Nobody likes to feel embarrassed. The feeling of your stomach dropping, your cheeks turning red, doing everything in your power to hide from your mistake. I always feared embarrassment until my dad taught me a trick: purposefully embarrass yourself once a day.
I learned this lesson when I was nine years old. I was considered the weird kid which was pretty understandable because I had a crippling obsession with “Toy Story.” But it’s not what it seems. I loved Toy Story because my little sister who was three at the time loved listening to songs like “Woody’s Round Up” and “Jessie the Yodelling Cowgirl.” It became a way to bond and play with her. Unfortunately, I thought everyone appreciated “Toy Story” as much as I did so I made a cardboard cutout of Woody to submit for the artist of the month competition at school. As you can probably guess, I got made fun of, big time.
When I got home that day, I cried to my dad telling him how embarrassed and stupid I felt. I begged him to never let me go back to school. Dramatic, I know. After finally calming down, my dad put his arm around me and told me something that has been ingrained in me ever since. He said, “All great actors embarrass themselves once a day.”
At the time I thought this advice was stupid. Actors get paid to make believe and are celebrated for it. In my mind there was no correlation in submitting a cardboard cut out of Woody and getting paid millions of dollars to act in a movie. But after a few years of remembering this advice, a switch flipped inside of me.
That terrible feeling I associated with embarrassment was similar to the great feeling of excitement. The same way my stomach dropped and my cheeks turned red from making a mistake was the same feeling I had when I saw my crush or walked on the field before a big game. By reframing embarrassment in my mind, I enabled myself to take more risks.
When my dad told me to embarrass myself once a day, he didn’t mean literally go out of my way to make a fool of myself. He meant that I should not be afraid of failure and strive to make as many mistakes as possible so that I would have no regrets. After all, fireworks were the result of a mistake with gunpowder, gravity was discovered because an apple hit Newton square on the head. Many of humanity’s historical innovations were the results of mistakes and yet we look at them as pure genius.
I appreciate the guts it took my nine year old self to submit my artwork even if it wasn’t other people’s cup of tea. Without that experience, I would not be as bold with my choices. Because of this I try to embarrass myself once a day whether that be through answering a question wrong in class, or shooting my shot with a guy. And yeah, I still feel embarrassed every now and then, but I am able to bounce back faster and be comforted by the fact that I tried.
1. Identify the central conflict and structure (cause and effect, transformation, categorical) of this piece. Provide ideas for enhancing the central conflict structure/arrangement. The central conflict of this story is how your submission of a cardboard Woody cut-out led to you being embarrassed. This story is structured as a transformation. The way the conflict is structured in your story is great and I don’t think should you make any changes to that aspect of the story.
2. Could the piece be more sensory or engaging if told another way? Comment on how the style could be strengthened. Provide an example from the draft. The piece could be more engaging by maybe adding that you found strength in making risks every day and not being fearful. More specifically in what ways did this time in your life help you gain more opportunities in the future and how this story has helped others?
3. Name some possibilities for deeper characterization. How could the “I” be developed further? Is there more you would like to know about the relationships between “characters”? Were some details “author oriented” instead of “audience-oriented”? I feel that your “I” statements and descriptions of your feelings are great they offer a very relatable insight because everyone has been embarrassed a few times in their life. The relationship between you and your sister could be developed more since she is the reason you submitted the Woody cardboard cutout. Maybe give the perspective of your sister after you came home from school upset.
4. Did the belief match up with the story? Offer some advice if you felt the piece moved toward a different conclusion. Comment on places to strengthen narrative coherence and narrative fidelity. The belief definitely matches the story and the details and descriptions really enhance that. The story is well-developed and I do not see any problems with its coherence or fidelity.
5. Make a suggestion or two for something the author could move, or change. Though I really enjoy the connection you make with mistakes and Newton and fireworks, the end sentence of that section is mainly focused on mistakes not really the theme of embarrassment and risks as you mentioned earlier. The sentence does not take away from the story’s message however it could center around risks, comfort, and maybe being comfortable with being uncomfortable.