External Influences on Children’s Choice of Toys
Peer Pressure and Rough and Tumble Play
There are many articles and surveys that support the idea of rough and tumble play among young children, particularly boys. But, are there social repercussions for those who fall outside of the typical gendered play activities?
“People may feel pressure to conform so they fit in or are accepted, or so they don’t feel awkward or uncomfortable. When people are unsure of what to do in a social situation, they naturally look to others for cues about what is and isn’t acceptable.”
(The Nemours Foundation, n.d.)
A study done on grown men revealed that boys begin to feel the pressures to be masculine typically around the age of thirteen years old, with masculinity being defined as tough and unfeeling and hiding any type of feminine qualities (Gillespie, 2021). Passivity and quietness are not expected qualities for young boys, leaving those who are more reserved or interested in quiet activities feeling pressured to be more “boyish”. Another study conducted among 17- and 18-year-olds found that “boys who were seen as ‘weak’ or ‘girly’ were socially excluded” and “were not included in sports, projects and outings” (AWARE, 2017). According to Eileen Kennedy-Moore of Psychology Today, “about 40 percent of boys say they don’t like play fighting, so they tend to play other games” (2015). Desperate parents who worry that their son isn’t masculine enough, partially due to a lack in rough and tumble play, seek advice for their son’s hardships. When boys will be boys, and boyish behavior is important to development, what do we do when our boys are not like the others? What if they don’t like rough and tumble play? Additionally, what standards are we setting about play as parents and adult?
Consider the upcoming video, which shows how fathers can engage in rough and tumble play with their children. Though the dad has both boy and girl children, the focus of the video is about how dads can bond with their children while engaging in fun and constructive play, an idea that is even mentioned in the details section for the video. There are even rules in the video for how children can rough and tumble play with their fathers without getting hurt. Even though young girls are included, the message is that fathers will be the parent who engages in tougher play, thereby showing young girls that those qualities will not be particularly helpful to them as they age.
For girls, engaging in rough and tumble play may force them to “relinquish their identity as a girl” (Holland, 2003, p. 25). Tomboyishness typically sets girls who engage in the practice apart from their peers. Passivity, quietness, and cooperation are valued and rewarded in females, leaving those who deviate from the norm weird or strange. Even in today’s climate, where girls are encouraged to be active and moves like 2023 Barbie exist, which perpetuate the idea that women exist in a historically unequal climate and move to change it, we still see evidence that rough and tumble play among girls is considered unnatural. “Weird Barbie”, for example, in 2023 Barbie, has become weird, unattractive, and always in the splits because she has been played with too hard. As a result, the other Barbies have shunned her and referred to her as weird, something that Weird Barbie is very aware of. Though Weird Barbie offers great comic relief in the movie, the idea still stands: Girls who deviate from societal play value norms are strange, weird, outcasts.
External Influences on Children/Adolescent Clothing
Inspiration for this part of the external part of the exhibit came from Chapter 9 of Buckingham, this chapter focused on peer pressure and the reason children and adolescents make their decisions on clothing and toys. Buckingham states ‘Peer pressure’ is frequently perceived as a key influence on children’s requests for purchases, and is often seen to possess an irresistible force. Access to consumer culture – owning or merely knowing about key aspects of media, toys, and other merchandise – provides a key means of establishing status and acceptance (Buckingham, p. 164). Children look at their peers’ clothing, what is sold in the store, and what is promoted on TV and social media for their influences. Interestingly enough there is more pressure on boys than girls in certain aspects of clothing, with Clare Rose (2010) has shown how rapid innovations in design – more in boys’ clothing than in girls’ – in the late nineteenth century were used to drive consumer demand, and she recounts incidents of how this in turn became a focus of competitiveness and bullying in the playground. In recent years, however, the emphasis appears to have shifted from clothing in general to brands more specifically: as brand names and logos have increasingly been on display on the clothing itself, brands themselves have come to be used as key signifiers – as means of making claims about one’s own identity, and of judging others (Phoenix, 2009) (Buckingham, p. 173).
Continuing with this inspiration, I decided to focus on shoes and the expectation/pressure to have basketball shoes. With outstanding costs, several parents and students cannot keep up. From a short expert on Humans of New York they quoted a teenager who shared “At my high school, the first kid to get a pair of new Jordans was the king, and the kid who couldn’t afford them was bait for the sharks. My mom and I didn’t have much money so I got teased a lot. Sometimes it got so bad that I’d have panic attacks” (Humans of New York, n.d).
