Often, there is a stigma attached to doing things alone—going to a movie or eating a meal by oneself, for example, can evoke confusion or pity from those around. And far too often, people blur the line between being alone and being lonely, solitude and loneliness.

To me, solitude is serendipitous. There is a sense of freedom that comes along with being alone. Some of my favorite nights have been spent driving around aimlessly in my car, up and down windy roads for hours on end. I have learned to appreciate solitude, even revel in it. There was never one groundbreaking moment that led me to value the power of spending time alone– rather, it happened over time. Growing up, I slowly realized that I was not surrounding myself with the right people and they were beginning to define me. I felt like I didn’t know myself without them, and I certainly did not like myself with them, so I slowly started to do more things alone. It started with doing small things alone, such as walking to class alone, until I felt comfortable enough to do bigger things such as seeing a movie alone or traveling. Those two experiences alone have had an immense impact on who I am. The more time I spend alone, the more I know myself.

Ultimately, having people in your life whom you cherish is one of the most important things in life. I have a group of friends who mean the world to me and bring me up every day– but without spending time alone, I would not know myself without them. Time alone gives me the ability to be creative, be productive, and more than anything it heightens my sense of self awareness. Some days solitude is sweet, other days it’s serendipitous– but when it’s painful, it isn’t solitude.