Looking back on it as a freshman in college, middle school was a big turning point in my life. During the time I struggled with self-image issues, I discovered baking. The cakes and cookies were always ready-made, packed in a box to mix and bake, but the effort I put into preparing them properly and decorating them were all mine.
The idea to do this might have arose from the fact that, during holidays, everyone had a job. My mom would buy the sodas and make roast beef, my Aunt Phia would make macaroni and cheese, my Grandma’s house would be the venue and so on. I wanted something to do, so I wandered toward the baking aisle and started from there.
My family has always been frugal with their money, so the amount and type of things we can afford besides necessities wasn’t much. However, when she could, my mom would pay for the mix I needed and I’d prepare it for the holidays. Since this mini-debut of mine, I’ve tried making things from scratch and have failed miserably many times. But the most rewarding part of the process is not making the cake, brownies, or cookies successfully, but bringing it to my Grandma’s house the day of the event and seeing everyone take a piece. To me, that is the baker’s joy. Seeing the pleasure his or her food brings to others.
At the same time, I was also stuck in a place where I felt unhappy and alien. I went to a charter school from kindergarten to eighth grade, so by the time we moved to middle school most of us knew or at least saw each other before. However, middle school is also the time when hormones come into play. So of course, I began to notice all the girls in my class were becoming attractive, wearing makeup, accessorizing, wearing their hair different. We weren’t little kids anymore. Now their were boys and their were girls.
I started to look at myself critically. My legs, nose and lips were too big, my chest too small, my hair too kinky, and my eyes and skin too brown. It didn’t help that we had to wear a uniform, the differences were only that much more obvious. Needless to say, I was stuck in a rut and I wasn’t confident enough to come out.
It wasn’t until I graduated and started high school that I became brave enough to surpass it. The scenery was so diverse that I was in awe by the different types of skin tones, body types, sizes, and fashions. And yes, there were no uniforms! I felt like everyone had found themselves in the clothes they wore and wore it with confidence. And so, I was forced to once again face the image I saw in the mirror every morning. And as I kept doing this, I began to realize that what I saw wasn’t that bad.
Through this process of debating blog topics and questioning happiness, I decided on making a self-awareness blog for those of us who don’t take the time to stop and look anymore.
When you consider us as a society, we often rely on outer appearances so often that we dress even our daily lives up on social media to seem more appealing. There are, of course, people who dress how they like and display themselves as such in the world and online. But how often does anyone set aside a few minutes after a shower to appreciate themselves physically and relax? I don’t mean this sexually, though I won’t deny that’s one way to go about this. However, relaxing can be whatever is comfortable to you. Like, laying down and taking a nap or being on your phone or laptop.
Just… Being.
So this is my first suggestion. It may be impossible with college lifestyle, assuming your roommate doesn’t want to walk in on you naked; but in a time of solitude or when you’re back at home I recommend giving this a try. Not frequently, but once in a while as a change of pace. I hope that you find this transforming, or at least think of it as nice way to relax.