Rhythm. It’s one of the most important sources of calm we can have. Whether you are a dancer, athlete, or runner, rhythm is at the heart. In psychology, rhythm is synonymous with flow. Flow is when everything disappears around you and you are one with the action at hand. It’s an extremely healthy and euphoric practice that you have to work really hard to achieve. For running, flow and rhythm come in the form of runner’s high.
I’ve only experienced runner’s high a handful of times. I’m naturally a sprinter, so getting into long distance running was a real challenge. But, with any addiction, you chase the first high. Ever since I first experienced runner’s high, I run to experience it again. With each mile, I focus my breath, and set my rhythm to increase my chances of flow. I chase the feeling of my heart rate stabilizing, my stride feeling lighter and longer, and a true, unforced smile on my face. Sometimes it happens and sometimes it doesn’t. But this is the mentality I go into every run with.
Recently, runner’s high has felt unachievable. They tell you that every runner hits a block as they train for a marathon. Feeling discouraged and frustrated are normal, but you have to push through to overcome them. For me, I have been extra discouraged because I’ve been struggling to find the time to run. The most time I can allot for myself in the past two weeks has been thirty minutes. This means that every single one of my runs is a speed training run rather than a pace training run.
A pace training run is one in which you run for a longer distance (anything above 5 miles) and focus your breath and read your body so that you can adjust accordingly. A speed training run is one in which you utilize your built endurance to try to run faster to increase heart health. These runs are generally your one to two mile runs. It’s important to practice both types of runs to switch up your training and force your body to adjust under different circumstances. Unfortunately for me, this is more of a mental practice than a physical one.
I’ve always been hyper-competitive. Whether academically or athletically, I strived and still strive to be the best. Coming to college has been a real adjustment because I have had to learn to accept failure with grace rather than approach it with vengeance. This is not to say that I’ve always been the best athlete or smartest person in the class, but I was always the hardest worker. I’ve never let myself fall back on excuses for my own shortcomings. But for marathon training, I’ve had to make mental excuses for why I can’t find the time to run. This creates a war within myself. One in which my body tells me that I can go farther and work harder, and one in which my mind tells me that I need to slow down and regroup. The upside of all of this is that it has forced me to learn patience with myself. Loving yourself does not mean you don’t get frustrated, it’s understanding that your mind and body can be in disagreement but still work to make you better and go farther. So, as I run through this rough patch, I’m praying my mind and body come together and allow me to re-experience flow.
https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-flow-2794768
The conflict between mind and body is a super interesting thing to analyze and I’m really glad you mentioned it. I think that our inner conflicts present themselves in a lot of ways, and with sports, they’re definitely prominent when we’re trying to be our best physically but our minds aren’t letting us. I’ve really enjoyed keeping up with your journey so far and I look forward to reading about your next steps!
I think this was such a good read, instead of giving us just an update you were able to connect your experiences to quite a philosophical idea. I fully understood the struggle between mind and body, especially a someone with depression whose mind and body disagree all the time. I definitely believe that once your schedule clears up a little, you will be able to connect your mind and your body once more. Also, I think running with the goal of a runner’s high is a smart thing as you are pushing your body not for speed or for distance but for a feeling. Furthermore, from my limited knowledge of running, I have heard that around 8 miles runner’s high usually appears. I wish you the best of luck Carolyn, I know you will be able to connect your mind and body and that you will run this marathon.