I was not planning on writing this post on this particular topic until I was standing at THON during the final four. I was standing with my arms around the people beside me swaying from side-to-side as we watched the video of all of the Four Diamonds children who were taken too soon. I noticed that all of the girls around me, myself included, had tears streaming down their faces with no regard for who noticed. On the other hand, all of the boys were choking back their tears and trying to not let their emotions get the best of them. Therefore, I want to look at gender inequality on the basis of emotional expression.

Why is that men feel the need to hide their emotions? Not just their tears, but at times their happiness as well. If emotion were on a scale of 1-10, society makes it seem that men should only ever range from a 4-8. Men should never hit the low of sadness or the high of happiness.

On the other hand, women are expected to be emotional. Society expects that women will range from a 1 through a 10 on the perceived scale of emotion.

It is discriminatory for society to assume that men should be strong, tough, and un-emotional. Yet, it is also discriminatory for society to assume the women are too emotional, sensitive, and fragile. The gender inequality flows both ways in this situation.

There is biological evidence to support this notion of emotional inequality. Studies have shown that women, in comparison to men, experience stronger and more frequent negative emotions. Women are more prone to negative stimuli and will elicit a stronger response to negative stimuli. Contrastingly, men are more susceptible to stimuli that are perceived to be threatening or erotic. Although there are a large number of studies that confirm gender differences in emotional experience, the differences are smaller than expected. This insinuates that much of the difference then comes from societal pressures and expectations.

At a young age, boys and girls are equal on the scale of emotional expressivity. They both hold onto to their parent’s hands in crowded places, sleep with stuffed animals, and give their friends hugs. Around second grade, all of this starts to change. Boys are taught not to be “sissies”, to “take it like a man”, and that “real men don’t cry.” Once this change occurs, there are several emotions that take on a different meaning for men and women.

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Anger
Anger is seen as a manly emotion and obviously women do feel anger too, but it is taboo for them to express this. Women often mask their anger with sadness. For example, if a woman is upset with her boyfriend for not returning her calls she may say that she is sad about the situation when in actuality she is angry with him. She feels the need to not express such a harsh emotion for fear of judgement.

Aggression
Aggression is another emotion that is viewed as appropriate for a man but not a woman. If men are angry about something and need a way to let out their emotion and they punch a wall or kick something it is not viewed as harshly or negatively as a woman in the same situation.

Fearful
Fear factor is something that a woman can have, but not a man. During a scary movie, it is normal and almost expected for a woman to grab onto a friend or boyfriend’s hand at certain points. Meanwhile, if a man were to do this he would likely be called “gay” or “weak” by one of his friends.

These are just a few examples of how specific emotions are meant to be expressed by one gender exclusively. As I have been writing this post, I have come to the realization that it is amazing how much influence societal pressures have on the way that we act and react. This seems like an obvious statement, but I think it is something that we are so accustomed to that we fail to realize it at times. It reminds me of the Margaret Mead Gender Study.

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In the study, there were three groups where gender roles were very diverse. The Tchambuli had a genuine reversal of Western culture roles, with the woman being the dominant, managing partner. The Arapesh had equality for males and females with the ideal that they are both cooperative, unaggressive, and responsive to the needs and demands of others. The Mundugumor ideal was undisciplined, very violent males and females. All of these are very different from Western society.

It is amazing to see how different gender roles can be based on how society expects them to be. Can you image what it would be like if the US adopted a Arapesh view?

 

 

 

 

That is to have children or not to have children. This is a question that most people ask themselves at some point in their lives. Most people feel strongly about having children, one way or the other, but there are a lot of other factors involved.

One may wonder how the topic of whether or not to have children is related to gender inequality. However, the choice itself, the aftereffect, and societal perceptions about having children are all different based on your gender. For women, this question generally has greater consequences although some may say it has greater rewards as well.

To make the most obvious point possible, women are the only ones who can biologically bear children. As previously stated this is painstakingly obvious but important to consider when making the choice to have or not to have children. A woman must decide if she wants to put herself through the process of pregnancy. Although everyone hopes for an easy pregnancy, reality is that there are a lot of side-effects. These side-effects can include pain, fatigue, and nausea. Those are the physical side-effects of pregnancy but there are plenty of mental and emotional ones as well.

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Further, during pregnancy it is inevitable that women will gain weight. They must decide whether they are willing to give up their bodies for pregnancy and nursing. There is no guarantee that a women’s body will ever return to the way it was pre-pregnancy. The woman also has no idea whether her husband or partner, if they are in the picture, will love their new body. This may not seem like a big deal, but it is important to women in relationships.

Another factor for women to consider, is that the man can either not be in the picture or walk away at any point. If a couple is dating and they break-up during the pregnancy, the woman is still carrying the child. So then, the woman will likely go on and give birth. In most situations like these, the woman will then become a single mother. While the mother can go to court for child support from the father, this can a time-consuming and expensive process. Therefore, a lot of women in this situation spend that time working to financially support the child and  take care of the child.

Those are three different factors that women, for the most part, must consider before they even decide to have children. There are some women who know that they want to have children and do not care about any of these things, but most are at least affected by these things.

