Dating and relationships are one area where gender inequality has always been around. There a variety of stereotypes about the roles that men and women should play in relationships. Over time, some of these stereotypes have begun to change but they have not been eliminated.
Before we delve into the current state of dating, I want to cover what dating used to be like in the 1900’s. For starters, a man was supposed to ask the woman out on a date. He would then pick her up by knocking on the door and then drive them to their destination. On the date, the woman would act lady-like and proper by getting something like a salad. The man would order something to showcase his masculinity, like a steak or burger, and then pay for the meal. Almost all of the responsibility for the date was on the man.
Image Courtesy of Kezia Noble
In recent years, things have taken a turn. Now, women are beginning to take on a more active role in dating. Often times, the man and the woman will meet at the date location rather than the man picking up the woman. Also, a lot of times women will offer to split the bill or pay half of the time. However, the reason that women often pick up the tab stems from gender inequality. A lot of times when women offer to pay for dates they do so that they do not know their date anything. Essentially, women do not want to feel obligated to have sex or provide sexual favors for a man because he pays for dinner on their date.
While women paying for dinner, seems like a step towards their independence in dating culture it really comes from a negative place. There is a societal standard that has been instilled into women insinuating that they owe a man something because he takes them on a date. This is a blatant example of gender inequality because women do not owe themselves or their bodies to anyone for anything.
If a couple is able to get past these dating stereotypes, things begin to change in the dynamic of the relationship but the man still typically plays a dominant role. It is more common to see the husband driving with the wife in the passenger seat. It is more common to see the husband pay for dinner even though the credit card is from a joint account. It is more common for the husband to do heavy lifting activities. It is more common that the wife cooks dinner for the entire family. It is more common that the wife takes care of lighter tasks around the home like grocery shopping. It is more common that the wife takes the children to appointments. So, men still hold the masculine role while the women hold the feminine role.
Most of the time,people do not even deal with these stereotypes because they ignore dating and take part in the hook-up culture. Thanks to apps like Tinder, men and women are always on the prowl for singles of their age. They will swipe right or left, depending on the picture. Men will set up dates with multiple women in a short period of time. They do not care about the women as individuals, they care about getting the woman into bed with them. Men will even compete with one another to get with the hottest women or will try to one-up each other. This demeans women. Women may not know about all of the other dates but it still diminishes their worth.
Image Courtesy of Tinder.com
While this post seems negatively skewed towards men in dating and hook-up culture, these are generally representative of the facts and testimonies online. Yet, there are other factors involved in the marriage and dating situation as well. Now, many men and women are pushing off marriage, children, and settling down. Therefore, women are more open to the hook-up culture as well and society’s culture is changing as well. Men can no longer rely on finding a wife who will stay-at-home all day and take care of the house, the laundry, and the children. But, women can also no longer rely on finding a man who will have a job that supports the entire family and takes on the typical roles of a man in relationship. Norms are no longer the same for both genders, so expectations of both genders need to change.
Marriage, dating, and hook-up culture are all relevant topics in our society that contribute to gender inequality. Unless, men begin to respect women there will always be inequality in this area. There needs to a shift in perception about respect in relationships for these things to change.