Closing on this idea of status built through shoes, please watch this video discussing why Shaq left Reebok. Recently making headlines again on Reddit, brings to attention that despite the time these were produced it is still a current day issue.
- Was there any item of clothing you felt you needed in school? (Mine were Uggs and rainbow sandals)
- Were there stores that were “special occasion” due to their price tag? (Mine were Justice and Limited Too, think birthdays)
- How questionable are knockoffs? A good solution or furthering the teasing?
Peer Pressure and Knock-off Pokémon Cards
Collectible trading cards like Pokémon cards have been a cherished part of childhoods for generations, and they hold a unique place in many people’s hearts. As a child, I am sure many of us may recall the excitement of collecting these cards, trading with friends in the neighborhood or at school, and using your imagination of the extraordinary powers these cards possessed! The desire to own specific cards was often influenced by what our friends had and what was considered valuable. But, did you ever consider trading your authentic Yu-Gi-Oh cards with knock-offs? Those cards your friend had with extra power may have just been knock-offs! This scenario exemplifies the impact of external influences on children’s toy choices. The desire to fit in, share experiences, and own what others have can significantly influence a child’s interests and choices. This experience ties into the broader theme of the influence of social interactions and peer pressure on toy preferences.
By paying attention to fonts, symbols, and design details, you can confidently differentiate authentic cards from counterfeits. Learn how to spot a fake Yu-Gi-Oh HERE.
Can peer pressure be a good thing?
In her talk, Tisha Shah discusses how peer pressure can sometimes be a positive influence in a person’s life. She explores the concept of positive peer pressure and provides examples of how it can motivate individuals to set higher goals, achieve more, and make better choices. Tisha Shah emphasizes the importance of surrounding oneself with positive peers who can inspire personal growth and success. Do you agree?
How can you help students who are susceptible to peer pressure?
Geoffrey L. Cohen, a professor at Stanford University, inquiries the topic of peer pressure and the psychology of self-integrity. He shares a personal anecdote about his son’s experience with peer pressure and explains how the need to protect and enhance one’s self-integrity can lead individuals to conform to others, even when their views are negative. Cohen highlights that destructive or anti-social behavior in teens often stems from a desire to belong and be accepted by peers, emphasizing that punitive approaches like suspension can do more harm than good. Instead, he suggests fostering self-integrity through activities that connect individuals with their core values and encourage them to express and act upon those values, ultimately helping them find a sense of belonging.
How Advertising Rewires Kids’ Brains
In this video, The Story of Stuff Project makes the argument that advertising rewires kids’ brains and has a profound influence on their cognitive and emotional development. The representative makes says, “We’re not treating kids like shapers of the future; we are treating them as shoppers of the future.” Do you agree? We would love to hear your thoughts’!
Adult Influence Over Children’s Toys and Play
Adults play a crucial role in shaping their children’s choices when it comes to toys and play. From infancy through early childhood, parents and caregivers are the primary providers of the toys children play with. They can influence these choices through their purchases, encouragement, and the environment they provide to their child. Their choices can affect a child’s development in various ways, such as influencing their interests, cognitive development, and social skills. Whether through gender norms, cultural values, or personal preferences, adults can inadvertently limit or expand a child’s exposure to different types of play and toys. Therefore, it is essential for adults to be mindful of the messages they convey and the opportunities they offer, allowing children to explore a wide range of toys and play experiences that promote creativity, learning, and personal growth. Below is a talk by Alex Elliot Lockhart talking about the importance of play in a child’s life.
Lockhart talks about a camp he held for children ages 5 to 11 where he allowed the children to play in the wilderness without the restrictions of a planned set of events for the camp. Understandably so, the parents of the children were skeptical; however, Lockhart discusses his observations of children’s limitless imagination and ability to create play out of seemingly nothing. There may have been parents who pulled their children from this camp or a camp similar to this due to a lack of structure, but this only serves to restrain a child’s ability to play and learn to exercise their creativity. Lockhart’s camp is an excellent example of the importance of allowing a kid to explore their imagination and play without restriction.
As children grow, adults continue to exert influence over their choice of toys and play by providing guidance and setting boundaries. Parents and caregivers can encourage specific interests or talents by selecting toys that align with their child’s budding passions, such as instruments, art supplies, or science kits. However, it’s crucial for adults to strike a balance between guiding and allowing their children to explore their own preferences, helping them build independence and decision-making skills. Overall, the choices adults make regarding toys and play can have a lasting impact on a child’s development, and thoughtful guidance can help foster well-rounded and confident individuals.
