Sexuality
Curated by: Melissa Ann Kyc, Megan Werner, Kelcey Paige Sokol, and Karen Friel
The transition from child to teen to young adult is a period of a lot of change and growth. That growth happens physically, emotionally, and psychologically. Being in a transformative phase, adolescents begin to explore who they are as a person, which includes their sexuality. The journey toward understanding and expressing one’s sexuality is complex and heavily influenced by cultural and social factors. How students explore sexuality and how they portray their sexuality is a controversial and complex topic.
As you read consider the following:
- Does media and marketing sexualize our youth?
- What is lacking or needed in the teaching of childhood sexuality?
- What do you think can still be done to better support transgender youth and their families?
- How can we better support children and youth in navigating mass media?
“Too Much, Too Soon? Marketing, Media, and the Sexualization of Girls” Chapter 7 – The Material Child: Growing Up in Consumer Culture
Buckingham poses the ultimate question; “what actually is the distinction between sexual and sexualized?”
It is clear that the availability of sexual imagery has become more widely accessible within our culture, but it isn’t clear how exactly children perceive this content. It is noted that there has been a growing trend of advertising items such as push-up bras, thongs, make-up, and false nails. But are children interpreting these items in a sexual manner or a way for them to express themselves and their individuality? Or are they following a trend and aiming to be cool and fashionable?
Are adults perceiving things (items and content) as sexual while children are not? Buckingham highlights that some children may not understand, ignore, or even misinterpret sexual references and ‘innuendoes’. More largely is there enough research to draw a direct connection between media, sexual content, and the mental/physical impacts on children? One of the most prominent issues surrounding young girls is that of body image. Young girls are being pressured to have slender ‘sexy’ bodies which has led to eating disorders, suicide, and depression.
Despite content being more widely available, it isn’t a new phenomenon. Buckingham dives into the notion that the sexualization of children and advertisements isn’t new and can be traced back many centuries.
“Eroticized images of children in Romantic Painting, book illustrations of the Victorian era, art photograph and early advertising, as well as more contemporary material, while Kincaid (1998) traces a similar history in literature and film, from Huckleberry Finn and Lewis Carroll, through Heidi and Shirley Temple films.”
“The commercial marketing of a particular version of assertive, apparently ‘sexualized’ femininity popularized in the late 1900s by the Spice Girls.”
Despite this not being a new trend, Dan Cook and Susan Kaiser suggest that the confusion stems as a response to “the creation of new age-defined categories such as the ‘teenager’ and the ‘subteen’ in the post-war clothing market” (Buckingham, 126). The new categories led marketers to become confused as how and who to target their products to. It is thought that the market for ‘tweens’ can be sexualized as they are beginning to cross the line from children to teenagers. Marketers began to play off of the interests of tweens in looking and feeling attractive, but it often crosses the line with portraying them as sexy.
Calvin Klein Risqué Teen Ad Controversy (1995)
Where is the line between modeling attractively and modeling sexy?
Calvin Klein unleashed a controversial conversation about what is appropriate for advertisements, especially those targeted and viewed by our youth.
Maury highlights this by saying, “These sexy ads have everyone wondering just how provocative advertising should be. There was so much outrage about these commercials. Young teens nervously posing in front of the camera in front of the camera to an older seductive voice” (0.22).
In an interview with 15-year-old Delancy Berzon, Maury asks about his opinion on this controversy. He states that he didn’t believe there was an issue with the photoshoot and never thought it would blow up into something so big. Berzon states, “What you interpreted was a lot more than what was going on. It was just a simple, you know, producer trying to get people cast and you guys are making it out to be this big pornographic thing.”
Delancy’s Father: “My son was underage. Yeah, he was 14 when this was done. He turned 15 shortly thereafter, but there was absolutely nothing wrong with the way that it was shown.”
Audience Member’s Response: “If Calvin Klein was trying to sell clothes, then your son should have had on clothes.”
The Cosmetic Kids Market
“Teenagers have apparently become a lucrative market for the ‘beauty industry’, with growing amounts being spent on cosmetics, slimming products, and plastic surgery” (Buckingham 124).
Statistics to reference while reading this section:
- Instagram is still the most valuable social app for beauty brands with 90% of all beauty-related posts in 2020 published on the platform. Forbes
- As confirmed in a recent study, 42% of 18- to 24- year-olds are inspired by social media when it comes to makeup. Imagine what this statistic potentially is for pre-teens. Forbes
- Investment company Piper Sandler shows teens spent 23% more on cosmetics, skincare, and fragrance in 2023 than they did in 2022. Teens Spending Big Money on Beauty Products
- “According to 2023 data by Greenlight, children and teens are spending around $14.7 million at Sephora, a dollar amount that has more than doubled in the last two years. The data also shows that same group of consumers is spending $8 million at Ulta Beauty.” ‘Sephora kids and the concerning influence of social media on tween girls’
Teenagers and Cosmetic Spending
Has social media affected young children’s desire to wear makeup? Is it to feel and look older? Based on what children see through the media, it is apparent that the exposure of more ‘mature’ material and content is changing the ways that children experience childhood.
Teens Spending Big Money on Beauty Products
“This is the first generation that has really grown up in this digital age where TikTok and Youtube replaced linear TVs” says Dr. Marnie Nussbaum. She mentions that marketing strategies are targeting young ones. Investment company Piper Sandler shows teens spent 23% more on cosmetics, skincare, and fragrance in 2023 than they did in 2022.
‘Sephora kids and the concerning influence of social media on tween girls’
“According to 2023 data by Greenlight, a company that works to provide resources and debit cards for raising financially-smart kids, children and teens are spending around $14.7 million at Sephora, a dollar amount that has more than doubled in the last two years. The data also shows that same group of consumers is spending $8 million at Ulta Beauty.”
‘Sephora kids’ and the booming business of beauty products for children
“Yes, tweens are not only flooding Sephora stores, but they’re also making a lot of purchases of these products online,” says Denish Shah, an associate professor of marketing at Georgia State University’s Robinson College of Business. “This category, in general, is seeing a huge increase in sales.”
Mia Taylor of BBC points out the rapid growth of targeting kids as consumers of the beauty industry. US industries like CVS and Walgreens have decided to put beauty products marketed to kids in their stores. Since kids tend to shop here with their parents first before heading to Sephora and Ulta, these brands to kids at a younger age. Social media has progressed the kids’ beauty industry in the growing number of tweens being skinfluencers, which involves them showing other teens how to use the beauty products and advertising them with their following.
“DeFino names several cosmetics and skincare brands that have launched in recent years specifically to serve not only tweens but also younger demographics. Parents of toddlers may have heard of Yawn, a company that launched to offer make-up and skincare for customers who are aged 3+. Bubble, which bills itself as “new school skincare” offers acne and skin-texture products launched in 2020, and is now sold at Ulta as well as drug stores; Gryt, which launched in 2023, says its products are for tweens and teens but can be used by those as young as eight years old” (Taylor).
Teenagers and Cosmetic Surgery
In 2003, over 223,000 cosmetic procedures were performed on individuals 18 and younger. Almost 39,000 of those individuals had procedures like nose reshaping, breast lifts, augmentation, liposuction, and tummy tucks (Zuckerman).
One big concern surrounding cosmetic surgery in adolescents is that their bodies are not fully developed and are still maturing. With their bodies changing a lot after the age of 21, they might not have “needed” surgery for their desired look. For example, some teens getting breast augmentation surgery may end up gaining weight and growing in their breast size naturally. In 2004, the American Society of Plastic Surgeons officially stated their position against breast augmentation for patients under 18. It is suggested that adolescents undergo a psychological screening for maturity before signing up for these elective procedures, especially since dissatisfaction with one’s appearance improves with age and maturity. Cosmetic surgery also comes with risks including but not limited to infection, organ damage, blood clots, fluid loss, and the need for repeated surgeries and long-term commitment.
Childhood Sexuality after Freud: The Problem of Sex in Early Childhood Education
Keep these questions in mind as you read through the following overview of the Tobin reading. What has changed in reference to childhood sexuality in early childhood education? What was and is considered best practice in this area? Do you feel things have changed for the better? What, if anything, do you think is lacking or needed in the teaching of childhood sexuality?
In his essay Tobin discuss three interrelated phenomena that have past through American early childhood education: “(1) a “moral panic” about sexual abuse in preschools; (2) the prohibition of physical contact, both among children, and between children and their adult caretakers; and (3) the disappearance of psychoanalysis as a source of knowledge and a guide to good practice.” (p. 179)
Study One: The Disappearance of Psychoanalysis from Textbooks
Tobin analyzed the contents of 55 early childhood educational textbooks ranging a span of 72 years, from 1927 through 1999. Tobin explains that textbooks from phase one (roughly from 1927 through 1940) would explicitly cite psychoanalytic perspectives and Freud’s new ideas were cited as a scientific source of knowledge.
