That is to have children or not to have children. This is a question that most people ask themselves at some point in their lives. Most people feel strongly about having children, one way or the other, but there are a lot of other factors involved.
One may wonder how the topic of whether or not to have children is related to gender inequality. However, the choice itself, the aftereffect, and societal perceptions about having children are all different based on your gender. For women, this question generally has greater consequences although some may say it has greater rewards as well.
To make the most obvious point possible, women are the only ones who can biologically bear children. As previously stated this is painstakingly obvious but important to consider when making the choice to have or not to have children. A woman must decide if she wants to put herself through the process of pregnancy. Although everyone hopes for an easy pregnancy, reality is that there are a lot of side-effects. These side-effects can include pain, fatigue, and nausea. Those are the physical side-effects of pregnancy but there are plenty of mental and emotional ones as well.
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Further, during pregnancy it is inevitable that women will gain weight. They must decide whether they are willing to give up their bodies for pregnancy and nursing. There is no guarantee that a women’s body will ever return to the way it was pre-pregnancy. The woman also has no idea whether her husband or partner, if they are in the picture, will love their new body. This may not seem like a big deal, but it is important to women in relationships.
Another factor for women to consider, is that the man can either not be in the picture or walk away at any point. If a couple is dating and they break-up during the pregnancy, the woman is still carrying the child. So then, the woman will likely go on and give birth. In most situations like these, the woman will then become a single mother. While the mother can go to court for child support from the father, this can a time-consuming and expensive process. Therefore, a lot of women in this situation spend that time working to financially support the child and take care of the child.
Those are three different factors that women, for the most part, must consider before they even decide to have children. There are some women who know that they want to have children and do not care about any of these things, but most are at least affected by these things.
After one decides to have children and gives birth, they deal with the aftereffect. Most women with white-collar jobs will get sixty days of maternity leave so they have time off and a guarantee to get their job back. On the other hand, most women working blue-collar jobs will not get maternity leave so if they have a child they may not have their job. A child is a huge financial responsibility so not having a job would be detrimental.
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Then there is societal perception. Women are more subject to these societal views than men. When women begin to get into their late 20’s and early 30’s, they are constantly asked when they are having children. It is expected that all women should have and want to have children at some point in their lives. So, when women are passing through the prime child bearing period and are not pregnant or have children society thinks that something is wrong with them.
On the other hand, men are applauded for being bachelors into their 50’s and do not feel any pressure to have children. Since men are not the ones carrying the baby, they are able to have children at much later ages. Society does not judge unhealthy men, nearly as harshly, for being unhealthy and having children in comparison to how they judge women.
Further, women are often seen as selfish for not wanting to have children. Society judges women who do not want to be bound by the responsibility of a child. Yet, there is nothing wrong with that. If women want to grow within their careers or personally by travelling instead of having children, they should be able to do that without the influence of society.
Obviously, having children is a very personal decision. However, these decisions are different based along the lines of gender. I would like to think that some of these difficulties women face will be alleviated by the time I am ready to have children. However, realistically I do not think this will happen because our society discriminates on biological differences and this is the greatest example of a biological difference.