exams, even though I did not interested in most of the subjects I learned at all (In Taiwan, we could not choose what subjects we want to learn in high school. We are asked to learn EVERY subject and we have to learn well on ALL of them to get into a better college.) Most of the teachers cared only about what was the best college you could go instead of caring about what you really wanted to do. And I seldom asked myself this question: What do I really want to do?
After I graduated from high school, I realized: I’m an adult now, and I’m taking whole responsibility to my life. But I was so clueless about it. I went to college in Taiwan five years ago and I was not satisfied with my major. I couldn’t attend the college I wanted for media major because it required a very high score. I started to get lost because there was no path to follow. Life is not only about being a “good kid” anymore but being a responsible adult to my own life. I decided to make a change in my life. If I couldn’t attend the college I want in Taiwan, I could try to apply in other countries. In Taiwan, the exam we took like the SAT is the only requirement, which means it doesn’t matter how much you are interested in the major or not. After three years of my college journey in Taiwan, I came here to Penn State and become a “freshman” in 2018 and I’m going to graduate next semester. Now, I’m very enjoying my life at Penn State and I am thankful that I did it for myself.