“Early childhood educators of this era tended to recommend a matter-of-fact approach to childhood masturbation and sexual curiosity, as we can see in excerpts from Josephine Foster and Marion Mattson’s 1939 Nursery School Education:
Let us answer the child’s questions of sex so simply that he understands what we say, so truthfully that he will not have later to unlearn what we are telling him today, and so unemotionally that he will not put undue importance upon the information, and above all so that he will not fail to ask for further information when he needs it [1939, pp. 74– 75].” (p. 181)
In the next phase, of the 1950s and early 1960s, early childhood educational textbooks begin to shift the emphasis of discussions from childhood sexuality to the topic of gender formation. “As we can see in an excerpt from Katherine Read’s The Nursery School: A Human Relationships Laboratory (1950):
A girl may not notice sex differences the first time that she uses a toilet beside a boy; but when she does notice a difference, she will usually want to watch boys frequently as they urinate. . . She may comment and ask questions. If she does, she will be helped by the teacher’s casual acceptance of her comments. It may help her to have the teacher verbalize in some way as, “Bill has a penis. He stands up at the toilet. Boys stand up and girls sit down there.” Psychiatrists tell us that an important factor in later sex adjustment is the acceptance of one’s sex. In this situation it is usually easier for the boys to feel acceptance because they possess a penis. Many times a girl will try to imitate the boy by attempting to stand— with not very satisfactory results! . . . Some girls may need help in feeling that being a girl is desirable. The teacher may remark, “Mothers sit down, too” [p. 101].” (p. 183)
Early childhood educational textbooks of the 1970s and early 1980s returned to the topic of psychoanalysis, although this time it was Erik Erikson rather than Freud who was most widely cited. Another new direction in textbooks of this era was the addition of a feminist-informed discussion of the issues of gender formation and gender equity. By the mid 1980s, conversations of sex had all but disappeared from early childhood education textbooks. The topic returned in the late 1980s, however this time with the new distinction of sexual abuse.
“From the 1920s through the 1950s, early childhood education textbooks warned of the mental health risks of repressing children’s sexuality; in the 1990s the risk teachers are urged to keep in the forefront of their minds is children’s sexual vulnerability. For example, in the 1987 edition of their book Who Am I in the Lives of Children, Feeney, Christenson, and Moravcik give this somber advice:
It is part of your professional responsibility to learn to identify and report child abuse and neglect. . . While sexual abuse most often occurs in the context of the family, it is by no means unheard of for a child to be sexually abused by others with whom they have contact such as neighbors, friends, and– in some of the most tragic and publicized cases– their school staff members. Children and families can be given information that will help children to protect themselves from molestation. Schools can take steps to ensure security by having stringent staff screening policies. . . Perhaps most important is that families and teachers learn to take seriously children’s reports of abuse and that children learn how to report incidents to caring adults without fear of repercussions [p. 374].” (p. 186)
Study Two: Preschool Teachers’ Talk about Sexuality
In 1994 Tobin launched a study of preschool teachers’ attitudes toward sexuality. He assembled focus groups of preschool teachers, presented stories of various elements of sexuality, then analyzed their discussions.
“The Girls Who Knew Too Much
Story 3: The other day, two girls and a boy where playing “doctor.” Actually, they were playing “delivery room.” One girl, who was being the patient, lay on her back and said, “It’s time for the baby.” Then the other girl, who was the nurse, and the boy, who was the doctor, got ready to “deliver” the baby. I was watching from across the room. At first I was thinking this was cute, but then the nurse told the doctor, “Pull down her underpants so we can get the baby out,” and that’s just what they did. When they pulled her underpants down I could see that she had put a little baby-doll in her underpants and was now holding it between her legs. At that point I came over. The “nurse” told me, “Get away, we’re birthing a baby,” but I told the “patient” she had to put her underpants back on immediately.” (p. 191)
Tobin determined that the teacher’s core concern here was that excessive sexual knowledge suggests a lack of innocence and is considered dangerous.
Tobin’s essay reports on the declining influence of psychoanalytic, especially of Freudian theory, in American early childhood education and provides evidence of the rising sexual panic that has been sweeping through American preschools.
Ma Vie En Rose : My Life In Pink
Please keep the below questions in mind as you read the synopsis of the film:
- How has our society changed / transformed in regards to transgender youth?
- What do you think can still be done to better support transgender youth and their families?
- Are transgender youth more accepted across the world as a whole or are there still countries with bans and discrimination?
- Should girls playing with boys toys and boys playing with girls toys be normalized?
- Why is it that society attempts to isolate these children and their families?
Ludovic, born as a male, is truly a girl at heart. His family just moved to a brand new neighborhood that is portrayed as very rigid and uniform. In the opening scene, Ludovic puts on a dress, makeup and jewelry to join their house warming party. It is in this scene that we are given a glance into the rules of the society; girls are girls and boys are boys. It is further exemplified as his mother assists him in removing his makeup and stating that seven year olds don’t dress up.
As the film progresses, we see Ludovic make several attempts to let his true colors shine to the world. He dresses up, brings dolls for show-n-tell, pretends to marry a boy, and by not allowing his long hair to be cut. In response to these attempts, the community begins to slowly isolate the family leading his parents to force Ludovic to be a boy. His parents make him see a psychologist, play on an all boys sports team, and force him to get a ‘boy’ haircut. Ludovic tries to suppress his desires to be a girl and be a boy / son his parents want him to be but ultimately he ends up reverting back to his desires to be a girl.
In the end, the community shuts out Ludovic and his family which forces them to move for a new job. In the new town Ludovic meets Christine. It is alluded to by dress and appearance that Christine is a girl wanting to be a boy. It is here, in the new town, that his family sees acceptance and begins to allow Ludovic to be who he is on the inside.
Transgender Children
This NBC news clip shows a families emotional decision to allow their young daughter to transition into boyhood.
As you watch, consider what is the right time for a parent to support their child with a transgender choice.
Angela Kade Goepferd: The revolutionary truth about kids and gender identity | TED Talk
“From the age of about two, kids can understand gender differences.”
Angela Cade Geopferd discusses that children can comprehend gender identity at an early age. “They sort and put people into categories: girls and boys, mommy and daddy. Kids at two are very good at putting things into categories” claims Geopferd. Not only do they become aware of these categories that surround them, but they also begin to discover where they fit within these norms. Children “turn the lens inward” and they are not shy about sharing their discoveries and their thought process. Some kids notice the characteristics of a girl and put themselves in that category. Some kids notice the characteristics of a boy and put themselves in that category. Then some children see the categories that they physically align with, but they don’t always feel that they belong there.
Concluding Thoughts
After diving into the topic of sexuality in reference to our youth, hopefully you feel that there is a lot to discover and understand. With social media being prevalent in our adolescents’ lives, there is a visible shift in what is beautiful and what is attractive. With our youth increasing consumption of beauty products, there is a heavy emphasis on worrying about one’s appearance from an early stage. Marketers have also jumped on board with progressing this notion to look attractive from an early stage in life. This brings up the question, how is media and marketing sexualizing our youth?
We have also explored the important conversation of children exploring their own sexuality. When do we address this with them? How do we address this with them? What are we currently lacking in the teaching of childhood sexuality? As our youth begins to notice the differences in genders, they begin to notice their own body. Stereotypes of what is appropriate for a boy and what is appropriate for a girl sometimes fits the mold, but other times it does not. For some children, they don’t fit the gender role and mold that they notice around them and they struggle with where they fit in. How do we support those children? When is the right time and age to have a conversation about their gender?
References:
Buckingham, D. (2011). The material child: Growing up in Consumer Culture. Malden, MA: Polity. ISBN 9780745647708
Frost, A., & Frost, A. (2024a, January 29). “Sephora Kids” and the concerning influence of social media on tween girls. Motherly. https://www.mother.ly/news/the-rise-of-sephora-kids/
Goepferd, A. K. (2020, March). The revolutionary truth about kids and gender identity: The revolutionary truth about kids and gender identity. TED Talk. https://www.ted.com/talks/angela_kade_goepferd_the_revolutionary_truth_about_kids_and_gender_identity.
Scotta C. (Producer), & Berliner, A. (Director). (1997). Ma vie en rose [Motion picture]. France. Distributed by Sony Pictures.
Taylor, Mia. (22 January 2024). BBC Worklife: Sepora, Kids, and The Booming Business of Beauty Products for Children. Available at https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20240119-sephora-kids-and-the-booming-business-of-beauty-products-for-children
Tobin, J. (2001). Childhood Sexuality after Freud: The Problem of Sex in Early Childhood Education, in Winer, J. A. & Anderson, J. W. (Eds.), The Annual of Psychoanalysis, 29, 179-98. Hillsdale, NJ: Analytic Press.
Virtual Mentor. 2005;7(3):253-256. doi: 10.1001/virtualmentor.2005.7.3.oped1-0503.