After one decides to have children and gives birth, they deal with the aftereffect. Most women with white-collar jobs will get sixty days of maternity leave so they have time off and a guarantee to get their job back. On the other hand, most women working blue-collar jobs will not get maternity leave so if they have a child they may not have their job. A child is a huge financial responsibility so not having a job would be detrimental.

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Then there is societal perception. Women are more subject to these societal views than men. When women begin to get into their late 20’s and early 30’s, they are constantly asked when they are having children. It is expected that all women should have and want to have children at some point in their lives. So, when women are passing through the prime child bearing period and are not pregnant or have children society thinks that something is wrong with them.

On the other hand, men are applauded for being bachelors into their 50’s and do not feel any pressure to have children. Since men are not the ones carrying the baby, they are able to have children at much later ages. Society does not judge unhealthy men, nearly as harshly, for being unhealthy and having children in comparison to how they judge women.

Further, women are often seen as selfish for not wanting to have children. Society judges women who do not want to be bound by the responsibility of a child. Yet, there is nothing wrong with that. If women want to grow within their careers or personally by travelling instead of having children, they should be able to do that without the influence of society.

Obviously, having children is a very personal decision. However, these decisions are different based along the lines of gender. I would like to think that some of these difficulties women face will be alleviated by the time I am ready to have children. However, realistically I do not think this will happen because our society discriminates on biological differences and this is the greatest example of a biological difference.

Grey hair, wrinkles, sagging skin. All three of these physical attributes are stereotypical signs of aging. Therefore, they are things that our society deathly wants to avoid. Nobody wants to look old. Women, especially, do not want to be seen as looking old or being old. Another one of those topics divided along the line of gender.

I was inspired to write about gender inequality and aging from a headline that I saw right after the Golden Globe Awards. On Facebook, an article popped up in my newsfeed titled “Jessica Biel Gloriously Let Her Gray Roots Show at the Golden Globes, and WeAre Here For It.” The article went on to talk about Jessica’s “ethereal updo” that upon careful analysis contained her grey roots. The article spectated that it could be a subtle move to complement women wearing all-black to protest sexual harassment in Hollywood. Whether that is true or not, the fact remains that aging for men and women, especially, in the public eye is divided along the lines of gender.

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There are a variety of biological differences in men vs. women when it comes to aging. For example, women have shown less age-associated cognitive decline than men. While these differences are contributing factors, I want to focus on the societal perception of aging on the lines of gender.

First, I want to talk about grey hair. From the title of the article about Jessica Biel’s grey hair, it is obvious that seeing grey hair on women, especially ones in the public eye, is very rare. Women are expected to spend large sums of money to color their hair and cover-up any signs of aging. On the other hand, men with grey hair are all over Hollywood. Not only that, but their grey is considered masculine and sexy. Look at George Clooney and Richard Gere and Anderson Cooper, they are “silver foxes” or handsome grey-haired men.

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For men, aging and a “touch of grey” comes with the qualities of maturity, dignity, and wisdom. His visual signs of aging are accepted and also appreciated by society. On the other hand, women, who have just as much wisdom, dignity, and maturity, are seen as getting old when they show signs of aging. Clearly, getting old is not a societally desirable feat.

Commercials and advertisements for beauty and hair products very effectively demonstrate the inequality of aging. Women are encouraged to use Botox fillers, creams for wrinkles, and a host of other youth-oriented products to look more attractive. Further, there are many more weight loss programs geared towards women to ensure that they maintain a desirable physique as they get older. Although unfair, it is reality that an aging woman is considered less desirable than an aging man.

The job market also changes by gender as aging occurs. Based on my last blog about the job market, it is true that older women have a more difficult time getting hired than older men and they receive less compensation for their work that older men. This is true in both traditional job markets like banking and law as well is in Hollywood and Broadway. There are a few exceptions like Meryl Streep and Bette Middle, but it is the more norm for women to experience more difficulty than men.

Then there is the question of relationships as one ages. Divorce is very common already and becoming more popular. With the rate of divorce increasing, many men and women in their 40s, 50s, and 60s are single. It is societally acceptable for a divorced man in his mid-50s to go after and date women in their 40s. Yet, if a mid-50s woman were to date a man in his 40s she would be considered a cougar, an older woman who goes after younger men. Why is the societal standard different for men and women in the age of their romantic partner?

For that question, I have no concrete answer. It is true that there are more women in general and more women living to older ages. Therefore, more women than men are single at the end of life but that does not change the disparity of societal perception about age of a partner.

There is not clear answer as to why there are gender differences in aging for men and women. Although it is somewhat sad that there needs to be articles celebrating a woman’s visible grey roots at an awards show, it emphasizes that there is progress being made towards the issue. When women in Hollywood do something, the rest of society tends to follow. Now that Jessica Biel showed her grey roots on the red carpet, women may be willing to show theirs at the grocery store. It is one small step but a lot of small steps eventually equate to big, societal change. Only time will tell if the barriers of this inequality are being broken down and rewritten