Hello, RCL class! Welcome to my second passion post. These don’t really follow a theme, to be completely honest, or at least they weren’t SUPPOSED to. I feel like they are going to slowly become about me and my journey of finding myself, I guess? I don’t know if that’s the right phrase, but we’ll go with that.

Anyways. Last week, I wrote about being a happy person, and finding a way to do so by choosing happiness. This week, I want to write about becoming someone I can be proud of.

I generally like myself as a person, as arrogant as that sounds. But, I’ve never really been passionate about working, in any capacity. I’ve never felt really motivated to be a better me, if you will. Well, this has really changed for me in the last few weeks.

Why? Well, I wasn’t really thrilled with my grades and my overall performance last semester. My high school’s curriculum wasn’t really challenging compared with the elementary curriculum I grew up with in a different district. So, I never really needed to feel motivated to work or study because I had already learned everything that we were learning currently. So, I breezed through my work, you could say. I coasted, and it worked. I guess I just assumed that would still happen, and boy, did I have a rude awakening. I had a much lower GPA than I expected of myself, and it didn’t go over well with my family. I mean, I’m spending a significant amount of money to be here, and they don’t want me to waste it (which is fair). My dad ended up telling me that if I don’t improve this semester, there would be a serious discussion about whether I continued my education at Penn State or not. I love it here, so I’d really rather that NOT be a conversation we have to have.

So, I’ve really changed my way of thinking and acting in the past two weeks. I genuinely feel like a new person, somehow, and it’s one of the first times recently that I feel genuinely exhilarated by myself or something that I did. I just feel so great about myself, in the least arrogant way possible.

What did I do to create this feeling in myself? Well, we’re going into our third week of the semester here, so I know it’s early. But, for the first time in my life that I’ve been ahead on all of my work. I have finished my entire week of work before the week started. For example, these blog posts are being published on Sunday the 26th. I have everything that can be done for the week at the moment, done. It feels like a totally different experience than I’ve ever had, and that sounds so stupid but it’s a serious change for me. I’m not just coasting and flying be the seat of my pants anymore; I’m ahead of where I need to be. I’m where I want to be.

Old me would’ve said “haha, couldn’t be me” at myself and never thought about it again. I know it’s early, but I’m going to keep this going. I’m going to be a happy, productive, and energetic girl doing her best to be her best. I encourage you all to do so as well, if you aren’t already. It’s an amazing feeling. So, that’s me for this week, and all subsequent, hopefully. A different girl.