YouTube. (22 April 2015). NBC: Nightly News: Life As A 5-Year-Old Transgender Child. Available at https://youtu.be/kVmau1cM5TU?si=A17NwUbTi14eUR-9
YouTube. (7 Feb. 2024) WCNC: Teens Spending Big Bucks in Beauty Products. Available at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SjEFLUQYGno
This is a very important exhibit about the challenges and struggles concerning sexuality. Sexuality has completely changed over time. Nowadays, children are trying so hard to be recognized especially on social media. It is natural for children to be curious about their bodies and gender. Nevertheless, some sexual behavior might be inappropriate and dangerous. Moreover, parents have different culture, beliefs, and expectations concerning their children. All we can do is to remain positive, respectful, and supportive as we assist our children go through the stages of life.
What are ways in which we can protect our children from sexual exploitation?
Great Exhibit!!
Hey there Yassah! I agree with the point you made about current trends in childhood today to be surprising. My sister is a general manager at Ulta Beauty and I remember during the Christmas months how she spoke of parents coming in to purchase makeup for their children. I remember my sister’s amazement as parents would reference Tik Tok videos and speak about purchasing what their nine-year-old saw in a video. Parents would come in with an exact list of what their children wanted. Social media has its advantages, but I also wonder how this is impacting the later development of children and their views on themselves in correlation to the world and social media.
Yassah, I love that you mention the differences in beliefs surrounding sexuality based on culture and expectations of that child. I’m a curator for this exhibit and as I was looking into this topic it made me think of the different cultures and different generation of students that are in the classroom. As style changes, the students get so excited to wear something trendy, which is cute to see how excited they are about their clothes, but sometimes it is not school-appropriate. Deeming what is school-appropriate is another can of worms to open, but it is really interesting how many of the kids point out the inappropriate clothes of others and some students take this offensively because they feel like their style is being judged. I’ve had to have conversations about clothes not being school-appropriate, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t trendy clothes. This is very confusing for a tween. Some of my kids have voiced feeling like they lose their culture by not using their first language enough at home, so perhaps they don’t like being told to also change their style. As it is touched on in “The Material Child,” this change in what is trendy has a lot to do with what is advertised and marketed to our youth. Should we limit this exposure? Are children or tweens more vulnerable than adults when it comes to consumerism? Perhaps they need the exposure, but they also need to be taught how to absorb the media world in a healthy way.
I love that you bring up so much food for thought! Thank you!
Yassah, I think you bring up some great points! I agree that we need to remain supporting, positive, and respectful. This made me think of some of the views my students share privately in the classroom. Many of them have been a member of sexual abuse, so it has been interesting trying to navigate how to best support them where they feel safe and take ownership over their own beings again. These situations came to mind when you posed your question of how we can protect children. I do think the answer is somewhere along the lines of educating the children to understand how to keep themselves safe as well. Thank you!
Hi Antonina,
You are absolutely right! Sometimes children tend to hide abusive experiences from their parents and guardians. By educating them on the different stages of sexuality, it will develop their minds and prepare them for any eventuality. Sexuality is a very touchy topic especially when communicated to children. No matter how hard it is to discuss sexuality with your children, remember, sexuality conversations will help children make safer choices during their different stages of life.
There is a wide range of opinions when it comes to child sexuality. I found myself weighing the different ideas. One quote from this exhibit caught my attention. “Based on what children see through the media, it is apparent that the exposure of more ‘mature’ material and content is changing the ways that children experience childhood.” I disagree with the prevalent view that children should have free access to the internet and social media. It is still a parent’s responsibility to understand and monitor the types of things a child is consuming, viewing, and participating in. This changes as a child grows, matures, and learns to evaluate the world around them.
Watching My Life in Pink left me with more concerns and questions. Which consequences for the child are worse—allowing a child to change gender when they do not understand the ramifications and consequences OR encouraging a child to be the sex of their body until they do understand all of the consequences of their choice? Are there psychological consequences for a young boy (like this boy in the movie) to live like a girl before he even understands that his body will never have a period? This movie highlights the child’s lack of understanding of the consequences to the point that he climbs into a freezer. He doesn’t understand the reality of his own body—he thinks he will have a period just because he feels he is a girl. I think it is easy to say that it is the fault of those who don’t accept his choice (the neighbors). Reality is that complete acceptance by everyone of a child changing genders is unlikely. It is a moral stance for many. This was highlighted in the movie when the other boy sadly talked about “going to hell” and changed seats away from him. And people who try to shame others into changing only create more division. The hope is that we can all treat everyone with love and respect, even if you don’t like their choices. This didn’t happen for the boy in the movie. Any child who makes these types of gender choices is likely to run into this kind of resistance at some point. And so I go back to my questions above…what is really best for the child?
This lesson presented two “experts” saying that children will suffer damage if they aren’t allowed to be what they want to be. I have also heard other “experts” say the complete opposite. People tend to go with the “expert” that supports their perspective. Statistics were given about high suicide rates, but I have also heard equally compelling statistics of high suicide rates of people who have changed genders. Looking beyond the present cultural movement encouraging a variety of genders, I don’t know whose “science” is real. And perhaps we won’t know until we get down the road a ways. In the end, I don’t agree with the theory that we should let children be or do whatever they want, especially when they don’t have enough knowledge to weigh their choices. I am going with my gut feeling that children need knowledge for some choices. Just because a young adolescent has the ability to get pregnant doesn’t mean they have the knowledge or ability to raise a child. Our society tries to protect children from the consequences of pregnancy. I look at changing a gender in the same way. A girl can like all things boys or a boy can like all things girls. But changing genders has significant consequences for the individual, for their emotional and mental wellbeing, for their relationships including future romantic relationships, for their social relationships, and more. Children need to gain knowledge to have the ability to weigh their choices. What adults choose is completely different from what children are able to choose.
Hey there Marylynee! I agree that there should be certain limitations in social media use and children. What concerns me about a topic like this, is that some parents go to extremes to keep their children away from improper exposure to certain societal happenings. While others are too relaxed in a sense. I think that there needs to be a balance in children experiencing the world but also not being sheltered. I am fearful that too much freedom will encourage children to participate early in indecent experiences whereas I also worry that sheltered children will too, face their fair share of hardships from not knowing.
Social media is such a beast to tackle- since it’s relatively new, and it’s only becoming more and more relevant to future generations. I’m an interesting age where social media didn’t really exist until I was in high school. I got a facebook in 8th grade, I got an instagram in about 10th grade. I got a snapchat after that- although I no longer have an account at snapchat. Generations before me had even less of an impact from socia media on their childhood, and generations after me have such a more significant impact. I do really agree with Julia. I think preventing kids from having any exposure is not only not realistic, but it’s also just too limiting- and being overly sheltered will also not serve them. But I think parameters like time limits (the apps lock after a certain amount of time) or parental supervision on apps/sites can help find that balance.
Hi Marylynne,
I am one of the curators for this exhibition. Thank you for your thoughtful response! When we gathered information to present, it was more to get stories,topics and ideas that would be good conversation starters… not necessarily that we agree with all the information. I personally agree with your statement “A girl can like all things boys or a boy can like all things girls. But changing genders has significant consequences for the individual, for their emotional and mental wellbeing, for their relationships including future romantic relationships, for their social relationships, and more.” Growing up I knew plenty of girls that were, what we called, “tomboys.” They were girls who loved all boy things, dressed like boys, played with boys, and rejected all the frilly “girly” things. However, as they got older, many of them shifted their interests and behaviors to become more feminine. I believe that children should have the freedom to explore their interests and discover who they really are. However, I don’t think a decisions about changing gender should be made, by parents or child, during the childhood years.
I appreciate your perspective. Thank you for sharing.
Karen
Hi Karen. Thank you for your response. You point out that many children “as they got older…shifted their interests and behaviors”. I think the mother in the NBC news report above was doing what she thought was best. However, I disagree with the “markers” she identifies… persistent, consistent, and insistent. I raised a child who exhibited these three markers in his intense hyperfocus on what was important to him. I remember being shocked when, as he got older, his focus changed. This intense hyperfocus is still a part of his approach to life today as an adult. I agree that children can shift focus, even if their consistent persistent, and insistent focus doesn’t seem like it will ever change.
Marylynne, thanks for inspiring such a thought-provoking discussion! In doing some browsing online, I thought it was interesting to discover quite a few results about the “markers” (persistent, consistent, insistent), so Jacob’s mom is connecting with language she has heard/read.
Marylynne, I enjoyed reading your reflection and comparison of the possibility of changing genders to teenage pregnancy. I think this is a great perspective you shared. Regardless if an individual thinks kids should or should not be able to change genders, I liked that you mentioned there should be hesitation. I agree this has nothing to do with them changing, but more that they may not have all the information, or life experience even, to logically make a drastic switch. The world seems to be split on many of these topics, so sometimes finding where to stand and the evidence for why is tricky. I think this leads to your point that you can find an expert of statics for both sides of the argument. At the end of the day, I do think parents need to talk with their children. I think parents need to emotionally check in with how they are feeling and what they are thinking. I think with this topic, like many other childhood topics, the parents need to be present and help guide the child to eventually make bigger decisions. Thanks!