Lastly, the video below exemplifies the natural inclination adults may feel to adhere to gender norms when introducing boys and girls to particular toys. Given the importance of toys in children’s development, this bias that adults hold, some unknowingly, can have a major impact on the cognitive and social development of a child.
References
AWARE. (2017). Survey: 9 in 10 teenage boys face social pressures to be “manly”, including through violence. AWARE. https://www.aware.org.sg/2017/07/survey-9-in-10-teenage-boys-face-social-pressures-to-be-manly-including-through-violence/
Buckingham, David. The Material Child : Growing up in Consumer Culture, Polity Press, 2011. ProQuest Ebook Central, https://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/pensu/detail.action?docID=1174276.
Cohen, G. L. (2022, September 28). Why Students Give In to Peer Pressure. Here’s How to Help Them Resist It (Opinion). Education Week. https://www.edweek.org/leadership/opinion-why-students-give-in-to-peer-pressure-heres-how-to-help-them-resist-it/2022/09
Gillespie, C. (2021). How social pressure to ‘be a man’ can influence aggressive behavior. Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/social-pressure-influences-mens-perception-of-manhood-5105283
Holland, P. (2003). Boys will be boys and girls will sit nicely. In P. Holland, We don’t play with guns here: War, weapon and superhero play in the early years. (pp. 15-29). Open University Press.
How Advertising Rewires Kids’ Brains [YouTube Video]. In YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGN1ZEABk_Y
How reebok lost shaq to walmart. (n.d.). Retrieved October 22, 2023, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EqLCt2iRzvI
How to Spot Fake Yu-Gi-Oh! Cards. (2022). Yu-Gi-Oh! Card Guide. https://www.yugiohcardguide.com/fake-yugioh-cards/index.html
Humans of new york. (n.d.). Humans of New York. Retrieved October 22, 2023, from https://www.humansofnewyork.com/post/137834849486/at-my-high-school-the-first-kid-to-get-a-pair-of
Kennedy-Moore, E. (2015). Do boys need rough and tumble play?. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/growing-friendships/201506/do-boys-need-rough-and-tumble-play
TED-Ed Student Talks. (2019). Peer pressure can be a positive thing | Tisha Shah | Jamnabai Narsee School [YouTube Video]. In YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QS-l63sg5X
The Nemours Foundation. (n.d.). Peer pressure. Nemours TeensHealth. https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/peer-pressure.html.
Was there any item of clothing you felt you needed in school? (Mine were Uggs and rainbow sandals)
Going to a private school I had to wear a uniform from Kindergarten through 8th grade, so the main article of clothing that I could pick out were my shoes. I wanted Ugg boots and Nike sneakers. It’s funny how special a certain brand can make you feel like you fit in. I also remember wanting a North Face winter jacket, because at the time that’s what all the trend was!
How questionable are knockoffs? A good solution or furthering the teasing?
I think knockoffs allow people from multiple socioeconomic backgrounds access to looks that they might not have been able to afford otherwise. I also think that it opens up many other business opportunities for companies to take ideas from luxury brands and make them their own. I think this is a really good question, and I feel like I could be swayed by whether or not it’s a good solution or furthering the teasing. I’m curious to read what other people think.
Was there any item of clothing you felt you needed in school?
Yes, so many! In middle school, it was Hollister t-shirts and Birkenstock clogs. I grew up with two brothers and my mom is not particularly feminine, so I always felt like I was behind my peers fashion-wise. It was such a big deal when I finally convinced my mom to buy me Hollister clothes – she refused for a long time because they were so expensive (and, let’s be, honest, in retrospect: totally ugly!). In high school, the brands changed to Vineyard Vines, J.Crew, Tory Burch… all sorts of things I still couldn’t afford but were what many of my wealthy peers were wearing at the prep school I attended. Now, as a teacher at the same school, the “popular” brands have changed, but there are still “must-have” items for many of the kids: Lululemon everything, and Airforce Ones for a while (although I’m told those aren’t cool any more by some of my students). A couple things are encouraging to me, though: 1) students dress somewhat more diversely than I felt like they did when I was in middle and high school. They don’t all want to shop at the same three stores, and there seems to be more individually identity expressed through clothing. 2) At least at my school, thrifting is cool. Kids are more impressed by one-of-a-kind thrifted finds than shiny new items from expensive brands. I think this is both related to this generation’s sensitivity to the climate crisis and their desire to be unique. And their obsession with Emma Chamberlain.
Great exhibit here! And Thank You for activating a memory for me with my dad! I had almost forgotten how my brother and I *ADORED* wrestling with my dad- we’d each take turns trying to pin him and always getting pinned- then we’d tag each other out like World Wrestlers and go get cold water from the fridge for “energy”.
