In a world today where things on television and on social media seem to be so aggressive and cut-throat, I notice a lack of a certain trait that I believe benefits every person in all aspects of their lives: listening. Not just hearing the sound of the person across from them talking, but actually listening, comprehending what the person says, and why that person is saying exactly what they have spoken. Some people may act like there are listening, but I don’t believe people today listen fully to all the statements that are being made that truly shape the person you are hearing.
Listening is a trait I was taught by my family but most importantly, my mother. I can remember a day where I walked into the kitchen while my family was talking, and I had something to tell my mother. As a 3-year-old at the time, I walked right up to her while she was talking and kept speaking up to say what I wanted to say without regards for what everyone else was talking about. I learned quickly from my mother to wait my turn to speak. From then on, I always wanted to make sure a person is fully done speaking before I try to say what I have on my mind. From that, I starting focusing on what people are saying to know when they have made a complete thought and are ready for my response.
Often times in my life, I have felt this has made me seem like a more agreeable person than what I might actually be. There have been times where I have been talking to another person about a controversial topic, and I am hearing what they have to say, taking it in, and making note of each of their thoughts. Outwardly, the other person sees me nodding my head to what they are saying and repeating the words, “yeah,” “yes,” and “okay.” To them, this appears that I am agreeing with everything they are saying or reaffirming their decision, while the opposite may be true. I may not actually agree with what they are saying, but I am listening to them, and they appreciate that. Whenever the time comes where the person has finished giving their side of the story or their thoughts, that’s when I share my thoughts or opinions on what we have been talking about. I’ve found people are more likely to appreciate opposing thoughts and opinions when you have heard all that they have had to say.
I feel my ability to listen to others led me to many of the positions I have earned throughout my life. I captained different sports teams and won leadership awards within those teams because of my ability to listen to my teammates. My teammates would turn to me for advice on how to perform better and the coaches would turn to me for feedback on big decisions. They turned to me because they knew I listened and would be able to make a good decision based off of what I heard.
Whenever I see people share their thoughts today, whether it be on television or on social media, there are often times where I see people are not listening entirely to what the person has to say. When they read or hear a word or phrase that may trigger a negative emotion for them, they immediately hop in with their own opinions or thoughts. This changes a conversation entirely and leads to many of the aggressive interactions we see today.
I’m not saying that disagreement or standing up for what you believe in is wrong. I fully support standing up against the evils in the world today. I believe that people need to be better listeners so that they can fight those evils with a better understanding of what they are up against. Listening makes things in life so much easier for the person who utilizes the skill.
Listening to what others are saying and thinking can help paint a picture of the world for a person fully. A listener can learn more about other peoples’ experiences, beliefs, and values just by hearing out FULLY what they have to say. They do not have to share any of your own thoughts in common with you, and that is totally okay. If you want to make more friends, defeat more enemies, and feel more confident approach the world around you, I believe that a person needs to listen to what is around them and attempt to comprehend it all.