Marylynne, I agree with you that it is a parents’ job to monitor what their child sees/hears/does. Every child is unique and processes experiences and information differently. I also agree with you that people can always find information that supports their own viewpoints (what you referred to as “experts” or “statistics”). Nobody can see into the future and know with 100% certainty what the consequences will be for actions taken today. Sometimes you just have to live by that gut feeling you mention.
Hi Marylynne,
I appreciate your thoughtful and honest response to this exhibit. You raise a lot of good points.
First, the easy topic: I agree with you about social media and internet use. This is something parents need to monitor and adjust as children grow. They shouldn’t have free reign because their brains aren’t developed enough to be able to make the best choices there. And they lack the life experience to make the right choices as well.
For the gender discussion: I like the way that you said, “A girl can like all things boys or a boy can like all things girls.” This has long been my own thought. I think that all the decisions our children make for themselves, no matter what it is, needs careful guidance and counsel from an understanding parent. This topic is one that has come into discussion in my own family in the last few years and my approach has always been to walk alongside my child and support them in the ways they actually need. I speak honestly with them and listen openly to their own thoughts, beliefs, and ideas. I had to ask myself what my ultimate goal was here and how much control I really had. What I decided was that I wanted a relationship with my child, and I wanted them to survive their teenaged years. I also know I have zero control over what they believe about themselves. I can tell them all I want to, but they have to decide if what I say is true or not. That’s not to say truth is necessarily relative (that’s a different discussion), but I do mean that we all digest information given to us in different ways. I am a Christian and believe that God has the ultimate control in my child’s life. My child, too, is a Christian. And I want them to feel comfortable staying that way. So, I encourage reading the Bible and asking the hard questions. I pray for them. I try to do for them what others have done for me in my past (with different topics). Am I handling it right? Hopefully. Am I causing harm? I certainly hope not. But I am doing my best with the information I have, and it’s all I can really do. I am not inside my child’s head. I cannot know for sure how they feel. So, I listen and do my best. I pray that’s enough. (And hopefully I don’t regret sharing this with all of you who read this post! And for the record, my child has often told me they appreciate my approach, so that’s something.)
Your take on Ma Vie en Rose prompts some questions for me:
1. Are sex organs and biological reproductive functions necessary for being a male or a female?
At first glance, sure. Reproductive organs are a primary feature of biological sex. But, can someone be a girl or woman if she will never have a period (as you mention)? If not, what are the implications of this? Is a person no longer a woman if she no longer has a period or no longer has a uterus? What about people who are born with two X chromosomes but without a uterus? Are they real girls? It happens in as many as 1 in every 5,000 births! https://www.imperial.nhs.uk/about-us/blog/what-is-mayer-rokitansky-kuster-hauser-syndrome#:~:text=Maya%3A%20MRKH%20affects%20one%20in,with%20the%20absence%20of%20periods.
2. Is gender something that can be changed or is it part of the physical body?
Since gender is an entirely cultural concept, an unnatural social construction, it is always something that it being made up.
When people act out gender roles, they are electing to engage in social interactions in particular ways.
It’s a misnomer to say that gender is being changed because it was not a set condition in the first place.
Biological sex refers to the physical materials. Gender refers to the social functions. There are good definitions of the two terms here: https://cihr-irsc.gc.ca/e/48642.html
3. You mention “experts” and “science”. Does you use of inverted quotation marks indicate a skepticism for these practitioners and their fields of medicine?
4. Is knowledge of the self dependent upon years of life experience?
This one really interests me. I know some small children who are happy little space cadets and others who are deeply wise. What is it that makes us so certain that very young people do not know who they are or what they value, especially those who already demonstrate a compelling sense of self?
5. How are our ideas about childhood bodily autonomy influenced by our cultural biases?
Why do we feel that there is a particular time point at which children are allowed to own their gender presentation and sexual identity?
And, most critically, why do we not impose those limitations on heteronormative presentations? Early childhood culture is brimming with images, songs, and toys that not only permit but promote heteronormative behavior. But… we’re not saying that we should hit the brakes and not let children decide about being straight or gender confirming until their older. Rather, performative gender and sexual identity are widely celebrated for children who are straight and gender conforming. What does that let us know about our values, culturally?
Hi Marylynne,
Thank you for your thoughtful response. I also had a lot of questions and concerns when watching the video about changing genders. I’ve often thought about children who are allowed to change their genders. Is it really what is best for them? Should they be forced to wait until they have matured enough to make those types of decisions? I don’t think that children can make that kind of life-changing decision about their lives at such a young age. I think about how many teens can’t make healthy decisions about many different things, and yet, parents and doctors are allowing children to make gender transition decisions. So, I agree with your final statement that “children need to gain knowledge to have the ability to weigh their choices.”
Great exhibit! One question posed that stood out to me was how to best address children exploring their own sexuality. Some ideas that came to mind is the incorporation of literature and professional advice. There is a vast array of literature pertaining to childhood growth, development, and sexuality. I think that educating oneself (caretaker, etc.) and seeking professionals in the field (child psychologists/psychiatrists) may give guardians the information they need and children the answers and stability they crave.
I agree! I’ve been thinking about children’s books a lot throughout this course, at various lessons. I think children’s books, chapter books, and even more adult-level educational books are a great resource here. I remember when I was in upper elementary or maybe middle school reading that American Girl Doll book- The Care and Keeping of You. The book was written for girls to learn about changing bodies. My sisters and friends were also reading it at the time- must have been a popular choice!
This is a great point, and I also was given the American Girl Doll book! To think this one book has been in so many homes to teach young girls about the basics speaks for itself! I wonder if there have been any more books that are common purchases for the newer age-ranges of the changing bodies. I also started thinking about when students began to be in fifth grade (I believe) we would split into two rooms and have a “talk” about puberty. I wonder if this happens in upper elementary today with all of the opposing views of sexuality and how parents differ from raising their children.
Hi Julia!
I am one of the curators for this exhibition. While reading your response, you posed an interesting connection for me. In college we discussed books bans when they were at an all time high. The question I asked myself and still ask myself now as an educator is “could a potential book ban on specific topics (gender, race, sexuality, etc.) cause children to be hateful towards one another rather than accepting?” In society we want everyone to be who they feel they are and express themselves in their own way. But how can we do that when our younger generations are not exposed/educated on these more sensitive topics? Thank you for sharing your thoughts!!
As I read this week’s work, I was most struck by the question of what is lacking or needed in the teaching of childhood sexuality? I was thinking about what schools owe to children and adolescents. I do personally believe that schools can responsibly educate students on changing bodies, sexual health, etc. But according to the Sexuality and Information Council of the United States “only 38 percent of high schools and 14 percent of middle schools across the country teach all 19 topics identified as critical for sex education by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.”
This week’s readings/film confirmed that kids and adolescents are going to learn about or observe sex, gender, sexuality, etc- so they should be given true, accurate, reliable, educational information. I was thinking about this, too, because for my side exhibit I talked about a pioneering program in Chicago in 1913 – sexual hygiene in Chicago Public Schools.
Reference in this post:
https://harvardpolitics.com/american-sex-education/#:~:text=According%20to%20the%20Sexuality%20and,for%20Disease%20Control%20and%20Prevention.
Hi Lizzie, I am one of the curators for this weeks exhibition so thank you for your thoughtful response! You bring up an extremely important point that I hadn’t truly considered as I engaged with the material for this weeks exhibit. I vividly remember in middle school (eighth grade to be exact) having ONE course on health related topics. It only spanned one out of the three quarters and was once a week. It seemed as though they were trying to begin to make us aware of certain topics but also didn’t really know how to do so in the correct manner. After that one middle school course, I had one my freshmen year of high school. It was very similar that it was mandatory, once a week, and didn’t last more than a quarter. I feel as though my peers and I were done a disservice by not being given an adequate course on all things health related. I was fortunate to have parents who educated me on several topics pertaining to sexual health, but not everyone is given that opportunity so they are forced to learn about it themselves which can led to unsafe scenarios. I would be curious to go back and see how my high school has altered (or maybe not have) the health program to benefit the students further. I really appreciated the article you attached. It brings up many valid points / arguments but ultimately goes to show how far we have to go in terms of sex ed to ‘please’ and ‘not offend’ everyone.