My era clothing item was Gloria Vanderbilt jeans!
Thank you for this thoughtful post!
Thanks for sharing the video of the rough and tumble play. I see this type of play with my own children and their dad and, although it is clear they enjoy this type of play and seek it at times, I did not really appreciate the value until this week’s readings as well as the video you included here to reinforce these ideas. Learning to understand personal physical strength and social skills can be monitored through adults and children in a safe way with clear boundaries – perhaps rethinking the value of this type of play in schools over the no play-fighting policies that deny child development research can help children to develop and appreciate their bodies, interests and relationships with others in a more positive way.
As far as clothing fads…it was the red-tag Levis. Not the orange tag which of course were the cheaper version and could be purchased at discount stores. I would have been rather caught dead than to wear this cheaper version – although there was no way I would be allowed to have the more expensive ones. A person was better off having no brand jeans than the orange tag.
I liked your section on Peer Pressure. I don’t want to believe that there is something’s I like in this life just due to peer pressure but that is definitely the case! Your part about reading cards is too true because I remember lying to my friends that I had all these cool cards just to fit in. I remember tearing my jeans and making them dirty just to look athletic as a boy. Children are extremely impressionable and sometimes when parent don’t care enough about the impact their children have, they forget that effects of some of the choices they make, especially with fashion! Great side exhibit!
I really enjoyed your exhibit. I feel most of us went through peer pressure to look a certain way similar to our friends especially high school. Children are trying to be part of group. This brought me back to our reading, The Material Child, where they stated, “‘Peer pressure’ is frequently perceived as a key influence on children’s requests for purchases, and is often seen to possess an irresistible force.” ( Buckingham, pg. 164) I loved the Shaq video and how he promoted his shoes that were economical so all the children could benefit from wearing his shoes. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you for a thoughtful exhibit. The mention of Tomboyishness brought me back to my childhood. I grew up with an older brother who loved to play soccer, criquet, and Brazilian dodgeball on the streets of our neighborhood in Brazil. I loved following him around, and as a result, I became very interested in sports. In Brazil, where female beauty is worshiped, girls who excel in sports, often categorized as “masculine,” encounter societal expectations to “tone down” their competitive nature to conform to more traditional gender roles. Growing up, I could sense the internal struggle my mom had with my engagement in sports. While she never discouraged me, she didn’t encourage me either. Nike shoes & Company backpack (Brazilian brand) were definitely a status symbol in school. We wore uniforms, so shoes, accessories, and fancy school supplies were the must-haves.
Raisa
Hi Sara, Nick, Stephanie, and Danielle,
I love the variety of “artifacts” you’ve included for exploring these external influences on children’s choices of toys, shoes, and play! In the “Rough and tumble play” video, one of the ideas that caught my attention especially was “Keep trying…you might get me next time.” It’s a great example of the “lessons” this kind of play can teach.
Kate McKinnon is such a great actress. In case you haven’t already seen this, I think you’d enjoy checking out Jessica Wang’s “Weird Barbie was inspired by David Bowie — and hairless cats”:
https://ew.com/movies/weird-barbie-inspiration-david-bowie-kate-mckinnon/
The Shaq O’Neal video is informative. I wasn’t familiar with his 1992-1998 Reebok deal and appreciate knowing about his decisions.
Now I know how to spot a fake Yu-Gi-Oh card!
Tisha Shah’s TED-Ed student talk is insightful. I love her naming of the positive types of peer pressures. Your question about surrounding oneself with positive peers brings to my mind times when a great musician, for instance, brings out the best in other musicians when they play together.
In Brett Chamberlin’s “How Advertising Rewires Kids’ Brains” video, it’s thought provoking to consider “shapers” vs “shoppers” of the future. Josh Golin’s insights about having stuff versus valuing relationships gives us much food for thought. I think about children who are “spoiled” with material things and how that might impact their life satisfaction later on.
In Alex Elliott Lockhart’s “Let children play” TEDx Talk, it was poignant to hear the quote from George Bernard Shaw “…we grow old because we stop playing.” I loved his description of the “flow” experience of being deeply engaged in play.
Thanks for your engaging exhibit!
We also used the BBC video on our side exhibit! It really is a great experiment in how we are conditioned to do certain behaviours that we may not ever realize are a thing. I found it interesting that they were often caught off guard when approached with the situation.
I love Shaq’s story about Reebok. I remember when he talked about it way back when and I think it was one of the best business moves that he could have made. Not only did he create something affordable but he then used his fame to market it knowing that it would help sell the shoes but also give parents are real option.