I was shocked by your statistic that “only 38% of high schools and 14% of middle schools across the country teach all 19 topics identified as critical for sex education by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention”. I can recall when I was in middle school not learn anything about sex education. When I went into 5th grade they handed all the girls a “goody bag” on the first day of school. The bag consisted of a couple of pads, tampons, deodorant, and face wash. There was no conversation or talk about what the material was so I simply threw it away when I went home and didn’t give it another thought. It wasn’t until I needed to start using feminine products that I understood what they were for and how to properly apply them to myself. When I got into high school again there was no conversation about intercourse and relationships besides what I learned from my more experienced friends. I learned everything from my classmates. I did take a health class but it wasn’t until I was a junior and by that time more kids were already experiencing physical contact with one another. I think we as a society need to have those hard conversations with young people because they will go into life confused and are more likely to make poor decisions in relation to their bodies. Those poor choices can affect their lives forever.
Hi Lizzie,
I am surprised too that sexual education is not widely spread out in learning institutions. I believe that it is necessary to include sexual education in the curriculum as a mandatory course throughout schools starting from elementary level (appropriate age group) up to high school. Children should be expected to attend the class and receive a passing grade. This process will help to eliminate confusion about sexuality and prepare children for the world.
Lizzie, thanks for this resource from the Harvard Political Review. On the topic of third-party organizations, I wasn’t already familiar with the Unitarian Church’s “Our Whole Lives” comprehensive sex-ed curriculum, which this article describes as being “one of the most well-regarded in the country.” I look forward to visiting your group’s side exhibit soon!
This lesson’s reading, viewing, and exhibit allowed me to switch between different sub-topics of child sexuality. I sat with myself to really reflect on what I have deemed “appropriate” and what I find that children are just “too young” for. This was an interesting thought process that brought me to some new or stronger views. One of the elements I thought of was the idea that sexuality may be introduced too young in some aspects. While I think parents/guardians have control over what they explain to their children in the privacy of their home, the media and how toys are advertised plays a role in the views for the child. For example, certain toys are directed more towards the female or male. I do not think this is inherently “bad”, but I do think there is evidence to support this happens in our world. I also was forced to look at how young some of these toys, conversations, and activities may take place. This whole lesson I began focusing on the idea of trying to “speed up” the process of children growing up. All of a sudden, a four year old needs to play with makeup or drive a automated car, etc. I am not saying this means the toys are bad, because I do believe there is still an innocence that children can like these things because they see their own guardian engage in them. Depending on the age, I think it is mimicry. However, it is definitely present in our worlds at such a young age. The second bigger element I began to focus my attention on was the reflecting question posed in the beginning: What is lacking or needed in the teaching of childhood sexuality? I think about the way I was raised. The talk of sexuality was innocent, brief, and mainly related to anything personal that needed to be addressed for health and safety. This was also conversations with parents and/or doctors (rather than a topic outside of the home). While I want to say that sexuality at such a young age should not be a focus, the older I get the more I realize how it already is in children’s lives and somewhat needs to be addressed. I am unsure how or what is needed exactly. Although, I do think the topics of health, safety, and hygiene need to be regular conversations relating to sexuality in younger ages than I ever would have imagined. I enjoyed reading and engaging in this exhibit and the reflection this provoked!
Antonina,
When my son started asking questions about where babies come from and what was sex, I just answered truthfully. I also provided age appropriate books for him to look through to help him learn from something that wasn’t the internet. Giving him this information didn’t sexualize him–he just knew the answers and stopped asking the questions.
I can say my daughter loves makeup and girlie things (my style was dirt and sports as a kid, but I lived in a neighborhood with mostly boys). She loves to paint nails and put on make up, but it has nothing to do with feeling grown up. She just likes to feel glamorous. She once told me it was time to put on her “morning lipstick” when she was about 4 years old. It’s just what she enjoys, so why would I stop her? Most of the time she looks like a deranged clown, so I’m not sure that it sexualizes her in any way. I thought the commercialization of stuff for children was very interesting. I often wonder how much advertising affects children (even though my children didn’t grow up watching commercials, they still had preferences). Maybe it had to do with watching their dad and me.
Thank you for sharing!
Carrie
The second question you discussed in your post is an interesting one! I think there is so much lacking regarding healthy conversations about sexuality and healthy sex, too. I think Conservatives love to censor and pretend that these conversations aren’t necessary to have, which unfortunately has caused a massive rift in our society, with some children getting equitable access to these topics, and others, not. I think you make a really good point when you mention that whether adults try to facilitate these conversations or not, sexuality is already a topic in children’s lives, so my thought is to own that conversation early by modeling appropriate relationships and being mindful of the language our children hear. Most of education is not telling children pedantically “this is what boys/girls do” but in the subtext of what we say.
Antonina,
I agree that there needs to be some discussion about sex and sexuality with children. My mother never talked to me about the topic and I remember picking up a lot of information from my friends in high school and college. Probably not the best way to learn. So, when my husband and I had children, we were purposeful in having those conversations with our kids. We were open with them. My children are grown now, but I think today, more than ever with social media and advertisements, that parents need to be having those conversations with their children at even younger ages.
This week’s topics made me think about my experiences as a child & teenager in the 1970s-1980s compared to children today. As a child I played in my mother’s makeup for fun, but as a teenager I only wore my own for special occasions (holidays, prom, musical performances, etc.). My 14-year-old niece invests much more time and money (her mother’s money) on her hair and makeup and clothes. In my opinion, she’s growing up too fast – “she’s 14 going on 24.” One of my first-grade students wore a beautiful dress for picture day and called herself “sexy” as she twirled around. Did someone in her home say that to her? Did it mean the same thing to her at age 6 that it did to me as a teacher?
With regard to learning about topics of a sexual nature, I remember getting “the talk” in fifth grade. I learned more from my peers than my mother – that topic seemed taboo to her. As a sophomore in college I took a very popular elective class called “Human Sexuality,” but had to sign a form acknowledging that it included controversial topics and some very graphic information. I was exposed to some things that I had never even heard of – was I sheltered or was it just a different era?
As children, my older brother was more interested in playing board games, doing puzzles, baking with my mom, and doing art activities like painting clay models or creating dramatic play costumes. I was a tomboy – I rode dirt bikes and skateboards, climbed trees, helped my dad fix the car, went target shooting with my dad, and loved camping. Children can and should play with whatever toys they like and participate in whatever activities they like. The danger comes when adults insert their own perspectives and beliefs (and maybe even fears). In today’s society my brother and/or I might be given a certain label. So much of the sexual controversy today stems from viewing childhood through an adult’s lens rather than through a child’s lens, and it is a very slippery slope.
Hi Diane,
I really appreciate your walk back through your own childhood and the question you pose here: “Was I sheltered, or was it just a different era?”
I have similar questions about my own upbringing. Was I sheltered? So much of what I have learned in the last decade or so as an adult was never taught to me or even hinted at as a child. I feel like the difference between gender and sex, in particular, makes so much make sense in my mind that I just didn’t “get” before learning about it. I tend to think I was sheltered, yes, but also that my parents didn’t know what they didn’t know. And it wasn’t something they taught or talked about in school either. I remember having a friend who was more of a tomboy and having random students ask me if they were male or female all the time. It upset me that they even questioned that, that it was what they saw when looking at my friend rather than the amazing person they were. But even then, I didn’t think about how my friend might have identified. I didn’t know it was something I should think about or consider. It was definitely a different, far less informed and open, time.
Diane. I really enjoyed your thoughts about growing up. I agree that “Children can and should play with whatever toys they like and participate in whatever activities they like.” I think that today there is more acceptance of this than when I grew up. Gender roles were very much in place during the 60s and 70s. But there are still adult beliefs from people who came from those decades. That is where the “danger comes when adults insert their own perspectives and beliefs (and maybe even fears)”, as you said.
I could not agree with your post more! As a child, I would only wear make-up for special occasions. Even in high school, my makeup consisted of light foundation, mascara, and chapstick. I remember wearing a full face of what kids would consider today as “daily make-up” for prom and feeling like I was a doll on display. I felt so incredibly adult and uncomfortable. I even recall taking off my lipstick once pictures were taken. In today’s world, my students are constantly reapplying their make-up between classes. Some even wear fake nails and fake eyelashes. I think we live in a society where the beauty industry is causing serious mental damage to children by making it the norm, and by making it popular to wear overloaded make-up. My niece is 10 years old and told me over winter break that she needed to start an intense skin care routine because her friends have. She said she needed to because she doesn’t want wrinkles when she’s older. When I was a kid I didn’t think about wrinkles. I enjoyed being a kid and I wish she would enjoy her youth while she has it.
Great exhibit for this week!
I remember learning about the difference between gender and sex in a way that finally clicked when I was almost 40 years old. I had grown up with the assumption and lesson that gender and sex were the same thing. It wasn’t until I went back to college later in life that I heard they were different and how. I never realized that sex was your physical presentation and gender was inside, how you felt, how you presented yourself to the world. It baffles me a bit that it took so long for me to get that. The Ted Talk from Dr. Goepferd reminded me of that moment from several years ago. I really appreciated their crayon analogy. It made sense. Why would we color with just one color when so many are available? I’m female and identify as such, but even I wouldn’t use much pink on my picture. I don’t subscribe to traditional gender roles, in general. I don’t fit the “traditional woman” mold. So, imagining what colors I would use was useful in transferring those ideas to other people, children in particular.
I was also struck by the Buckingham reading for today. It was interesting to read about sexuality in children, how adults view it versus how children view similar things…this idea that kids are getting older younger. It reminds me of other weeks when we looked at parents’ feelings about their children. For example, in Huck’s Raft, 1950s parents remarked on a similar idea. And here we are, 70+ years later, still saying the same things.
And to comment on the film for this week quickly, I have to say I really felt for Ludo when he went outside dressed in his sister’s princess dress and his mother’s shoes wearing lipstick. He looked genuinely proud of himself, and he was met with shock and laughter and even some anger from his father. At 7, they still saw him as “finding himself” rather than trying to tell them who he really was. And as the movie progressed, watching the parents fight over how to handle Ludo was sad. And then this dumpster fire kept getting worse with the school saying he was too eccentric for them and all the parents signing that petition to get him out, his family and neighbors turning on him…ugh. I just can’t imagine treating my children the way that his parents (his mother in particular) treat him throughout this thing. (We’re going to ignore the bizarre doll/billboard/flying woman stuff haha).
Kristi,
I agree that it took me some time to think through gender vs sex. However, it makes sense that not everyone fits into a specific box defined by two genders. We are all fluid based off current gender ideas (or I’d say very repressed if one fits perfectly in the box). I thought the movie was very sad as well; it broke my heart that the parents treated him in such a way. I thought about that movie after watching the clip about Jacob in the exhibit this week. If they would have accepted Ludo in the same way–no one would have known Ludo was a boy until adolescents (and even then they might not have noticed until late adolescents). It was just such a crazy way to respond to a child wanting to be themselves, and both parents struggled at different times.
Thanks for sharing!
Carrie
Kristi, near the end of Dr. Angela Kade Goepferd’s talk, when they paint a scenario of asking a child to draw using only one of two crayons, pink or blue … “Imagine all we would miss,” I felt moved. I love the way they continue with the idea of handing a child a box of 64 crayons and saying, “Show us who you are.” Two quotes Geopferd shares from queer author and activist Leslie Feinberg will stay with me:
“Gender is the poetry we write with the language we are taught.”
“My right to be me is tied with a thousand threads to your right to be you.”
On the topic of Ma Vie en Rose, I’d love to share a resource I just found that might be of interest to y’all … Allison McGuffie’s “Falling into Pam’s World: Transgender Fantasy, Cinematic Pleasure, and Ethical Empathy in Ma vie en rose” (Transgender Studies Quarterly, vol. 9, issue 4, November 1, 2022, pp. 563-586). (“Ma vie en rose” is in italics.)
https://read-dukeupress-edu.ezaccess.libraries.psu.edu/tsq/article/9/4/563/343598/Falling-into-Pam-s-WorldTransgender-Fantasy
Here’s a quote that I think gives us food for thought:
(“Pam’s World” is in italics.)
“By attaching the film spectator to Ludovic’s sensorial experience of the social world organized by a gender binary that cannot accommodate their gender nonconformity, the film generates empathy for Ludovic’s struggles. This empathy opens space for viewers, especially cisgender viewers who may come to the film with little understanding of Ludovic’s situation, to lovingly embrace Ludovic’s inherent social value as Hanna does when she tumbles into Pam’s billboard” (564-565).
And here’s an excerpt about Ludovic’s grandmother:
“Élisabeth is the only safe adult for Ludovic throughout much of the film, but even she is unable to convince others to accept Ludo. After seeing Ludovic’s love of Pam’s World on television and that Ludo identifies with Pam, not Pam’s boyfriend, Ben, Élisabeth sits down for a heart-to-heart with her gender-nonconforming grandchild. They gaze at Élisabeth’s prize music box featuring a dancing ballerina that Élisabeth images herself to be. Élisabeth says that, when the world is too harsh, she closes her eyes and sees herself with smooth skin and curves like the toy ballerina. With this example, Élisabeth teaches Ludo how to imagine themself in a dream world where they can be as feminine as they want, just as Élisabeth imagines herself still young and pretty in her own fantasy. This proves to be a pivotal moment for Ludovic because they use this psychological strategy later to escape violences in the real world, such as punishment for wearing dresses, a traumatic nonconsensual haircut, and other pressures to present socially acceptable masculinity” (567-568).
Just chiming in here to say these were insightful remarks about Ma vie en rose. I was moved by the film and the relationship with Elisabeth reminded me of the grandparent figure in other media (thinking I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings in particular). I was wondering about the parent’s role in a child’s identity versus other adult figures. A parent (typically) shoulders more responsibility for a child’s well-being overall whereas other adult figures do not have the same expectations to provide financially. I wonder how this unique relationship could open up more communication and possibility.
Cara, thanks for this connection! I’d love to share a quote from Claudia Maria Fernandes Correa’s article, “Through Their Voices She Found Her Voice: Women in Maya Angelou’s I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings”:
(I wasn’t able to use formatting, such as the superscript for note 3.)
“Grandmothers have ‘been a significant force in the stability and the continuity of the Black family and the community’ (Lupton 260), and we can observe such traits in Momma, Maya’s 3 grandmother from her father’s side, who is the moral center of her family. Her store was built in the center of the Negro section of Stamps and ‘over the years it became the lay center of activities in town’ (Angelou 6). On a second level, Momma Annie Henderson is the carrier of traditions and stories that pass on orally from generation to generation; she is the protector of such stories. These stories and the wisdom of the black people will prove to be a strength that Maya will carry throughout her life. They represent safety and guidance to be referred to in moments when she does not know what to do” (80).
The article is in Ariel: A Review of International English Literature, 41.1, January 2010, pp. 69-90), and it can be accessed via this link: https://journalhosting.ucalgary.ca/index.php/ariel/article/view/35001
Note #3:
“To make a distinction between the author and character, we refer to the character in the book by the name Maya and to the author by her name, Angelou” (89).
And here’s the bibliographic information for Mary Jane Lupton’s article:
Lupton, Mary Jane. “Singing the Black Mother: Maya Maya and the Autobiographical Continuity.” Black American Literature Forum (24.2) 20th-Century Autobiography (Summer, 1990): 257–276.
I find the Calvin Klein advertisement an interesting idea. The child model and even the parent of the child model seem to think nothing wrong with the advertisement and the controversy about it. I think that the reason why the child model didn’t see any issue with what he was doing is because he was feeling the perks of being the face of a popular campaign. He was feeling mature and important in that moment. Possibly the parents were distracted by the popularity their child was becoming and the financial gain he was most likely getting from his ad job to care about the actual damages it caused. I talked about this in my side exhibit contribution that sometimes the children are so excited to be placed in the spotlight and feel mature that they are naive to the damages being done to them. Parents on the other hand should be more aware of the realities of the world but they can easily be distracted by “shiny things” as well.
Watching the Maury segment here in the gallery, I was unclear about what the controversy over this Calvin Klein ad really was all about. Calvin Klein ads have always been minimalistic and tend to feature just a single item of clothing. So, what’s all the fuss?
But then I googled “Calvin Klein 1995 commercial” and it’s actually *super* creepy.
https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=242427316582005
It isn’t the still print images that are the issue. The commercials, especially the one with Kate Moss, are predatory. The manipulative tone of the male off-camera voice and the suburban basement-like setting make me wonder who was the intended audience for this ad?
The intended product consumer is obviously the teen and young adult crowd, but the ad would not appeal to that audience. I’m curious about who directed this ad campaign and what their intentions were.
It leaves me wondering what else was going on. Were sales dipping and they needed to create a controversy in order to get attention in the market? And, what other media trends were taking place at that time? Was there a trend in highlighting middle-age, white male sadism? Silence of the Lambs was released in 1991 and the movie Seven came out in 1995 as well, so maybe that was a theme in the moment.
But, in overview, Calvin Klein’s ad campaigns have always aimed at being provocative. This WWD article reviews how this brand has pushed the boundaries ever since its inception
https://wwd.com/feature/calvin-klein-ads-1236117541/
Team,
I really enjoyed your exhibit. The story on the Calvin Klein ad and the story on Jacob’s transition were both very interesting. I thought it was interesting how to son and the dad for the CK ad thought it was fine for the son to go without a parent for the shoot. It seems like an opportunity for people to exploit his child. Anyone who was aware of CK in the 90s knew what the ad would look like–they were all super skinny, half dressed models. I might be thinking about the moral panic associated with males in power and the sexual exploitation we’ve seen from Hollywood and advertisers. If the boy did not feel exploited though, what does the backlash say to him? That there is something wrong with his body? He probably thinks about the fact that he’s gone shirtless most of his life, and now adults are making it sexual–he probably felt more uncomfortable after the backlash than he ever thought before. I was less concerned with the ad itself and more concerned with him going alone without a parent.
Jacob’s story was also very interesting (and much like the story of Ludovic). I think it’s interesting that our ideas on gender are so ingrained that a child can’t just decide they like a gender more than another. Maybe Jacob couldn’t relate to what his siters liked and decided he wanted to live a different way. Also, why do we care so much as a society? We again turn a child’s want into something sexual. It is clear these children aren’t worried about sexuality; they are worried about how the can behave and how they are treated based off gender norms.
So really, are the children being sexual? or are we sexualizing them?
Carrie
Also, the teen in the Maury segment mentions his brother skateboarding in Washington Square Park in the mid-1990s. These are not kids who were sheltered their children from the world. I don’t think that this 15 year old boy was concerned about adults “sexualizing” him. Park kids in the 90s were definitely aware of their own sexual identity, as I’m sure they still are in this current decade.
If you were a young teen hanging out in Washington Sq. Park, you were probably not from a family that would accompany you to your first paid, contracted job. I thought it was interesting how the dad said that it would be weird if he had followed his kid around to this modeling job.
Carrie –
I love your two questions that you pose at the end of your post! While there is no right or wrong answer, I’d like to take a whack at it with my thoughts. I think both of your questions start out as two different things and then over the course of time, mold into one. I think young, child actors/models are innocent in the sense that they are not being sexual and the adults are sexualizing them and they do not realize it. They just know that they are doing a good job and everyone likes how their campaign turned out. I think tweeners and young teens actors/models could fall under both categories, where the categories mold into one. They are being sexual because they’re aware enough that they want to make sure they are as sexualized as they can get away with, as well as the adults in control are sexualizing them as much as they can without pushing the boundaries completely.
The image of the two different make up kits at the start of the “Teenagers and Cosmetic Spending” section is interesting to me.
I recall ordering my first make up kit from a magazine order form in maybe 1990 or 1991 when I was about ten. It was so grown up! It had three different shades of mascara – green, blue, and purple, as well as eyeshadow and blush sections.
This was before the internet existed and was probably from an ad in a teen magazine. I recall that I was always interested in reading ahead so I knew what to expect from the next life stage even though it was years away still, and I thought the advice about periods and dating was good to know ahead of time. I look back and see that this was a pragmatic approach, more so than a precocious one.
Yes, pre-teens are spending more on skin care and cosmetics now than ever before, and that is a result of social media. But the impulse to get into grown up things is natural at that age and it’s not something new or perversely derived from access to media.
Hi Deanna! I agree that it is natural for children to emulate what they see around them and to be interested in the next stage of life. We always ask kids what they want to be when they grow up, right? All the more reason for diverse representation in teaching and caring roles. The more that kids see of themselves in roles they look up to, the more likely they are to consider it as a possibility for their own life.
That’s so right, Cara!
Children are regularly asked about their plans for adult life.
We expect them to be able to conceptualize themselves as adults filling particular social roles. And, we also expect that children can conceptualize themselves as adults in heteronormative relationships. Looking at the structure and content of PG cartoons, you can find that almost all films and series have a male + female love partnership at its core, whether that is with the main character or the main character’s parents. This is so prevalent, that when viewed from a critical perspective, the constant presentation of heterosexual relationships in media could be described as a culture of indoctrination.
This also makes me think of all those baby clothes that say gross things like “daddy says I can’t date” and “lock up your daughters”. These slogans on newborn and infant sized onesies are a way of getting babies and children to express their gender identity without their consent, and oddly, there are enough adults who think that’s adorable that it maintains a market for these items, like this: https://www.amazon.com/Custom-Bodysuit-Daughters-Striped-Clothes/dp/B08W3MJZZG
Also, this:
https://medium.com/@jessokfine/please-stop-sexualizing-infants-5dbf356c8dcd
I agree that the pre-teen wish to be more grown up is a universal one and not one necessarily perpetuated by social media. I also think its telling that marketing and capital-C Capitalism are unfortunately so effective that tweens are interested in such expensive and grown-up things rather than the silly “grown up” things that were marketed to me say in the 90s. It’s been a major theme this semester to determine “the knowing child” and part of coming into ones own is acting more grown up. This was a major theme of my group’s (Group C) side exhibit when we explored the photography of Sally Mann; I think that was week 1 or week 2.
Hi Deanna, I’ve noticed that many of the cosmetic lines nowadays are ran by celebrities (Rihanna, Selena Gomez, etc.) I wonder if that contributes to the fetishization of both celebrities and cosmetics and unrealistic beauty standards.
Great exhibit! This week’s topic on media, marketing, and sexuality made me think of the young girls in my class. I teach fourth grade, so my students are about 9-10 years old. It used to be that every once in a while, we would see girls come to school with makeup on, and you could tell that they were playing or acting “grown-up” for the day. However, today’s girls, just like those depicted in the clips of this exhibit, come to school every day wearing makeup, and their nails are manicured. One can tell that the girls have spent a lot of time and money figuring out what looks best. As Buckingham (2011) pointed out “Teenagers have become a lucrative market for the ‘beauty industry.” Only now, it’s also the tweens that are buying these products. Recently, one student confided in me that her good friend had told her she shouldn’t wear make-up because it could damage her skin (interestingly, this exhibit had a news clip about that very idea). She wanted to know if it was bad that she was wearing it. I told her “no,” but that I thought that she looked beautiful with and without it. I didn’t ask her why she wore it because I didn’t want her to feel guilty for doing so. I’m not sure of the real reason why girls are wearing makeup today. Is it to feel beautiful? To be accepted by their peers? Is it to find their own identity? To feel more grown up? I think it is probably a combination of all of those things. Social media does play a part in hurrying along their desire to grow up sooner, but I also think peers contribute to this desire as well. Kids want to fit in and feel included. Sadly, it is not always as easy as putting on makeup. I think of Goepferd’s example of her preschool son going to school wearing a princess dress. Unfortunately, he learned that dressing up in princess outfits was not acceptable to his teacher or his friends, so he changed his behavior to fit in. As I thought about that, I thought about all the other ways students come to school, with fantasies they enjoy acting out and how they get squashed by the more vocal students in the classroom, and I wonder at the number of students who have had to conform just to fit in. It’s heartbreaking.
Hi Beth! It is sad to conceptualize how many students have had to squash their individuality because of the pressure to conform. Your story about the makeup makes me wonder if there are some boys who would also enjoy playing with makeup but feel disempowered to try it. We need to uphold all our spaces to higher standards. But as a teacher, you make a great point about the vocal students being able to influence the culture of a classroom so much. I remember learning at my 5-year high school reunion about a whole lot of people who were gay or trans, and they did not feel comfortable sharing their truth in high school. I wonder if they did not feel welcome to do so. Thanks for your thoughts!
Beth, when you said “I thought that she looked beautiful with and without it” it reminded me of something. In my former district, the high school held a “Natural Day” as part of spirit week before the Homecoming football game (and the big dance that followed). The idea was for students to come to school without makeup, without fancy hairstyles, and all wearing jeans and plain T-shirts so that everyone had a similar style/look. I remember thinking it was a wonderful idea – and also thinking why does it need to be a special day? That’s what all of my high school days looked like, and the students who focused on those superficial things were considered to be rich snobs.
Hi Beth, that is an interesting observation. I’ve recently seen online that there is a trend of showing students in high school before the proliferation of social media to show how happy they looked. I wonder if that same phenomena extends to elementary school children.
This week I was walking my class to the gym when I noticed a little girl in a first grade class wearing sweatpants that said “Juicy” (like Juicy Couture) across the top. What ensued within my brain is actually kind of funny after having the context of this class. My first reaction was one of repulsion. I saw this little innocent kiddo skipping down the hall and I was grossed out by the idea of an adult making clothes for a child that said Juicy above the butt.
Then, I had a little flashback to my own middle school experience. Juicy Couture was a big trend for middle school girls in 2006-2008. I never- not even ONCE- realized there was anything sexual about this. Not even once. I wanted my mom to take me to the Juicy outlet store so I could get a Juicy sweatsuit like some of my friends. I wanted to fit in and feel cute. And I did! Having the “right” clothes boosted my self esteem. Your point about the increase in sexual imagery and branding not necessarily meaning that children are understanding it is relevant to my experience. You asked if children may just be “following a trend and aiming to be cool and fashionable.” This was definitely the case for me, and I wonder if it is also the case for the little first grader. Peer acceptance is a big factor in how children and families make decisions about what clothes to buy.
While I initially perceived the first grader’s clothes as sexualized and objected to it, upon self-reflection, there is a distinction to be made between the Juicy company marketing itself to children and the choice of families to dress their children in these clothes. The former feels sexualizing and wrong, while the latter feels more complex and not inherently sexual.
Your section on cosmetic surgeries for children under 18 shocked me! I would be curious to know what those numbers look like now, about 20 years later.
Finally, I am glad we are having discussions around supporting transgender youth and their families. Our society is still deeply transphobic. It breaks my heart. Goepferd’s Ted Talk was a unique take in that Goepferd is non-binary, a parent, and a pediatrician. Their perspective was interesting. I especially resonated with their crayon box analogy. It reminded me of an experience one of my colleagues recently had during parent teacher conferences. Our school district recently undertook a rewrite of our social studies curriculum K-12. I happen to be on the committee for first grade and played a part in selecting mentor texts. One of our units is on identity and culture. We explored the concept of change over time and how your identity may shift as you grow older. My colleague was reading one of the mentor texts which, on one page, portrays people of many gender identities and says that you can be a boy or a girl or even more choices. While the conversations about change over time overwhelmingly stayed within an expected realm of “I used to play soccer and now I don’t,” and “I used to be an only child but then my parents adopted my sister,” a parent in her class heard about that specific page of the book and vehemently opposed us reading this to the kids. My colleague did a phenomenal job in discussing with the parent and in maintaining the stance that as a public school we include and honor all people. However, it shed a light for me on how much work remains to be done in my community towards establishing a gender inclusive culture. More honest conversations need to happen when friction occurs and more coming together, not blasting people from the safety of a social media post.
Wonderful job on your museum exhibit! It’s such a thought-provoking topic and you did a great job tackling it all.
Cara –
I wanted to comment on your beginning content regarding the student that was wearing sweatpants with the words across the back. My childhood was the early 90s and I remember that was a trend! I remember very vividly that my Mother would not buy me any pants that had wording on the back. I was so confused because I just wanted them because everyone else had them. The 90s was such a different time compared to this generation. In the 90s we were still innocent and very child-like with our fashion trends. I often think about what I was wearing when I was in middle school compared to what this generation wears in middle school and it is wild. Anyway – I just wanted those types of sweatpants because I wanted to fit in. I remember my Mother telling me, “that gives people a reason to really look at your butt..” and I just rolled my eyes and didn’t understand her. Now that I am older, hats off to her for making comments like that and actually enforcing rules with what clothing I wore.
This is really interesting! I love your connection between your current reality as an educator and reflecting back on your middle school experience. It’s almost like a juxtaposition. Working in education, I find myself always protecting the innocence of my students while allowing them to explore their personal self-expression. This also prompts me to reflect on my own high school experience or early grade school years.
I’ve had those experiences as well! It’s wild what can be brought up from our own early memories while we work with kids. At my current school, I work with a woman who taught at the preschool I attended as a kid. It’s such a trip to sing nursery songs with her when I remember her singing them in my own childhood!
Hats off to you! There was so much content assigned to us for this topic and this topic could have gone anywhere! I think you guys did a great job! I liked your section regarding Childhood Sexuality after Freud: The Problem of Sex in Early Childhood Education specifically study two. I am a preschool teacher and the day is filled with exploratory play which is just another term for centers. One of the centers is called Dramatic Play. This center is exactly what it is called. I tend to keep this center focused around the current study (or theme as we know it, but my school doesn’t allow that word). Sometimes, I just have the center as its roots – kitchen/house area. Out of all of my centers in my classroom, this is the one that I tend to always sit in or next to it as my students are playing it. I learn so much about what my students know. At times, it really startles me at some of the topics of conversation as well as even just watching what my students do. The boys often put the baby dolls in the oven to cook them (quite concerning). The girls often play house. If there is all the same gender in the center when the students are playing house, some students will say, “Okay, we’re both of the Mommies.” (because there only girls in the center playing). Or, “Okay, I’m the Mom and you’re the Dad.” (even if there are still only girls in the center playing). Once they determine whose role they are playing, they go to the bin of dress up clothes. Whichever female is the Dad will find the boy clothes and wear them and not even think twice about it, because they know the center that they are in and what their role is in playing house. It is one of my favorite, most intriguing centers to observe during my day.
“I learn so much about what my students know.”
Gabrielle, thanks for telling us about your observations sitting next to the Dramatic Play center! It sounds like the children feel very comfortable in the kitchen/house area (love your description of it as the “roots” of the center) to try on roles and speak freely. In case you’re not already familiar with Bronwyn Davies’s Frogs and Snails and Feminist Tales: Preschool Children and Gender, I want to mention that I think you’d find it interesting. Davies says that a young girl’s reaction to Robert Munsch’s The Paper Bag Princess, illustrated by MIchael Martchenko, was inspirational in her decision to write the book.
While searching online for something else, I found this archive of Physical Culture magazines.
This issue from 1937 talks about people being transgender.
https://dmr.bsu.edu/digital/collection/PhyCul/id/13295
It’s fascinating because the language they use is really neutral and the article is totally free from the hand wringing that is all too present in current day discussions of gender. Check out how easily they discuss gender affirming surgery, changing use of pronouns, and joyful mentions of new relationships and marriages… and this was 1937!!
And on page 85, the author equates varieties in individual sexual identity to variations in fingerprints, and asks why would we not assume that sexual disposition varies as much as the rest of our bodies do!
Deanna, this Physical Culture issue is fascinating! I agree that the language is more neutral and one of scientific curiosity, rather than moral considerations. Thank you for finding and sharing it!
Deanna, thanks from me also for your research and for sharing this archive! I was curious about Chevalier d’Eon de Beaumont and fascinated to discover resources such as Linda Rodriguez McRobbie’s “The Incredible Chevalier d’Eon, Who Left France as a Male Spy and Returned as a Christian Woman” (July 29, 2016, Atlas Obscura):
https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/the-incredible-chevalier-deon-who-left-france-as-a-male-spy-and-returned-as-a-christian-woman
I love that comparison of identity to fingerprint shapes! I think it’s a really neat way to acknowledge diversity as a part of science and life in general.
The section on ‘Ma Vie En Rose’ asked some pointed (and frankly leading) questions that made me think about “boys” toys and “girls” toys. Children are largely androgynous for much of their early years and there is no reason why someone AMAB (assigned male at birth) shouldn’t play with dolls and someone AFAB (assigned female at birth) should not play with trucks and the like. These antiquated ideas as so ingrained in our society that when one thinks of dress-up play the immediate thought is ‘oh that’s for girls!’ We’re living in 2024 and while there has been some headway in these topics, I think there is still a very insidious predisposition to straightness and straight culture in the U.S.
Having worked in education for the better part of the last decade, I see the way that kids who are different are still bullied much like I witnessed when I was in school almost 20 years ago.
This also makes me wonder as to how different communities still hold these beliefs and frankly, how my professional career ought to take some different turns if I want to be serving in a community with progressive or regressive beliefs.
Akiva, I totally agree with you! I’m working on early childhood education and I have a relatively high number of AMAB kids who frequently come to school in dresses, with painted nails, etc. It’s completely accepted at my school which I feel very grateful and proud for!
Wow, great exhibit team! I found it so true that discussion of sexuality as it relates to youth can be very uncomfortable. I am reminded of Sally Mann’s photography in a previous lesson, which included many photos of the artist’s children in various states of undress. I think the initial discomfort is probably good for us educators to feel, but we need to make sure it doesn’t get in the way of our work to educate and care for youth.
Rachel, I think I’d have to agree with you, Sally Mann’s photographs are incredibly hard to digest. That said, I’d also agree that as educators we must make sure that we are able to properly educate our students without impacting the natural progression of their development.
I think that it is difficult to talk about childhood and gender because it is so quickly politicized in the US, but I also think it is for exactly that reason it needs to be an open discussion. Children who are dealing with gender and identity issues as a child are going to have that be part of their lives for as long as they live. If people demonize what is normal for them, it is going to create many problems for the individuals as they grow up as well as societal problems. I hope that we can destigmatize these discussions going forward.
I absolutely agree with you!
Hi Jack, I agree, the safety of LGBT youth and students is very important, maybe even more so because it’s become so politicized. I wrote about this topic in my group’s side exhibit!
Hey Jack, you bring up an excellent point about creating a safe and open space for children to discuss and learn about sexuality and gender. Right now we live in a time where politicians are actively seeking to prohibit any sort of discussion or educating experience regarding gender or sexuality to any and all grades, not just children. That said, I think if we hold open discussion on gender, we are less likely to see gender based bullying occur as there will be less of a stigma to act a certain way based on the stereotypes society has created for specific genders.
I think this is one of the most important gallery entries in my opinion! Y’all did a fantastic job on this exhibit! I found particularly interesting the child cosmetic industry and the conversation around teens and plastic surgery. This is a difficult topic to tackle, but y’all did an amazing job!
Hello! I think your discussion on sexuality within childhood is super fascinating. I remember being in my first psychology class in college, and we were discussing Freud and his theories on development. The reason I bring this up is because you too mentioned Freud in your explanation of teaching sex in early education, and I have many thoughts on that in the sense that I would argue that there are aspects of sex that we can educate the children on that are not too in depth so as to scare them or make them uncomfortable. If anything, it would be teaching them on things they already have questions about as they grow.